Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

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When learning about sex in school nobody ever mentioned thrusting so I was pretty sure all you had to do was stick your dick in and wait.

I was confused years later when I discovered porn: "LOL WHY IS HE MOVING IT BACK AND FORTH LIKE THAT!?"
 
When I was little, I thought that since there was only one side of any map that it meant we had only explored one side of the Earth. I imagined that the "dark side" of the Earth was populated by monsters and dinosaurs and shit, and I was going to be one of the awesome, Indiana Jones-type people to explore it when I grew up.

My geography marks pretty much tanked after I learned the stupid, boring truth.
 
I thought college was mandatory, I thought you were forced to go to college after high school and it was just part of life and not something you paid for. I also thought ATMs gave out free money.
 
While playing with my Troll doll's hair, I wondered if they had used dyed black girl hair for the dolls. My reasoning was I would see all these black girls at school with hair perfectly done up in twists, but if I tried to twist my hair, it would unravel, so Troll doll hair must be natural black girl hair since it stays put when you styled it. :story:
 
I thought that having to escape quicksand and having to stop, drop and roll were going to be significantly more commonplace than they actually are.
 
I thought the sun and stars revolved around us.
I thought planes and anything that had smoke coming out of it made the clouds.
I genuinely thought adults could never puke for some reason.
 
Let's see...I thought it was wrong to have sex outside of marriage, I thought women wore high heels because they were practical and supportive and good for your feet, and I thought our basement in the house I grew up in was haunted by ghosts because every time I went down there I heard the noise of footsteps coming from some unknown source.

That source being the people upstairs, sure enough.
 
1) excuse me while I kiss this guy. (I'm not alone in this)
2) one of my friends who is an extremly sharp CPA, thought dolphin was tuna....because of the commericals...I bring it up to her all the time, cause I'm a ass and I like tuna.
 
Babies formed from a man poking his wife in the belly button. The only worked if they were husband and wife. I told my parents this was how my mom got pregnant with my sister. My mom laughed, my dad looked embarrassed and said, close enough.

Men have tails in the front, and women do not. I was three.

If you got a full body x-ray your skin would melt off like ice and your skeleton would be free. I got this idea for seeing a Ray Bradbury show about his short story skeleton. I was afraid to get x-rays for years after this.
 
My grandparents live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. One time my cousin convinced me that in the woods down the street there was a shack where a man named Jason lived and he murdered people.
I really believed that my grandparents lived down the street from Jason Voorhees.
 
I thought that once you got to middle school that teachers required you to do all your work in Spanish because middle school is hard and doing it in English would be too easy.

I thought Bill Cosby was the guy who sang White Christmas and "Bing Crosby" was just people poorly pronouncing his name.
 
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