random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

If we're gonna save X and America we're gonna have to find a way to get Elon raped by a pack of feral Indians

I don't know why everything is solved using rape here.

 

[Law]

shutted down all our factories and shipped them to Chinkchonkland

 

[Gentlebastard]

Time really flies when you don't have something lodged up your butt.

"TOOK A PIECE OF PLASTIC COATED PAPER FROM A MILK CONTAINER, ROLLED IT TIGHTLY, WRAPPED IT WITH TAPE TO THE SIZE OF 'GREATER THAN A CRAYON' AND INSERTED IT AS FAR AS HE COULD INTO HIS PENIS SEVERAL HOURS AGO"

"PATIENT STATES SHE BELIEVES SHE HAS A VIBRATOR IN EITHER HER RECTUM OR VAGINA"

Don't you remember the mission in San Andreas where CJ has to prove himself to the ballas by shoving an entire bottle of Robitussin up his ass?

Learning that Rick still writes checks is somehow the most disturbing and disgusting thing I’ve learned about him this year.

It’s not even the retarded shit he does, it’s the fact that after almost a decade he keeps doing it.

No growth. No altering tactics. No reassessing his position and making changes.

It’s the square peg into the round hole… forever.

If a team were writing a Standardized Pooner for a hypothetical, this is pretty much what they'd come up with.

"I am not a little bitch, child. You. Are."

That’s the life of a lolcow in a nutshell.

Ever played The Sims 3? If you have your sim the unlucky trait, they would always be brought back by the grim reaper no matter how many times a vending machine fell on them, they got hit by a meteor, or eaten alive by something. Why? The grim reaper found their life to be too amusing to reap.

They are cursed with undeath in that way, to be our walking tv programs.

I fucking hope they were just fucking with me but signs point to "no they were serious"

 

[Nikes_JustDoIt]

- Both Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande will be court ordered to go on romantic dates with Moon

 

[Asian tech support]

I hate fucking Dark Souls and I know this is just Dark Souls. You do the fucking roll thing every single goddamn motherfucking game has these days and it's just Dark Souls. I don't want to play fucking Dark Souls, I've never played Dark Souls, I never want to play Dark Souls, I will never play Dark Souls.

 

[Foxxo]

"I hope I've built up enough goodwill you can let me be retarded."

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

No you can never be too racist against Indians you should want to put their Indians in their place which is in India under 100,000 British marching boots

 

[Dr. Butt]

Happy Holocaust, buddy

 

[Rotollo 2]

Bitch I make furry porn.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

Yiddish cinema and Turkish soap operas have more influence on mainstream America than Bollywood.

SAAAAAAR PLEASE GIVE KOSHER PENUS

 

[scathefire]

Come on man, who was on Odin's fap list? You can tell us.

 

[Harm]

I got jumpscared by a shovel thinking it was Elliot in my garage

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

What is raising a red flag is that when I look "him" up I do not find any family or associates with the same surname listed, at all. In fact this person has no family connections at all. It emerged from the UW Madison early in this century with no historical context whatsoever.

 

[Verdun_Salient]

Bitch I make furry porn

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

sufficient poo in ass so nobody can sex it, im talking strong and dense pipe cloggin' bricks here, not loose soy cuck fudge

 

[Dr. Butt]

that's how the consent accidents start: at first it's just mandatory COVID tests, then it's compulsory anal probes

What a fucking faggot. My god. Get a hobby.

You're such a colossal asshole, Liz.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

If you guys haven't tried flickergooning yet, you don't know what you're missing out on. Do it NOW.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

it reminded me of a manga from like twenty years ago where a guy gets bullied so hard his dick falls off and then in the end he gets his dick back and fucks his mom so hard he turns black.

 

[Hitman One]

I regret that I asked. Not because of the rape and pregnancy and all that, but because what you said sounds autistic as fuck.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Defendant "Admitted to Wearing the White Hood and Saying the Racial Slur," but Claimed "He Had Worn the White Hood Because It Was Cold Outside"