Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Zora Is My Man]

When I was in high school, I was walking down a hallway when I came across a group of students watching a fight between two male students. One of the guys in the fight had a cast on his arm and used it to bash into the other guy’s face ultimately breaking his nose. There was a good amount of blood. Two deans came in to break up the fight. It was very entertaining.

 

[Grinrow]

A severely autistic kid was getting escorted out of class and was getting really pissed off with the tard guard so out of spite or to get a reaction from the tard guard he pulled his pants down and tried to jack himself off.

 

[tasty humane burger]

I remember once two kids with serious learning difficulties who were located in the 'special class' (unsure what was wrong with them but both looked special and were treated like they were 5) had a fist fight over the down syndrome girl who was two timing them. One was also dating this seriously autistic girl who I remember going on play dates with when I was about 4 and I thought she was the coolest kid ever because she was non-verbal. This was in high school and they were all around 13-15. Absolute comedy gold.

(the down syndrome girl was actually an absolute riot and constantly sassed out teachers as well, she could have done so much better than her two loverboys)

 

[MysticMisty]

So, one day in third grade the mainstreamed autistic kid in my class goes to the bathroom. He'll be Jim. Jim was about the same amount of functioning as Barry, but probably still can't pass as normal. Anyways, this wouldn't be out of the ordinary, but Jim's in there for an unusually long time. I'd say a good ten minutes passed before one of my other classmates stood up and waited outside the bathroom door. A few minutes later another one stands up and gets in line behind the other kid. Then another. A couple more kids get in line before I stand up and get in line because it's getting to the point where I'll need to go soon and don't want to wait forever to do so. Two or three more kids get up and stand behind me almost immediately.

At this point our teacher notices a third of the class is waiting for the bathroom to open up. She walks over and knocks on the door.

"Jim, is everything alright in there?"

"Yes," Jim replies rather happily.

"Then you need to come out now, you're holding up the bathroom for everyone else," she tells Jim sternly.

"Okay," Jim says and walks out of the bathroom. A massive cloud of stink blows out with him. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so smug and proud about whatever the hell he'd been doing in there. I couldn't see inside the bathroom from where I stood (just smelled it), but the but the first kid in line sure did. Horrified, he called our teacher back over to the bathroom. She took one look inside, gasped, and shut the door.

Our teacher announces to the whole class we'll be taking a ten minute break for everyone to use the hall bathrooms, before pressing the intercom button to request the janitor to clean the bathroom ASAP. As I walk past her out of the room she's glaring at Jim, who is still looking smug and proud about what horribly, smelly mess he made in there. I'm slightly disturbed and consider asking the classmate at the head of the line just what was in that bathroom, but ultimately I didn't, I was more concerned about using the bathroom and lost the opportunity. I suspect there was shit (presumably diarrhea given the smell) outside of the toilet because Jim had a genuine disgusting personality.

How do I know this? One day the cafeteria served their nasty soup for lunch. Yeah it was more edible than their horrible cardboard and ketchup "pizzas" and awful cheeseburgers, but considering they couldn't even serve tater tots decently that's not exactly a high bar.

Anyways, soup day. Jim joins the class at one of our designated tables (at my school(s) classes were assigned two tables at the start of the year and we were forbidden from sitting at other tables or even talking to other tables, except for being made to sit at the bad table as punishment). At this point he stuffs the aforementioned tater tots into his soup. Then he opens his carton of chocolate milk, holds it over the soup, and pauses. He's got that same smug, proud look on his face again. Everyone begs for him not to do it, even the boys. Jim ignores everyone and dumps it right in, his smile gets even bigger if you can believe it.

One of the lunch monitors patrolling the lunch room sees him, walks over, and does the worst fucking thing: tells him he needs to eat his soup now no matter what.

"Yes ma'am. I love my soup like this, it's better this way," Jim tells her happily. She ignores what he's saying to make sure he starts eating it before continuing on her lunch room patrol.

As you can imagine the rest of us are utterly horrified. Yes, even the boys. To be fair cold chocolate milk in hot soup really is an absolutely disgusting concept. Jim did, in fact, eat the whole thing. Kept talking about how delicious it was since he "improved" on it. And this wasn't a one time thing, either. Every time soup was served that year he did it every. Single. Time.

The expression he had every time he did shit like that is burned into my memory because that was the exact face he was making in his school photo, which I have because that's how my district did class photo for Elementary school. It works for whenever I told the soup and bathroom stories to friends though because I could just whip out the sheet, point to him, and tell them "That face!"

 

[︈︈︈]

When I took compsci in highschool, the old computer teacher had just gotten fired (it was something about his daughter and security camera film? I don't know the specifics) so they quickly hired some new teach to replace him like two weeks before school started. He was really young, I think in his 20s, people always mistook him for a student, and during the first week it became obvious that he was a "beta male".

