Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

[White Devil]

Goons have managed to basically fuck themselves for life if not kill themselves because of the drugs subforum (shoutout @HondaRider271 ) but one of them fucking wrecked himself for life by doing a keto diet. He was such a retard he'd eat shit like a full slab of bacon in butter every morning and be like THIS IS HEALTHY

Keto does work but it has to be applied selectively and short term only.

Though like someone else pointed out, goons have to do everything in excess.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

[insert photo of gray, butter slathered gross goon steaks here]

 

[Ghostse]

Keto does work but it has to be applied selectively and short term only.

Though like someone else pointed out, goons have to do everything in excess.

Keto works, and can be a lifestyle diet if your partner doesn't mind your breath smelling like literal paint thinner.

Keto usually results in a "I get to eat as much ice cream as I want!/Oh god I have to eat nothing but ice cream" problem for the eaters, since most marinades and sauces have too much sugar so you're just eating salt-and-pepper beef/chicken and plain steamed veggies lol nm forgot we were talking about goons.

After a few weeks of going nuts because they can eat as much steak as they want the average person gets completely burned out, especially as your taste receptors reconfigure as you body starts screaming "We have enough fucking protein. We want some goddamn carbs and fiber" .

The ones who keep it up usually end up just moderating total calories so they can have some carbs. Never point out to them they are just on a normal diet at that point though, they hate that.

Where the average non-goon Ketard falls over is sodium intake. Also drinking straight fiber - no flavor, no sweetners (those have carbs) just a delicious glass of pulp.

That one guy practically drinking bacon grease was a special case - and from Ketards I've talked to, they said he was likely cheating and doing what fucks up a lot of people who don't do research do: have a grease bacon breakfast with a glass of orange juice, which contains lots of sugar to ensure your body will scrape up as much of that grease as it can.

 

[JustSomeDong]

[insert photo of gray, butter slathered gross goon steaks here]

I hear this Null fella is some sort of steak expert...

 

[pwnest injun]

I'd have trouble believing this was real except it's a goon. Even some goon refugees have insane hangups like that.

Not even the sort of cancer that causes hyperproliferation of antibody-producing blood cells does what he's claiming. Then again, the antibodies produced by cancer wouldn't have the corresponding proteins to attach to. So, maybe it's not bullshit?

 

[Shaka Brah]

Not even the sort of cancer that causes hyperproliferation of antibody-producing blood cells does what he's claiming. Then again, the antibodies produced by cancer wouldn't have the corresponding proteins to attach to. So, maybe it's not bullshit?

The jab makes your own cells produce spike proteins that your body then attacks. If it were true that he did this, this dude would be having the most extensive autoimmune attack anyone could subject themselves to. All bets are off.

FWIW I still think it's fake. He'd have died of heart disease way before this if he really vaxmaxxed like that.

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

Keto diet works if you're diabetic. If not, then you're a galaxy-sized retard for going keto because humans evolved the ability to digest carbohydrates thousands of years ago and trying to be healthy by only eating fat and protein is like trying to become a bodybuilder by doing curls only.

 

[Sabrina]

Keto was actually developed for seizure disorders in children that are not responding to medication. For some reason this works, even though it's often a last resort but it can keep kids off of the more damaging drugs. Ketosis isn't really healthy for the body either, even if you eat veggies and fiber as part of the diet (which isn't impossible or difficult at all to do while sticking to the diet).

The main push for cannabis legalization is to open up areas of research into specific cannabinoids such as CBD to combat seizure disorders in children with less dangerous side effects of the current medications.

Of course every recreational smoker is going to back both medical and full legalization, but that's not actually the main goal. Being one of the highest classified illegal drug in the US has never stopped anyone from smoking as much as they could ever want. The idea is to pay taxes on cannabis to benefit local communities and open paths to medical research.

Tl;dr goons are retarded about everything and push to the extreme. I don't believe the post about 500 covid vaccines is real though. The keto stuff definitely was, if course they ate nothing but steak cooked in bacon grease

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

FWIW I still think it's fake. He'd have died of heart disease way before this if he really vaxmaxxed like that.

