I can promise you, more people in this thread than you realize also have, and are still functioning members of society. Being abused isn't your fault, but taking responsibility for an illness is. It sucks, it doesn't feel fair, but nobody is going to feel sorry for you when we have other people with the same issues as you, who are managing much better.
People have stated it over and over but I'll lay it as clear as fucking possible. What you pulled wasn't only an oopsie doodles, nobody here is ever going to take you seriously again. And THAT is also your fault.