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the first part (before the self-harm) describes me... but i have had many times when i stood in the kitchen.. with a knife... or at the toilet, two fingers in my throat (i weigh 114lbs - already severely underweight thankyouverymuch - more or less trying to induce anorexia/bulimia just as a form of self-destruction), when i suddenly think 'what am i doing'.. but even that starts to kick in later...
You poor thing... If there is one thing I pride in myself, it is that I prefer to try and help others before I bother to help myself. Odd if I do say so myself, considering the misanthropy thing... Since I know what you're going through, I could sit here and tell you what you might determined to be lies('the grass is always greener', 'you are a precious person', etc.), or I could tell you this. I am not anyone special. I'm a nobody who will never amount to anything. I will probably be just a shadow to many people. But I reach my hand out to those in need because I care a lot. I seem to be unable to stand by and allow someone to go feeling unneeded or angry. I embrace crying folks because I hate seeing that pain. Despite my strange relationship with my fellow man, pain is something that gets to me. If you, anyone here who reads this post really, ever feel the need to let it all out, my arms are opened. I'm not always around, but I would love it if I could somehow, someway make you smile, and take in the wonderful fresh air that comes from mother earth.
For those who are curious of what severe clinical depression feels like, I think parts between 4:37 - 8:27 of this Let's Play video is an excellent simulation of a depressed person's behaviors and thoughts leading up to suicide. Unfortunately I was dealing with severe clinical depression at the time of first playing this game so this game kind of...triggered me. However, do disregard that almost every character in this otome game is a bird like my avatar/user name; this game is amazing at character and story development!
I can understand why some people would end their lives. Personally I would not soon end my life, as I'm rather content with my existance. Thing is, I might not always be. I've witnesses the results of dementia and old age, and I would like to live my life with dignity. Once I'd go incontinent, fail to recognize close friends or family, and am unable to perform even the most basic of tasks... that's the point where I might consider calling it a night.
For those who are curious of what severe clinical depression feels like, I think parts between 4:37 - 8:27 of this Let's Play video is an excellent simulation of a depressed person's behaviors and thoughts leading up to suicide. Unfortunately I was dealing with severe clinical depression at the time of first playing this game so this game kind of...triggered me. However, do disregard that almost every character in this otome game is a bird like my avatar/user name; this game is amazing at character and story development!
-Does every person have the right to decide whether or not to continue with his/her life?
No, not every person. There's that instance of the man who held those three women in his basement for ten+ years. Rather than serving his prison sentence, he killed himself. The same can be said for many people. They made poor life choices that also ended up harming others, and rather than facing the consequences, trying to correct things or atone for it, they kill themselves. These people SHOULDN'T have the right to kill themselves, at least until they pay everyone back for what they've done.
-Is it disrespectful to the survivors or should one accept that others chose the path that is right for them?
It depends. It can be very disrespectful to survivors who put in a lot of effort to help them, or the people who will have to bury them. In other cases, others should accept that it's the right path for them. (Like a terminally ill patient who doesn't want to live with the pain.)
-Is suicide ever "the right choice?"
Yes. Some people are truly better off dead, and recognize that. (Terminally ill people who suffer on a daily basis like in my previous example.)
-When is a person allowed to make "the choice".
If it's really the only option to end the pain, then it should be allowed. If there's another way out, even if it's more difficult, that option should be tried first.
-Does every person have the right to decide whether or not to continue with his/her life?
No, not every person. There's that instance of the man who held those three women in his basement for ten+ years. Rather than serving his prison sentence, he killed himself. The same can be said for many people. They made poor life choices that also ended up harming others, and rather than facing the consequences, trying to correct things or atone for it, they kill themselves. These people SHOULDN'T have the right to kill themselves, at least until they pay everyone back for what they've done.
That is the most sadistic fucking thing I've ever heard. A guy kept women in his basement so you want to keep him in the government's? How does that make you any better than him?
-Does every person have the right to decide whether or not to continue with his/her life?
No, not every person. There's that instance of the man who held those three women in his basement for ten+ years. Rather than serving his prison sentence, he killed himself. The same can be said for many people. They made poor life choices that also ended up harming others, and rather than facing the consequences, trying to correct things or atone for it, they kill themselves. These people SHOULDN'T have the right to kill themselves, at least until they pay everyone back for what they've done.
That is the most sadistic fucking thing I've ever heard. A guy kept women in his basement so you want to keep him in the government's? How does that make you any better than him?
Or more to the point, how can it be properly judged when/if he has paid everyone back in full? I guess you could argue eye-for-an-eye insofar as that justice is met after he's served a prison sentence equal to the length of his victims' imprisonment, but then others would argue that justice isn't served until he dies naturally in prison, conscious of the life he is missing, or is executed at the hands of the state. I don't think the legality/morality of suicide can be judged on a case-by-case basis. Everybody either has the right to die or no one does.
The first thing to accept is that suicide is almost always selfish, barring a few very rare exceptions. But then love is pretty selfish, too, isn't it? No matter what, someone's always going to get hurt.
