About the suggestion that we give her until summer to do something interesting: even if she does, her antics are honestly few and far between. She’s made front page for being diagnosed with pussy cancer and for sending awful voicemails to Becky’s (equally awful) mom, but the novelty of even those instances lasted only a few weeks as she is so lazy and indignant that she shuts down whenever there is real milk to be shared. Boardworthy lolcows by nature overshare and chimp out under criticism, which ALR does, but not of enough substance for a whole board.
Let’s face it, she’s washed up. Back when she was with Dusty and she was fit enough to leave the house, things were a lot more interesting. She would say raunchy shit, hobble around the whole town, and her orbiters were a much funnier cast as well. Now she is practically alone, housebound and engaged to a blob, and in all likelihood will remain that way until she croaks. The only interesting things that happen in the Hambosphere now happen to the Hambo—she narcs out outrageously enough to be worth a thread but most cows worth a board earned them by their crazy own actions. Look at Chinny: that’s prime cow material. Delusional, attention-starved and responds to criticism by chimping out harder. We’ve got a half-ton junkie on our hands waving her scantily clad fupa at us and we’re still making threads for Amber literally every time she makes a sandwich. It’s time to move on, Kiwis. It’s time to move on.