Soyjak.Party / The Sharty - The altchan born from the ashes of /qa/; also a containment thread

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The Mighty Bundus dijo:
I watched Cado for the first time yesterday, he is a genius.
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>I JUST FUCKING POOPED
We start this post with a vividly illustrated scene of Cado's conundrum. Nikocado Avocado's pure anguish is expressed in just 4 powerful words, putting poets like Shakespeare to shame. All that time. All those mukbangs. All that sex with Orlin. His whole life led up to this one moment; shitting on his new boyfriends dick. He is fully aware that his asshole is ruined. This is the fate he chose. There is no turning back.
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I - Refers to himself, Nikocado Avocado.
JUST - This clarifies that the event took place very recently.
FUCKING - A swear word used by Nikocado Avocado to emphasize the exclamation we will get to later on.
POOPED - Here, Nikocado Avocado states the act he carried out.
>ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!!
The most important thing to realize about this quote is that it presupposes that the reader is familiar with the fact that Nikocado Avocado has a boyfriend, and an unstable relationship with him at that. In Nikocado Avocado's award-winning videos, the duo constantly fight, break up, and get back together. It was only soon that Nikocado would cheat on him for a better man.
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ON - Following "POOPED," this establishes the setting for where the pooping took place.
MY - Refers to something belonging to Nikocado Avocado.
NEW - This precedes "BOYFRIEND'S," indicating that his boyfriend is recent.
BOYFRIEND'S - Nikocado Avocado uses "BOYFRIEND'S" instead of "BOYFRIENDS" (as in the incorrect plural form), correctly showing possession of "DICK."
DICK - The location where the pooping occurred, as previously referenced.
>IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....
The dynamic between Nikocado and Orlin is further explored. Orlins dick is indirectly characterized as small, setting the prerequisite for Nikocado looking for a new boyfriend. In a Sophocles-esque twist, the dick is too large for Nikocado. He cannot take it anymore, and it tears open his anus. This would later go on to foreshadow his later shitscapades and eventually, his own demise.
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IT - Refers to either his new boyfriend's penis or Nikocado Avocado's poop.
WAS - Establishes the past state of his new boyfriend's penis or the past state of his poop.
TOO - Nikocado Avocado uses "TOO" instead of "SO," reinforcing excessiveness.
BIG - An adjective describing either his new boyfriend's penis or the poop that emerged from Nikocado Avocado's anus to be stationed on his new boyfriend's penis.
THAT - Establishes what his new boyfriend's penis did or what his poop did.
IT - Refers to either his new boyfriend's penis or his poop.
MADE - Indicates causation, showing the consequences of his new boyfriend's penis being too big or the poop being too large.
MUKBANG - A term originating from South Korea, referring to the act of consuming large quantities of food while broadcasting online. In this case, it represents the remnants of previous meals.
FOOD - The digested remains of his past gluttonous endeavors, now forced out of his body against his will.
COME - A verb indicating movement, highlighting the forceful expulsion of food remains.
OUT - Describes the direction of movement, confirming that the remnants exited his body involuntarily.
>Should I tell y'all the story in tonight's video and do you wanna see the poop?
Nikocado, seeking greater financial opportunities, wishes to monetize his own shit like a true businessman. Even with an estimated net worth of $4 Million, he ultimately desires more, revealing his gluttony in more aspects than one. He asks the viewers if they want to see the poop. This is actually a bold and highly-advanced incorporation of Fan Service, as since many Nikocado viewers have a feeder fetish, it is likely they also have a Fire Noodle fetish.
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I - Once again refers to Nikocado Avocado himself.
tell - A verb indicating his intent to narrate the story to his audience.
y'all - A colloquial contraction of "you all," referring to his audience.
the - A definite article specifying "story" as a singular, known entity.
story - The narrative of the events that transpired.
in - A preposition setting the time and place for the story to be told.
tonight's - A possessive form indicating that the video is scheduled for the same night.
video - The medium through which Nikocado Avocado communicates with his audience.
and - A conjunction linking two related ideas.
do - A helping verb used to form the question.
you - Directly addressing his audience.
wanna - A colloquial contraction of "want to," expressing desire.
see - A verb indicating the act of visual consumption.
the - A definite article specifying "poop" as a known entity.
poop - The central subject of Nikocado Avocado's predicament and a possible revenue-generating spectacle.
>I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.
One of the hallmark symptoms of heart failure and being a fatass includes shortness of breath and fatigue. The rot has already set in. His anorectal health would soon deteriorate further. There would be no end to the ass stinging. It will soon be over for him.
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I - Refers to Nikocado Avocado once again.
haven't - A contraction of "have not," indicating an action he has yet to complete.
cleaned - A past participle verb referring to the act of removing feces from an unspecified location.
it - Refers to either the poop or his new boyfriend's penis.
yet - A temporal adverb indicating that the action remains incomplete but may be done in the future.
cuz - A colloquial contraction of "because."
I - Again refers to Nikocado Avocado.
get - A verb indicating a change in state.
out - A preposition describing the movement or effect of his breath.
of - A preposition linking "breath" to the verb "get out."
breath - The function of respiration, now hindered by his declining physical health.
 
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