The new teacher was a really weird and honestly kinda autistic dude, I guess. When he saw me watching that 'Watch for Rolling Rocks' Mario64 video in class he got excited and started sperging about the game and stuff. He showed up for Halloween in full Attack on Titan cosplay. Along with his youngness, it kinda painted a target on his back.

So the class was divided into two groups I'll call nerds and memelords, and the memelords all almost failed the class because they were too busy harassing the teacher to learn anything. Stuff like jacking his pc using a wireless usb mouse/keyboard, loudly interrupting to ask dumb questions, playing hentai on the computers and etc. Dude was all soy and no spine, so he couldn't actually make them stop. Since he had his real name on one of his accounts and used the same username for everything, the memelords quickly caught on and found tons of new material to bother him with like his deviantart and reddit account.

He didn't come back for a second year. I could probably check his vlog to see if he's still autistic as hell.

 

[madethistocomment]

There was a group of emo freshmen in my school who always formed a giant-ass cluster by their lockers and would take up about half of the main hallway, causing a massive bottleneck. If you shoved through their little group they'd stare at you all offended like you were the asshole for wanting to get to class on time. It really made all of the upperclassmen, yours truly included, feel the urge to beat them senseless with our water bottles.

This same group just got weirder as the school year went on. They all wore dog collars. Not the trendy tumblr bullshit sort of collars, no. Big, black, straight-out-of-Petco dog collars. This, combined with how all of them seemed to pretend they were wolves (they'd paw at each other and make weird dog noises) earned them the collective nickname of "Wolfgang." Creative, I know. Like dogs, they also seemed to share a collective fear of bathing, since they all had greasy-ass, ratty hair. Some of those kids' hair was so bad that you just wanted to get into a hazmat suit and buzzcut it all off to put it out of its misery.

One of the girls (who was the girlfriend of the columbine-looking fucker who was their de-facto "leader") had the most freakishly long neck I've ever seen on a human being. Me and my friends joked that it was because she wore the collar too often and ended up like those ladies in Asia who lengthen their necks with those ring thingies. She and the leader would often grossly make out in front of their lockers, much to the detriment of anyone unfortunate enough to walk past them in the act.

I sometimes wonder if they were a little cult or something. The collective collar-wearing and their reverence towards the leader kid always wigged me and my friends out.

 

[Big Nasty]

There was a group of emo freshmen in my school who always formed a giant-ass cluster by their lockers and would take up about half of the main hallway, causing a massive bottleneck. If you shoved through their little group they'd stare at you all offended like you were the asshole for wanting to get to class on time. It really made all of the upperclassmen, yours truly included, feel the urge to beat them senseless with our water bottles.

This same group just got weirder as the school year went on. They all wore dog collars. Not the trendy tumblr bullshit sort of collars, no. Big, black, straight-out-of-Petco dog collars. This, combined with how all of them seemed to pretend they were wolves (they'd paw at each other and make weird dog noises) earned them the collective nickname of "Wolfgang." Creative, I know. Like dogs, they also seemed to share a collective fear of bathing, since they all had greasy-ass, ratty hair. Some of those kids' hair was so bad that you just wanted to get into a hazmat suit and buzzcut it all off to put it out of its misery.

One of the girls (who was the girlfriend of the columbine-looking fucker who was their de-facto "leader") had the most freakishly long neck I've ever seen on a human being. Me and my friends joked that it was because she wore the collar too often and ended up like those ladies in Asia who lengthen their necks with those ring thingies. She and the leader would often grossly make out in front of their lockers, much to the detriment of anyone unfortunate enough to walk past them in the act.

I sometimes wonder if they were a little cult or something. The collective collar-wearing and their reverence towards the leader kid always wigged me and my friends out.

Fucking BDSM furries.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

My high school became kind of infamous in the early 90s because of a pep rally where the cheerleaders sat on blocks of dry ice for a contest. They had to have skin grafts. The story got passed around other schools as an urban legend but we were the school where it actually happened.

 

[WoodlumHax]

After the Harambe incident a few years ago, my high school had a big football game, whole place was packed. It started pouring, and the game was paused while everyone waited for the rain to stop. During the break, some guy runs onto the field dressed as a gorilla and starts dragging another guy around the field. I remember one news outlet calling us "the dumbest town in America" or something like that.

 

[stinky lush bath soap]

Once our primary (elementary) school was shut for about a month due to no running water, after a week we all got sent to a neighbouring school. Our school was pretty small so the year groups were paired, year 1 and 2 were together and so on but this school separated us into year groups. I was in my final year and thoroughly enjoyed meeting kids I would be educated alongside at 'big school' in a couple of months but not everyone had that reaction.