I mean

 

[Pissmaster]

Goons still insane. This is in the C-SPAM COVID thread.

Back in June, in another thread, I posted:

So how long until we see an episode of My Strange Addiction where some crazy fat lady is addicted to getting vaccines, and goes around to different clinics around the country lying about taking the vaccine so she can keep getting them over and over

Called it

And of course a goon ended up doing this. Of course. How did I not foresee that it'd be a goon to be the one to vaxxmax.

 

[ReformedGoon]

covid really is the perfect goon disease because it allows them to rationalize never going outside and acting like an offputting antisocial weirdo (wearing multiple respirators to go shopping) while at the same time having a "preexisting condition" (being 400lbs) and needing special treatment

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Goons have managed to basically fuck themselves for life if not kill themselves because of the drugs subforum (shoutout @HondaRider271 ) but one of them fucking wrecked himself for life by doing a keto diet. He was such a retard he'd eat shit like a full slab of bacon in butter every morning and be like THIS IS HEALTHY

I felt my heart stopping just from reading that. I know idiots existed in every online community, but what was it about SA that attracted the specific brand of idiot it did? The type to think they know everything, actually know nothing, and rush headlong into outlandish and self-destructive behavior.

 

[Ghostse]

I felt my heart stopping just from reading that. I know idiots existed in every online community, but what is it about SA that attracted the specific brand of idiot it did? The type to think they know everything, actually know nothing, and rush headlong into outlandish and self-destructive behavior.

Oh IWC left off the best part, which was not only would he eat like 4lbs of bacon every morning, he would then use the grease to fry eggs.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

Even more shameful use of eggs than when that dr faggot got clowned on by the smash mouth singer

 

[Ghostse]

Even more shameful use of eggs than when that dr faggot got clowned on by the smash mouth singer

And to be clear we're not talking about "draining the grease and using the still slick pan to make eggs", he was straight up poaching his eggs in a puddle of sizzling hot bacon lard.

 

[AnOminous]

I'd have trouble believing this was real except it's a goon. Even some goon refugees have insane hangups like that.

Pretty much this. My first thought was this is a reddit shitpost and then I realized it's actually from SA and a goon would actually do this.

Oh IWC left off the best part, which was not only would he eat like 4lbs of bacon every morning, he would then use the grease to fry eggs.

This is something to do every couple months, I don't mean the 4 pounds (4 fucking pounds?) of bacon thing, but the frying eggs in all of the grease thing, instead of saving it and frying on the light coating of grease in the cast iron skillet. If you're going to eat a horrifyingly greasy meal, breakfast is the right time because you burn it as the day goes along and you can skip lunch to make up for it.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Pretty much this. My first thought was this is a reddit shitpost and then I realized it's actually from SA and a goon would actually do this.

This is something to do every couple months, I don't mean the 4 pounds (4 fucking pounds?) of bacon thing, but the frying eggs in all of the grease thing, instead of saving it and frying on the light coating of grease in the cast iron skillet. If you're going to eat a horrifyingly greasy meal, breakfast is the right time because you burn it as the day goes along and you can skip lunch to make up for it.

Being a goon, I'm going to just assume he scrambled them in the bacon grease. You know, to ensure each eggy molecule was sufficiently coated in melted swine.

 

[Kwopsie Peepsie]

Anyone remember the name of the bacon grease goon?

 

[JohnDoe]

This is something to do every couple months, I don't mean the 4 pounds (4 fucking pounds?) of bacon thing, but the frying eggs in all of the grease thing, instead of saving it and frying on the light coating of grease in the cast iron skillet.

The classic move is to make the bacon, fry the eggs, then do the hash browns all in the same skillet. This is obviously done before a long day shoveling snow or clearing timber or something, of course. You've got to burn all that off somehow.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

I got you.

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IIRC he found a bunch of steaks on sale and then drenched them in butter.

Profound depression on a plate.

[insert photo of gray, butter slathered gross goon steaks here]

I had forgotten that in addition to being gray and doused in butter, they were cooked to a level of doneness best described as ‘Jack Scalfani’.

Fucking goons.