Spunt's helpful guide to Britain for fat Americans - Learn about Anglos so you can hate them better

[Roast Chicken]

The traditional coping mechanism is alcoholism. Alternatively, you may also wish to try a life of crime or getting way too invested in a football team.

Or pissing your mediocre income away on lotto tickets/scratchcards/vapes

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

*Fun Gerry Adams fact: In the 80s, the Thatcher government passed a law banning all British broadcasters from broadcasting Gerry Adams' voice on TV or radio, showing that it wasn't just the Ulster factions who could be pointlessly petty. This backfired when broadcasters simply overdubbed his voice. The voice actors they used were generally articulate and charismatic, and this gave everyone the impression that Gerry Adams was some kind of master orator, and when the restrictions were lifted many were surprised to discover that he was just a hairy little terrorist with a reedy, petulant voice.

Quick necro to add on to this fun fact: the voice used to overdub Adams was Irish actor Stephen Rea, perhaps best known for 1992's IRA crime drama The Crying Game, in which (among other things) his character assaults, and later fucks, a tranny.

Rea was married for 30 year to Dolours Price, an IRA terrorist whose handiwork includes the car bombing of the Old Bailey courthouse in London, which injured over 200 people.

Rea would later be third-billed (after Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving) in 2005's V For Vendetta, a film about political terrorism in which the Old Bailey is blown up.

 

[AnOminous]

Rea would later be third-billed (after Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving) in 2005's V For Vendetta, a film about political terrorism in which the Old Bailey is blown up.

Ironically, he played the cop chasing V.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

Is that Feliz Navidad song being astroturfed for some reason? I swear I never heard that song in shops before yesterday and now I've heard two different versions on two consecutive days.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Is that Feliz Navidad song being astroturfed for some reason? I swear I never heard that song in shops before yesterday and now I've heard two different versions on two consecutive days.

We used to hear it all the time when I was a kid. My friends and I used to change the lyrics to "police shot my dog".

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Is that Feliz Navidad song being astroturfed for some reason? I swear I never heard that song in shops before yesterday and now I've heard two different versions on two consecutive days.

I've heard that since I was a kid. The OG version is from the late 70s iirc

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

We used to hear it all the time when I was a kid. My friends and I used to change the lyrics to "police shot my dog".

I always remember this version:

 

[GigglyBoo]

What a prescient and funny thread.

The last few weeks (and Elon Musk) have vindicated everything Spunt has written. It's been interesting to see the Mirpuri rape gang self defence force scrambling to disregard this enormity and institute another cover-up.

 

[Chaos Theorist]

I have an aside about accents that doesn't fit in the News Megathread, and this seems like the best thread to ask.

I grew up playing a particular F1 game on N64 and I always assumed the guy on the pit radio was Scottish. I watched a video recently where a guy tries to beat every N64 game and he called the guy Irish. I realized then that I don't actually know for sure. I thought I would put it to the people here and see what you think. Scottish or Irish (or neither)?

The voice clips start about 1 minute 20 seconds in if you don't want to wait.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2nHYrNAZZvE

Scottish
Sounds like Tennant

 

[Falcos_Commisar]

Found a nice thermonuclear black pill thread on X about the UK

https://x.com/kunley_drukpa/status/1888912740267262042?t=x9ihUN0msfaPieLJWuVgDA&s=19

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Found a nice thermonuclear black pill thread on X about the UK

https://x.com/kunley_drukpa/status/1888912740267262042?t=x9ihUN0msfaPieLJWuVgDA&s=19

Screencaps:

 

[Elysian]

Screencaps:
Ver archivo adjunto 6968232Ver archivo adjunto 6968240Ver archivo adjunto 6968242Ver archivo adjunto 6968249Ver archivo adjunto 6968255

I think the “shitbin” one is retarded because pedal bins like those are a staple in women’s bathrooms for the disposal of used feminine hygiene products and will continue to be there regardless of the ethnic makeup of the country. That said though, when I was at uni there were notes in the bathrooms imploring the foreign students not to put toilet paper in the pedal bins so I see where he’s coming from.

 

[Spunt]

An ex of mine was down on her luck for a bit and ended up in a shared house full of people from various places. There was this autistic Chinese guy who would shit, scoop it out of the bowl, wrap the turd in toilet paper, and put it in the bin. The smell was ungodly. Apparently that's normal in most of China because the plumbing and sewerage are so bad you can't actually shit in the toilet. It took a couple of weeks to find the phantom turd binner. Even the Pajeets were disgusted - you shit in the street, not in the bin!

 

[AdmiralRenae]

Welp, Shit. Looks like Britain has started accepting Palestinian refugees now.

Palestinian migrants have been granted the right to live in the UK after applying through a scheme meant for Ukrainian refugees.
A family of six seeking to flee Gaza have been allowed to join their brother in Britain after an immigration judge ruled that the Home Office’s rejection of their application breached their human rights.
The family had made their application through the Ukraine Family Scheme and the decision to accept their case came despite warnings by lawyers for the Home Office that it could open the floodgates to “the admission of all those in conflict zones with family in the UK”.

Chris Philp, the shadow home secretary, said the case showed changes to human rights laws were needed so that Parliament, not judges, controlled who could settle in the UK.
It is the latest in a series of controversial decisions by immigration tribunals, revealed by The Telegraph, which include the case of an Albanian criminal whose deportation was halted partly because of his young son’s aversion to foreign chicken nuggets.

LINK: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/02/11/court-gives-gazans-right-settle-uk-palestine-ukraine/

Non paywall version:

https://www.removepaywall.com/search?url=https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/02/11/court-gives-gazans-right-settle-uk-palestine-ukraine/

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Fucking hell, Trump's Gaza plan is looking more workable by the day. You can handle a couple million more violent Muslims who despise everything you stand for right? Thanks for being a team player.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Fucking hell, Trump's Gaza plan is looking more workable by the day.

His plan, such as it is, would have involved sending them to Egypt or some other middle eastern hellhole. This is entirely self-inflicted.

 

[Elysian]

Welp, Shit. Looks like Britain has started accepting Palestinian refugees now.

https://archive.is/8FL3Q


https://archive.is/Rh8xF

Same judge.

 

[Snekposter]

@Spunt you should probably give this game trailer a shout-out in your section on Birmingham so people don't get confused and think Birmingham is a nicer place than it actually is.

 

[GothicArchitectureEnjoyer]

@Spunt apologies for the necro - I meant to ask this ages ago, but since KF is off the UK net for the foreseeable future, now seems as good a time as any. This whole thread is wildly entertaining and informative, and I was wondering if you could provide any pointers or even a reading list for similar analysis of our wretched island? Obviously a fair amount of your writing comes from personal experience and I wouldn't ask you to go into detail on that, but any books, articles, documentaries etc. that you used for this thread would be appreciated, if convenient. Cheers!