Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

[DrJonesHat]

When I was a young child, I thought that George Michael was a hetero man who was getting all of the female groupies after his concerts.

To be fair, he did cultivate that image before he came out.

I thought Enya was singing "Save the Whales" in her song Orinoco Flow. I had hearing issues as a kid.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

That the world was actually fair

 

[KifflomKween]

I thought spaghetti was a plant so I tried to plant spaghetti by sticking it on the ground.

 

[N. Gin]

When I was really young, I thought Thailand was a shop where you could buy neckties, thinking it was spelled "Tieland".

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I used to think reading the dictionary would improve my grammar because Eminem told me so

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

When I was a little kid I didn’t comprehend that people were able to see me staring at them. I thought looking out of my eyes in real life was like looking at a tv , like how the people on don’t know your looking at them however I didn’t realize people in real life can see you looking at them

I have had to teach myself that as an adult.

When I was a kid, some guy told me that it meant 11. I believed it for 20 years, until I looked it up a minute ago. People online still can't decide what it means.

To me it seems like it should be "more than 3 (a few) but less than 12 (a dozen)"

 

[A Grey Cat]

i used to think being dead was nothing to be scared of because it was like going to sleep for a long time and we all went to heaven so long as you were a good person.

i don't want to sound edgy or cynical it's just...nowadays i don't know what to think about that anymore. I just want there to be...something beyond life on earth as a mortal.

 

[Sped Xing]

i used to think being dead was nothing to be scared of because it was like going to sleep for a long time and we all went to heaven so long as you were a good person.

i don't want to sound edgy or cynical it's just...nowadays i don't know what to think about that anymore. I just want there to be...something beyond life on earth as a mortal.

Dust thou art, and to that thou hast better get used.

 

[Just_A_guy]

I knew what semen was but I thought black dudes had black semen.

Thanks for reading about my dumb ass as a kid.

 

[Clovis]

When I was little I used to think I had conversations with God.

Amazingly, I'm not a serial killer.

I had a lot of "yeah, but what if..." paranoid thoughts and for a long time I had a strong suspicion everyone else in the world could read minds apart from me, and could not be reassured that this wasn't the case. I haven't thought about that for years, no idea when I let go of that particular belief. I'm as normal as the next kiwifarmer, now.

I also used to get told off for swearing at home. When I understandably asked why my parents could swear and I couldn't I was told I was too young. I think I really assumed I would be taken aside and handed my Official Fucking Swearing Certificate when I turned 16 or so. Now I tell my dad to fuck off all the time.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

When I was really young, I thought Thailand was a shop where you could buy neckties, thinking it was spelled "Tieland".

There is a Christmas song titled "Toyland." The version that I heard the most when I was growing up sounded as if the singer(s) sang "Thailand" instead of "Toyland." Young me couldn't understand why Thailand would be the subject of a Christmas song.

 

[jell0]

In 5th grade we had an assembly, talking about AIDS/HIV. They explained how the virus worked and symptoms. They explained that it could be sexually transmitted, but left out the part with you needing to have actual intercourse, semen and all that. So because of this lack of detail I thought I had AIDS from masturbating for like a month.

 

[Haunted Gambler]

When I was like 5, I read about how sun is going to die by growing huge and eating other planets 500 Billion years later. My small child mind couldn't grasp the meaning of 500 Billion years so I assumed it was closer than I think and I cried about it. My parents had to explain how long 500 Billion years to calm me down.

 

[AnOminous]

When I was like 5, I read about how sun is going to die by growing huge and eating other planets 500 Billion years later. My small child mind couldn't grasp the meaning of 500 Billion years so I assumed it was closer than I think and I cried about it. My parents had to explain how long 500 Billion years to calm me down.

I still find the idea of the inevitable heat death of the universe pretty depressing. We have a long time. But ultimately it means nothing.

 

[Drain Todger]

I thought you could build a working perpetual motion machine if you had enough ramps and magnets and the like for your ball bearings, and that the only reason they hadn't worked so far was because nobody had tried building a very large, very elaborate one big enough to take up at least an entire basketball court. Somehow, if you had enough sick-ass ramps and magnets, nature would eventually acquiesce to the awesomeness of your machine and allow you to create energy from nothing.

I thought orbits around planets were like rails. I didn't realize that the trajectory of an object around a body of a given mass was an intrinsic property of the object and its relationship to its parent. I thought an orbit was just an invisible thing floating off in space, and when you flew to it, you'd latch on somehow.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

i am from a spanish speaking country and i was 100 percent convinced Star Wars R2D2 was supposed to be "Arturito", i never had any reason to doubt it either, i actually think i didn't realize what the real spelling was until i was an adult but i wasn't big into star wars anyway, never have been, it was a pretty big "ohhhh" moment when i finally put two and two together.

 

[Bender]

i am from a spanish speaking country and i was 100 percent convinced Star Wars R2D2 was supposed to be "Arturito", i never had any reason to doubt it either, i actually think i didn't realize what the real spelling was until i was an adult but i wasn't big into star wars anyway, never have been, it was a pretty big "ohhhh" moment when i finally put two and two together.

Found this that might make you feel better: R2-D2, the Star Wars character is dubbed in Latin Spanish as "Arturito"

 

[Coily]

I believed cats and dogs behaved exactly like in cartoons, like Tom and Jerry or Looney Tunes. I also believed a society without money could work.
I was 4 years old.

 

[Cliff Booth]

My parents were big fans of Star Trek TNG when I was really young, so the first time I saw Reading Rainbow it blew my little fucking mind that Levar Burton wasn't actually blind.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I used to think that the Seleucid dynasty was Slavic because in my language we give them the suffix -ић or -ić, meaning "son of". Many of the last names in my country are basically [male first name]+ić, so when I read a history book and saw them be referred to as Seleuković, I came to the conclusion that they were Slavs.