random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Angry New Ager]

I swear, finding out the actual sources of food and shelter in the troon-o-sphere is like being an accountant for Enron

 

[Rumpled Foreskin]

@Lipitor:goddamnit i farted in the kitchen and thought i was spraying air freshner around to cover it up... turns out i was spraying PAM

 

[Pepito The Cat]

 

[Nisse Hult]

What is My Favorite Sandwich At McDonald's?
○ Double Cheeseburger
○ quaterpoun there with chesse
○ nigger balls

from https://kiwifarms.net/posts/3595097

 

[Army Burger]

"Stay out of the cougar's habitat."

"No."

 

[Nisse Hult]

I'm back, missed my waifu, stupid feds didn't even find my back up HD, #YOLO #SWAG #WAIFU #ANIMEPUSSY

Source: https://twitter.com/madthad0890/status/334900242447204353

 

[419]

 

[AnOminous]

"The judge laughed at Greer. The judge rolled his eyes at Greer."

 

[Irwin M. Felcher]

cumstain concieved butter knife abortions that continue to draw breathe and plague society.

Found this line in an old text file in my Documents folder. And that's all I know about it.

 

[Rumpled Foreskin]

Ver archivo adjunto 543902

 

[vertexwindi]

“They remain muppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

 

[Nisse Hult]

"But I'm totally against killing for sex. I only do it with Road kill."

https://kiwifarms.net/goto/post?id=3776642#post-3776642

 

[WeeGee]

"KeeWeeGee can go die in a fucking fire for selling me out to KiwiFarms. Go masturbate to your own parents porn, fucking faggot"
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdTSAwGQyy8knyvQG5lJw4w/about (http://archive.is/2MFX0#50%)

This person had a recent interaction with me after I called him a dumbass months ago for A-Logging a lolcow lol.

 

[H4nzn0]

Oh no, I just wanna watch some sonicu porn

On the topic of viewing "questionable files"

 

[Raging Capybara]

I don't think you could circumcise Superman if you tried, at least not on Earth. Although multiple people have suggested that it could be done using a kryptonite cutting tool

Sauce

 

[419]

 

[HIVidaBoheme]

"No one's perfect. No one can stay upright 24/7."

 

[LazloChalos]

"So I went to some bakeries and cafes in my area and ask about the cake in the photo and it turns out that I was wrong."

"It's a cheesecake, btw"

"Currently, I am still looking into desert stores in Southeastern US that sold both cake and ice cream rather than only ice cream parlors. Will get back if I found the match "


Wish the entire thing would be featured.

 

[Catastrophe-TM]

Gems from the PK thread:

I.. I wanted to say so much more to eevee there in the car.. I sqweezed him.. I told him I loved him.. I gave him the only thing on me that really had any meaning- My Chocobo Plush.

Source

people i will accept art critiques from:
-comic artists who release 30 painted color updates per month
-my cat, Twigs
-President Obama

Source

And most recently:

I don't need your permission for shit, son. But I gotta say man? If you're sourcin your info from like Kiwis or PoE or some shit? Brother, I got some bad news. You might wanna sit down.

You sitting?
Dudes named Buttfart aren't credible information sources.

Source

 

[Positron]