Suicide is -- usually -- a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I was close to one once, as in "asleep in the room downstairs" close, and woke up early one morning because something was dripping on me. Blood had soaked through the carpet, the flooring, and the ceiling of the room below where I was. She'd stabbed herself a zillion times with a chef's knife before opening up a leg artery, and wasn't dead yet. Called 911 and the ambulance was there in about thirty seconds, followed by more cops than I could count. The family (I was a relation by marriage) eventually left for the hospital and the cops faded away . . . it got down to me and one cop, and before he left he tactfully suggested that when the family got home it'd be better if something was done about the mess in the next room. I got the hint. An expedition to get cleaning supplies followed -- it was a beautiful Saturday morning and everyone in the store (it seemed) was buying beer, charcoal, barbequeables, and such. When I got up to the cashier with my load of sponges, towels, bleach, cleanser, and such, she said, "Cleaning up a little today?" Why, yes. Yes I am.
The amount of blood was un-fucking-believable. How much are you supposed to have, five liters or something? It seemed more like five gallons. It took me nearly three hours, throwing bloodsoaked stuff out and scrubbing everything that couldn't be thrown away. That day holds the record for "The Least Fun I Ever Had On A Saturday." Afterwards, I buzzed on up to the hospital and found everyone in the ICU; she looked so horrible with bandages and tubes everywhere, eyes taped shut, a machine breathing for her, other machines lit up and beeping, and that hospital smell. I had to go out in the hall and sit on the floor against the wall for a few minutes 'cause I got really dizzy and didn't want to fall over.
She was braindead and died the next night.
What surprised me was how pissed off I was at her. I didn't expect it and didn't mean to feel like that, but there it is. She was awfully depressed, and not without reason, but really could have done something about it besides that. People tried to help but nothing ever came of it, and yeah I do blame her for it. Do unto yourself whatever you dig, but suicide like that was not a nice thing to do to the poor dumb shits who survived.
I had a two-year bout with an encephalopathy (= blanket term for "brain disease") in the mid-Y2K-decade so I know firsthand what dementia's like. A few times I just didn't give a fuck if I died right then, because it seemed more pleasant and peaceful than trying to deal with the baffling turbulence of living. What kept me from doing anything about it was realizing that a cool guy like me would never fuck up everybody's day and piss them off just because he wanted to sneak out early. I guess I can deal with another day of this shit.
tl;dr: Yes, it should be allowed, but only for the right reasons. The "right reasons" are subjective can't be decided by someone else but the individual, so yes, it's the individual's right to make the choice for themselves. It'd be nice if you could have them arrested post mortum for doing it impulsively, for dramatic purposes, or for just not thinking about things -- but you can't, so there it is.
Zero issues with an adult who is not mentally retarded doing it to get out of a tortured existence, medication-resistant mental or physical illness, terminal disease, sex offender, child abuser & domestic violence offender registration (all wifebeaters, childbeaters, pedoforks & rapists should die imho) or something seriously embarrassing like herpes or syphilis. In other words taking one's life out of mercy, public safety reasons, or saving face.
It is never the right choice. Even though the person may believe it to be because they're overwhelmed with stress, grief and other negative emotions. Even though a persons quality of life can seem absolutely dismal there is still a chance it can be improved and you would be surprised by how much.
I've made choices to not commit suicide in my past, but it was still a decision of mine to make.
You should always have a right to do so if truely desired.
I've lost and have almost lost many close friends to this decision. Realized how little control I have over those whom almost took their lives, and discovered just how much I'd rather live from those whom have.
Personally, I never see suicide as an answer. However, I would put my life in danger to save another, if the situation called for it.
It's your life, your right, your choice. That's true freedom.
sometimes, when you have nothing else... the urge is so overwhelming that you just do it. is it ever the answer? in some, rare cases, but for the most part no. it's a choice, albeit an oftentimes stupid one.
i've been dealing with these emotions for a while now, so i know what it feels like to be so close to the edge that i grab for the bottle of pills before i even think of stopping myself. when it all boils down, you have the choice over living or dying when it comes to suicide. is it always the answer? no, because life is unpredictable and you never know what might come your way. stay alive my friends.
If they are over 18, yes. I don't think minors are generally capable of making an informed decision (about most things), though I recognize that a minor's suffering can be very real and very detrimental. At the end of the day, since I was put into this world without my consent, I should at least be able to take myself out of it.
-Is it disrespectful to the survivors or should one accept that others chose the path that is right for them?
I don't think there is a correct answer for this. A person who is closely connected to someone who commits suicide will also be deeply affected, and I don't believe that anyone should be told what to feel, especially during a lengthy process of grieving. I do hope, however, that the stigma around suicide lessens in the future (similarly to how terminally ill patients aren't villified for choosing to end their lives like how people with chronic, detrimental mental illnesses are).
Yes, it is, in both cases of terminal illness and severe mental illness. In cases of mental illness, I believe that a person should at least try treatment before suicide. At the same time, cases of treatment-resistant depression (for example) do exist and a person should be afforded a dignified death (assisted euthanasia) when all possible treatments have been exhausted to no avail.
