💼 Careercow SHiFT / @shiftposting - Angriest speedrunner on earth. 20,000 hours spent playing one SpongeBob game. Frequently rages until his voice gets blown out.

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    🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
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Ngl my prediction is this new guy stars stays in the bfbb speedrun sphere for a while but leave and shift feel like he have to come back to keep his baby alive again.

Pretty much shift just getting a long vacation.
 
Star had his first sniff of WR potential 3 days ago, however he titled the fuck out and later killed the run after failing a frame perfect 3 times in a row. No crazy freakouts, but he does get decently mad.
Star's already been running the game for 4 years. I wonder if he can make the next 6.
 
IDK why but I really like how the denizens of Kiwi Farms treat SHiFT like he's some kind of strange autist who has been cursed to speedrun Spongebob games forever
That's how SHiFT protrays himself, especially in his mental breakdown from a few days ago. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he would've continued speedrunning for a few more years if the bones in his hands weren't turning into ash.
 
IDK why but I really like how the denizens of Kiwi Farms treat SHiFT like he's some kind of strange autist who has been cursed to speedrun Spongebob games forever rather than a random weirdo that could stop at any time
It's just funnier that way. I'd rather read about "the curse of BfBB" than a bunch of armchair psychologists speculating about his mental state.
 
IDK why but I really like how the denizens of Kiwi Farms treat SHiFT like he's some kind of strange autist who has been cursed to speedrun Spongebob games forever rather than a random weirdo that could stop at any time
Agency is real, and important, but at a certain point you have to make peace with the fact that sometimes men are compelled by forces greater than them to do something really fucking stupid and to not stop doing it until it kills them. Such a man cannot 'stop at any time'. It is not in his nature. He could no more stop playing Bob than you or I could kill our own children—to do so would be an act completely antithetical to our natures. He truly was cursed. Maybe is cursed still. And it's very funny.
 
This is absolutely feature-worthy because how the fuck is this possible? How is it possible to get addicted to a Spongebob game? I can understand alcohol, cigarettes, porn, but this... There are many better games dude.

This guy sounds eloquent too. Clearly structured sentences, no filler words, that's way better than your average lolcow. He is clearly an intelligent man. Every speedrunner is a repressed smart guy who is fed into the machine and forced to destroy themselves for attention. They avoid making effort to be a good man and a good husband. They hit their head on the wall for 10 years and think that makes them leagues above others, but when the illusion falls apart and they're one-on-one with the mirror, they will commit suicide.
I bet MK Ultra or Israel had something to do with it.
 
I can understand video games. I can understand trying to be good at video games, its just a natural human urge to be good at things. I can even understand speedrunning, there is just something in perfectly solving a game, like a difficult equation, combined with dexterity and knowledge how the game works. I can see how people find it entertaining. I can even see it being a hobby, something to piss away your free time on and streaming it for a bit of beer money. After all, there are people wasting their lives on grinding games in League of Legends or WoW or doomscrolling social media which is just as not if not more worse.

What I don't get is how can you get so autistically hyperfixated on a single game, and not even in the funny eight alternate universes half button press way, but literally spending thousands of hours on it. A thousand hours spent on a thing, be it shooting, wood carving, "rizzing up stacies" as the kids call it, playing an instrument or just a work related skill would have made you experienced. Five thousand hours would have made you an expert. If he had picked up a guitar and just had a statistical average of talent, he would be good enough to play in a band now. If he put that time in flight simulators and actual flying after getting his loicese, he would be an experienced pilot by now. Its insane how much time and potential people have and waste it on playing fucking spongebob.
 
What I don't get is how can you get so autistically hyperfixated on a single game, and not even in the funny eight alternate universes half button press way, but literally spending thousands of hours on it.
I think it was good old Adam White, but he had a breakdown because he fucked up a speed run tactic and starts genuinely tweaking about how he just wants to be good at something.
 
I can understand video games. I can understand trying to be good at video games, its just a natural human urge to be good at things. I can even understand speedrunning, there is just something in perfectly solving a game, like a difficult equation, combined with dexterity and knowledge how the game works. I can see how people find it entertaining. I can even see it being a hobby, something to piss away your free time on and streaming it for a bit of beer money. After all, there are people wasting their lives on grinding games in League of Legends or WoW or doomscrolling social media which is just as not if not more worse.

What I don't get is how can you get so autistically hyperfixated on a single game, and not even in the funny eight alternate universes half button press way, but literally spending thousands of hours on it. A thousand hours spent on a thing, be it shooting, wood carving, "rizzing up stacies" as the kids call it, playing an instrument or just a work related skill would have made you experienced. Five thousand hours would have made you an expert. If he had picked up a guitar and just had a statistical average of talent, he would be good enough to play in a band now. If he put that time in flight simulators and actual flying after getting his loicese, he would be an experienced pilot by now. Its insane how much time and potential people have and waste it on playing fucking spongebob.
restricted interests are one of the main indicators of autism
 
SHiFT has returned to Battle for bikini bottom after only one week, feature worthy?
shift bfbb.JPG
 
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