We had P.E (gym) late in the afternoon and were permitted to go home in our kits. Halfway through the P.E session, this girl started to get really stroppy and upset and burst out crying because she missed our school and being in class with friends and she really didn't want to go to secondary school. She got took away by one of the teachers to calm down and spent the rest of the lesson sitting on the grass as the rest of us played rounders. I distinctly remember her fiddling with a loose skipping rope nobody packed away after lunch. When school finished and we waited for our parents to pick us up, the girl tied the skipping rope to a tree and made a big scene about how she was going to hang herself because she hated everything. I don't remember if a teacher was called to make her stop or if her parents simply arrived to take her home but clearly she didn't die that afternoon.

Sadly, she moved away that summer, which in hindsight could have explained her incredibly irrational behaviour and resistance to change but at the time everyone who grasped the concept of what she was trying to do found it hilarious. I don't remember her being particularly weird before that point although I do remember she did taekwondo and was obsessed with talking about it.

 

[Coldgrip]

My high school became kind of infamous in the early 90s because of a pep rally where the cheerleaders sat on blocks of dry ice for a contest. They had to have skin grafts. The story got passed around other schools as an urban legend but we were the school where it actually happened.

I think I read about that in one of the Darwin Award books.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

I think I read about that in one of the Darwin Award books.

It's possible, I had a book called "Dumb Dumber and Dumbest" or something like that that also mentioned it.

 

[madethistocomment]

My high school became kind of infamous in the early 90s because of a pep rally where the cheerleaders sat on blocks of dry ice for a contest. They had to have skin grafts. The story got passed around other schools as an urban legend but we were the school where it actually happened.

Congrats, your high school made it into a published science textbook.

Chegg.com

Answer to A group of high school cheerleaders decides to raise travel funds by selling tickets to a contest in which the....

www.chegg.com

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

My high school became kind of infamous in the early 90s because of a pep rally where the cheerleaders sat on blocks of dry ice for a contest. They had to have skin grafts. The story got passed around other schools as an urban legend but we were the school where it actually happened.

It's possible, I had a book called "Dumb Dumber and Dumbest" or something like that that also mentioned it.

Congrats, your high school made it into a published science textbook.

Chegg.com

Answer to A group of high school cheerleaders decides to raise travel funds by selling tickets to a contest in which the....

www.chegg.com

Sorry for going on tangent, but I like when some weird shit gets mentioned online, and then a random american is like "Oh, that happened to that fag Trockmorton I went to college with, he died last year".

---
Also, that school I had my last years in was known around the area as "race war" (and variations of) school, and I am still not over that.

 

[The Great Citracett]

A teacher, I think in middle school, probably around 8th grade told my class that we actually have no idea what we really look like.

As in, if you ran into your exact identical double, you'd have no idea they looked anything like you, and you'd never recognize them as yourself.

She said this is because we only ever see ourselves in mirrors, which are reversed. If you flipped the mirror image horizontally, you wouldn't know who you were looking at.

It was seriously as though she'd never heard of pictures, video, etc before. And she was very adamant she was right.

For example, here's our old pal CWC:


WHOA WHO THE FUCK IS THIS OH MY GOD!

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

A teacher, I think in middle school, probably around 8th grade told my class that we actually have no idea what we really look like.

As in, if you ran into your exact identical double, you'd have no idea they looked anything like you, and you'd never recognize them as yourself.

She said this is because we only ever see ourselves in mirrors, which are reversed. If you flipped the mirror image horizontally, you wouldn't know who you were looking at.

It was seriously as though she'd never heard of pictures, video, etc before. And she was very adamant she was right.

For example, here's our old pal CWC:
Ver archivo adjunto 991838

WHOA WHO THE FUCK IS THIS OH MY GOD!
Ver archivo adjunto 991839

Identical twins: Are we a joke to you?

 

[fanta c]

In my third year of high school, a new kid joined who coined the unfortunate nickname of “Fish”. Primarily because she smelt like a fish. I don’t think she was necessarily poor, just didn’t take an interest in her own personal hygiene. She enjoyed bullying our classmates and garnered a negative reputation.

I was in class with her one day and she started hurling abuse at me randomly (I /was/ an emo kid). In my thirteen year old bravado, I told her to shut up and she said she’d beat me up after class. (The teacher was completely useless and acted as though our exchange hadn’t happened). So, the bell rings and I head out to the playground, worrying; Fish is hot on my heels. I’m stopped out of nowhere by our headmaster who asks me what’s going on. He was a very strange man and used to carry an open pink umbrella with him constantly, even when it wasn’t raining, inside and outside of school. I reply indifferently to him that everything’s fine, but Fish caught sight of the headmaster and bailed.

Fish ended up getting expelled a few months later for her (ongoing) bullying behaviour, and the headmaster was found out for embezzling a ton of school funds into his personal bank account, but he paid the school governors off and took an early retirement.