Technically, any time. I think if someone is 18+, they should be able to refuse treatment, and if that leads to suicide, so be it.
Additionally, I think euthanasia is preferable when someone has been consistently suicidal/severely depressed for years- When someone jumps off a roof or hangs themselves (for example), that will ultimately lead to someone else's trauma- whether it be a loved one or stranger. Euthanasia will make it so that NO uninformed person will have to stumble upon a dead body and deal with the aftermath of it.
I've had many an extended period of time where I wanted to jump off a bridge and hit the water and die, but always ended up coming up with enough good reasons not to do it that generally kept me stable for another while. Couldn't bear leaving family behind, no guarantees the afterlife's gonna be any better, no guarantees that whatever happens when you die isn't 100 times more bullshit than anything you've gotta deal with here, all sorts of fun stuff like that.
If someone gets to the point where they can't even find solace in any of that, then yeah, I can see why they'd wanna end it. Doesn't necessarily make it any less tragic, but I can at least sort of see where they're coming from.
I've had some trouble with this sort of thing as well. Thankfully, I didn't hurt myself too bad, and the few wounds I had healed up. Had I just given up, I wouldn't have learned. Even then, I'm too curious to let myself just die. The thought of tomorrow has always intrigued me, and that's one of the things that keeps me going. It's one of the reasons I like science fiction and science and technology itself. To think that one day, I'll be alive to witness so many bright, wonderful things. If I just kept living in the past, I'd have given up a long time ago. And even when I look back and get depressed, that little voice in my head keeps telling me to go on, no matter how much I dwell on my own mistakes and inadequacies. But that's just me. I'm one out of billions of people on this earth, and no one thinks exactly the same as someone else. So to answer your questions,
That's not exactly something in one's own control. If you feel depressed, you can't exactly tell yourself to stop unless you know you're faking it for whatever awful reason there is for someone to fake that sort of thing. When people succumb to their emotions, they don't think. They just act. A person has the right to feel that way as much as others have the right to interfere and try to stop them. What happens past that is up to fate.
I personally wouldn't call suicide the right path. Some, especially in the Christian faith, believe our lives are on rails, that there is a right and wrong path and that fate is set in motion not by one's actions but by the will of a higher being. In my opinion, we're the ones who manipulate our own faith. Life is a room with five doors. We choose which door to open, but we don't get to say what's on the other side. While I don't approve of the course of action, one has to understand that nobody just chooses to kill themselves any day of the week. They go down a path that beats them into submission and drives them to surrender. Again, they didn't choose what was on that path, they only chose to walk it. And we can accept that it's the right choice, or we can pick our comrade up, and help them to see that they haven't seen all that the road has to offer them. For some, their efforts don't prove to be enough, or they're too late, and they feel betrayed. They feel insulted and inadequate. It's important to take that into account before you find yourself too far gone.
Sometimes, it's not a choice. Sometimes it is. And sometimes, people are just stupid. Like I said, for some, they just stop thinking. They can't contemplate on anything and they stop thinking about what is right or wrong. They're just... puppets, acting out a gruesome show for others to observe. From there, they can't be controlled without physical force. And it's a long way to get them out of that rut. It takes years. Sometimes, they just never come back the same. When there's those who aren't at that state, they have to stop and think. What could possibly be right about this? Most everybody who contemplates suicide is in this state. Nobody truly loses themselves until they're an hour away from pulling the trigger. It takes abuse to push someone over the edge. When people go through with it when just simply considering the idea, this is when people begin to call them cowards, losers, idiots, etc. They know their friend isn't helpless, but they still do it, and they don't know why. At this state, you need to start talking to people and expressing your emotions a lot more. You'll learn a lot. Then there's stupid people, and I have a lot of faith in humanity, but then there's people like this. People who just act on the first thing that pops into their heads. That's not depression, it's not being desperate, it seems to just be a joke to them. Remember the ending to The Room (no, I'm being serious here)? When
Johnny just straight up offs himself because of one little thing?
You think about how that happens and what a massive amount of stress it'd bring you, but he just did it. He wasn't even thinking about it at all prior to that exact moment. That's when people are being stupid. That's when people have a right to be angry at the victim. Because nobody can tell what happens after that. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. As hard as it may be, it just needs to play out a while longer.
Technically, whenever. However, one person will stop you, and one person won't let you make that choice. That person is yourself. You, above all others, are what's keeping yourself from doing it. Rather than snuffing those feelings out, it's important to listen to what you have to say. You have to ask yourself why you can't let yourself do that. When you do, you'll understand why you can't do it. Society doesn't tell you when you're allowed to make the choice or if you're even allowed to make it at all. People don't make decisions for you. Nobody tells you what you like or who you love or who you are. You're the only one that does that. And when you feel like you're not allowed to make that choice, that's a sign to stop because you clearly want yourself to live, and it doesn't matter if others do or don't.
Hopefully all of that makes sense. I'm not exactly an expert on the subject, but I think a lot. I've figured out a lot about myself, and that's the first step to getting into the minds of others.
