random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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"You are an ass. Plain and simple. I'm an ass too, but I'm a different kind of ass. You are a jerkass and I'm a wise ass. Use your greaterest intelligence and figure out the difference."

-Saint to Cowlick



"Are... Are YOU the horse taking off your pants? Jesus Christ, TJ. Get off that crack."

-SCRuler to Cowlick



"TJ... Horses don't wear pants."

-TM Ambrose to Cowlick
 
"I have taken six so far during various hunts. It needs to be done under right circumstances, but what matters even more is your mindset. You must understand that you are a warrior and your penis a weapon. You don't want to waste your sword hitting a tree. Hence you must never masturbate."
-Holden
The last three are the best.
 
"I lost my chance at losing my virginity thanks to this album."

From this review of Absence by Dälek:
I lost my chance at losing my virginity thanks to this album. One day on my way back from school on the bus, there was this really cute girl sitting close to me. The awesome thing was, when she first saw me, she couldn't stop staring at me. At first I just thought she was just looking at something/someone else, but at one point when I looked at her, she smiled! I was just like OH DAMN! :biggrin:. Anyways, this was during the time I listened to "A Beast Caged", the 5th song in this album. You know near the end of the song where it's just super loud noise? Well, my headphones have horrible noise cancellation, and when you listen to this album, you gotta listen to it LOUD. I then saw that she was hearing what I was listening to, this loud, harsh noise. She then looked at me, made a weird kind of face that was like "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" and then sat further away from me. Ah well, I still listen to this album on the bus, but I really felt like downrating this album that day.
 
Kusottare dijo:
All the comments on these things are golden.

KuEHGX1.png
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Good job guys. You were all so busy karate fighting that you left Jesus escape.

PSA: Senpai will never notice you.

Yes, but is it art?

So as not to disappoint her, I took her from behind while aggressively whispering phrases like "The train leaves in twenty minutes" and "How much is this bread? I'd like two loaves of this bread" in her ear while she begged for me not to stop.

Aww! She doesn't look 18! ❤

I hate to be "that" guy, but your math is off because Sasha Gray mostly does facials.

Black people become gay in the presence of ziploc bags.
 
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