 

[No Exit]

Might aswell share the first time I got turned down (and by a girl I didn't even like)

So there was this one girl in our group of friends and she had bugged me the entire day asking me who in our class I like. The thing is though; I didn't like anyone at that time I just wanted to do my own thing and not be in one of those very needy relationship people that age tend to be in. Of course when I said this she didn't believe me and kept bugging me.
Eventually I figured I had to mention someone or else she would keep doing it tomorrow aswell, this was 4-5 hours into bugging me over and over.

So like an autist I make it weird between our group when I said "you". My thought process were "I didn't want to bug anyone else or start any rumors so I thought if I just said her she would just shut up about it and just not mention it anymore and that includes to others, the group and me. I was wrong.

Anyway after I said this she said "I like you as a friend etc"
Either way it ended up being kinda weird in our group because she mentioned it and eventually we split up and we all got new groups.

Anyway, I hope I at-least made her day or helped her self-esteem. That's the only positive I can tell from my bad choice.

And in hindsight what if she had said yes, then I would end up in the very situation I wanted to avoid.

I had an experience similar to this. I got approached by a girl in my grade 5 class who asked me if I liked her. I'm not sure where she got the idea but I had a crush on the girl who sat beside her so maybe I looked over there often and she thought I was looking at her? I dunno.
I didn't want to be mean and also just assumed maybe she had a thing for me so I just said yes and she asked me if I wanted to go out. I said yes and then we didn't really talk after. Broke up next recess so I didn't even know what was going on or why.
I did get to dance with my crush though later that year at a party and my friends teased me for having my hands a little too low instead of on her hips. In my defense I had never danced with anyone before.

In grade 7 I went to school with my cousin who was a big PC gamer. We used to play an imaginary turn-based mech-assault game at recess where we would pretend to be the robots and stuff. Seems really autistic in hindsight and we were too old to play pretend but I remember really enjoying the games so I don't regret it too much.
I was also the "recorder kid" that year so it was a pretty autistic year in general. I wish I didn't grow up poor and that my parents bought me a real instrument.

 

[vertexwindi]

I'm surprised I never told the story of some of the teachers I've had.

Had a shop teacher in eighth grade, friendly, short chubby balding guy with a heavy Arabic accent. One day he didn't show up for class and a few months later they got us a new shop teacher. Turns out he got arrested for stabbing his wife. I read the news article at the time, but can't find it anymore.

Had a physics teacher that same year who was rumored to be a pedophile. He looked the part with his unkempt hair and beard that always had food crumbs in it, and would always pay a lot of attention to the girls in class and stand very close to them. Nothing was ever confirmed but he was let go the next year.

Had a French teacher in ninth grade who was outed on TV by some of his students. His family apparently didn't know he was gay. He took an entire year off to deal.

 

[Pargon]

There was this dude in high school that hung out with me and my group of friends on a semi-regular basis. I think he did so out of the absence of any other friends despite the fact that we were social poison because we were a bunch of video game and anime dweebs before either of those were considered acceptable interests.

He was stocky, red-faced from rosacea, not particularly bright, didn't play sports or go to any extracurriculars...just a bloke and a bit of a dim bulb. He had his eye pretty obviously on another person who hung out with us, a girl who had the biggest chest in our graduating class. He never said a word about it until one day he wrote some idiot letter confessing his feelings and saying her boyfriend only wanted her for her tits and left it for her in her locker.

...except her boyfriend was just about the furthest thing from your typical Chad Alpha Shitstain you could get. He was a linebacker for the football team, sure, but he also wound up graduating salutatorian and getting into an ivy league school's music program because he'd been studying the violin since he was an embryo. He was popular and well-liked, even by our group of gremlins, with whom he occasionally hung out because his girlfriend did.

So naturally it took about five seconds before the whole school knew about this proto-fedora tipper and absolutely everyone was laughing at him because Boyfriend was the better man by several thousand degrees and also A-DOYYYYY of course he was interested in Chesty LaRue's bosom because even back then a big tiddy nerd waifu was what we all wanted even if that hadn't entered the zeitgeist yet. This culminated in Our Hero spreading the rumor that Boyfriend would have to fight, physically, for Hootie McBoob's honor and that he'd be waiting in the parking lot after school.

If you think you know where the rest of this story is going, you're probably right. Boyfriend showed up, very clearly ready to talk things out, and the ruddy-cheeked suitor was a no-show. The guy took an emotional beating every single day for the rest of the year. His only reprieve was that we were seniors so we all graduated shortly thereafter and he was able to slink away to college where no one knew of his eternal shame.

It's always funny when you look back and realize that things like incels and lolcows have always been a thing. We just have different names for them now.