random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[gagabobo1997]

You're not mad because the watermelon looks like a sexualized child (because it does not), you're mad because you perceive there to be a battlefield here on which you must choose a side and live or die by it.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Somehow lying about cooking shrimp in your bathtub is worse to me than actually cooking shrimp in your bathtub

 

[Thé au lait]

"I'm more shrimp than man"

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I mean unless any of you wants to have sex with the watermelon I don't see the issue here.

Its actually an 8000 year old watermelon.

I got accused of being a pedophile and came out better than before somehow, plus I had fun.

 

[Thé au lait]

in case anyone is wondering yes I have suffered braindamage and NO I will not see a doctor

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Republicans beat Gay for remaining Florida US House seat.

 

[DickMain]

I guess I'm never getting my genuine classic movie, Tetsuo: the Woggleman, with the Wogglebug raping people to death with a gigantic drill penis.

 

[Tablet County]

Bad goys, bad goys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when (((they))) come for you?

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Sympathy should be well rationed on this site.

like Chris-chan in 2009 and Null in 2025 have the exact same politics

God sure loves punishing Texans for some reason

I don't know if the watermelon is a reference to something other than black people

Better to play it safe than get halal'd for joking about watermelon intercourse.

Another case of someone who claims they pretended to be retarded, but is actually retarded

 

[Oliver Onions]

The funniest part is him being asked if hes eating in a garage since there's motorcycles parked literally right behind him but he remains completely oblivious to them.

 

[Meat Target]

It has gone beyond beggaring belief. It now outright buggers belief.

 

[Jershua Coomer Troon]

The only thing that distinguishes the cows and the farmers is a fence.

 

[CallmeCicada]

I don't even think niggers think this much about watermelon.

 

[neger psykolog]

I cannot even comprehend donating your money to some youtuber all for the sake of a fucking video game score argument.
Do people go into work and think, "Yes, today my labor will go towards bringing a hot sauce salesman to arcade justice!"

 

[Boopims]

You have been buck broken by a fucking watermelon. Get a grip.

 

[Spectate]

This wasn’t satire. This wasn’t a psyop. This wasn’t “le funny pdf meme.”
It was the regime change.

 

[JustSomeDong]

people actually have made money from farts for basically all of recorded history, fart entertainment is completely independent of fiat

 

[Tablet County]

I tried Googling "tranny April Fool's" hoping a good meme would pop up, but instead it was a bunch of absolutely disgusting fucking trannies trying to be hot. I have suffered for this joke.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF ELON MUSK'S COCK!

In clown world, every day is April Fools Day.

 

[The Judean People's Front]

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Anyone else get sad about their bones?