Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

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When I was younger I thought that God was synonymous with Santa Clause.
I thought that Canada was a barren wasteland that housed one cabin.
I thought that Human skin was a rubber substance.
I thought that a principal was supposed to be a Willy Wonka type Amusement Host.
I thought that Bikes rode automatically.
 
Mambamia dijo:
When I was younger I thought that God was synonymous with Santa Clause.
I thought that Canada was a barren wasteland that housed one cabin.
I thought that Human skin was a rubber substance.
I thought that a principal was supposed to be a Willy Wonka type Amusement Host.
I thought that Bikes rode automatically.
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Have you ever considered you might be an actual, certifiable redard?
 
I thought that if the cops ever raided my house and saw the tapes of movies I recorded off the TV that I would go to jail so I always kept the labels turned so that you couldn't see what was on them unless you took the tapes out of the case
 
I used to think that urine and semen were stored in the same place and that a man wishing to impregnate someone would therefore have to completely empty his bladder before sex in order to avoid accidentally ejaculating urine.

I also used to have elaborate superstitions involving good luck and what kind of rituals were necessary to obtain it.
 
AsianChris dijo:
I though actors killed on-screen would die in real life.
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I thought that for live-action shows, the episodes were aired live each time they were shown (even reruns), and that the actors would be just doing the whole episode again each time it aired. I remember wondering if there would be slight differences each time an episode was aired, or if they ever made mistakes.
 
A friend told me when he was a kid he thought his father could support the family, and that he could rely on his parents. No on both, poor guy. .
 
Mr. ShadowCreek dijo:
As a toddler I thought a tornado was actually giant potatoes or tomatoes riding in a car though neighborhoods. The siren was to worn people to get away from them or they would kill you. I thought was from their car too and they were giving you a chance to live. But if you were out and about they would gun you down. I suppose I thought this because tornado, tomato, and potato all have "toe" sounds at the end.
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RIP my sides
 
When I was a kid first hearing the term “balls” I thought it was referring to breasts. I was a young girl and while I knew boys had something hanging down there I didn’t quite know that testicles were a thing. So the closest pair of round things I thought of were boobs.
 
I thought cars were telepathic so that's how they knew when to put the turn signals on.

Coffee Druid dijo:
When I was a kid first hearing the term “balls” I thought it was referring to breasts. I was a young girl and while I knew boys had something hanging down there I didn’t quite know that testicles were a thing. So the closest pair of round things I thought of were boobs.
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You're not entirely wrong. In Chinese, the word for "ball" (like the toy or shape) is also used to refer to boobs.
 
Since nobody in my extended family was religious, I used to think that our local xmas gift giver the baby jesus was this sorta cute pink colored hedgehog that brings gifts on its spines. Since the word is similar for the word for a hedgehog.

I wish I was right.
 
I remember watching the miracle worker in school and would laugh so hard, the librarian got mad and asked why i thought a deaf and blind girl was funny and i said "hellen keller is a stupid head, i learned to read when i was 3!"
Edit: I assumed she was just really dumb
 
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