Shitty Etsy Products

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I decided to look up "Tantra" on etsy since I had a feeling it would yield some crazy stuff and I was right!

tantra shit.jpg tantra shit 2.jpg tantra shit 3.jpg tantra shit 5.jpg

homemade boner pills

tantra shit 4.jpg

Also, as a bonus, I found this rainbow crystal dildo that is supposed to represent the seven chakras

seven chakra dildo.jpg
 
I decided to look up "Tantra" on etsy since I had a feeling it would yield some crazy stuff and I was right!

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homemade boner pills

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Also, as a bonus, I found this rainbow crystal dildo that is supposed to represent the seven chakras

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Ok, the chakra dildo made me laugh for some weird reason.
From green down it looks like it's full of cut veggies.
Cucumber, corn, red pepper, chili pepper.
 
From green down it looks like it's full of cut veggies.
Cucumber, corn, red pepper, chili pepper.
Oh my gosh, it really does! I can't unsee now.

Anyways, there is more crystal dildo errrr... ahem.... yoni wands.... keep in mind that crystals are typically very porous so they can and will accumulate and harbor bacteria in their tiny pores and cause infections therefore are not safe for vaginal (and especially not anal errrrr... root chakra use due to having nothing to anchor it out of your ass)

crystal dildo.jpg crystal dildo 3.jpg crystal dildo 4.jpg

And here are the descriptions for these dildos:

dildo description.png dildo description 2.png dildo description 3.png
 
Oh my gosh, it really does! I can't unsee now.

Anyways, there is more crystal dildo errrr... ahem.... yoni wands.... keep in mind that crystals are typically very porous so they can and will accumulate and harbor bacteria in their tiny pores and cause infections therefore are not safe for vaginal (and especially not anal errrrr... root chakra use due to having nothing to anchor it out of your ass)

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And here are the descriptions for these dildos:

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Yeah the "crystal in vagina" thing has been going on forever and it sounds pretty dangerous. Remeber when Gwyneth Paltrow was selling 60 dollar crystal eggs you had to put in there to increase "sexual energies"?
 
is that glass? and if so, could it break apart inside like one man one jar
If it is solid borosilicate glass then no. If it is hollow like that jar in one man one jar, then yes, it can break. From what I can tell though it looks solid, not that you would want to use it.
 
You buy a friend a suncatcher on Black Friday and suddenly Etsy thinks you're into crystals, so I made this collage from the first three pages of "metaphysical crystals".
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You buy a friend a suncatcher on Black Friday and suddenly Etsy thinks you're into crystals, so I made this collage from the first three pages of "metaphysical crystals".
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One time I tried to see if anyone was actually selling a "sphinx of black quartz" and my recommendations have never been the same.

Everything's gotta have a dick, I swear.
 
One time I tried to see if anyone was actually selling a "sphinx of black quartz" and my recommendations have never been the same.

Everything's gotta have a dick, I swear.
I know, right? When I have to search crap on Etsy, I have to filter out "NSFW" and other rude keywords or I'm bombarded with weed, dicks, pussy and queer crap.
 
I know, right? When I have to search crap on Etsy, I have to filter out "NSFW" and other rude keywords or I'm bombarded with weed, dicks, pussy and queer crap.
Etsy has an atrocious search engine. Not sure if it's honest incompetence or trying to sneak in more pageviews.
 

This one does the s&m rats


Here's some more

These are funny. Is that weird?


Oh, I can actually explain these. Here in Canada (since your search is in Canada), brass knuckles are illegal, but plastic knuckles aren't (because that makes sense?) You can get into some legal trouble carrying around things that resemble brass knuckles but keychains where you put your fingers through the eyes and the ears are the spikes are legal.

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It's a weird little legal loophole and objectively cuter than carrying around ugly ass "brass" knuckles.
About fifteen years ago, I actually bought a monkey fist off of Etsy for that exact reason. I lived in a city and it was something I could carry around without worrying. Apparently it's illegal to even carry bear spray, but when I worked in a seedy area I always had both on me

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