random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

Textra comes in like Kramer and talks about the newest cat tranquilizer or something he’s trying
- @Dagoth AMOGUS
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I said that like weeks ago how did you find that?? Is there really a chat archive?

 

[Cnidarian]

There is a 66% chance this is fucked up, I shall call this phenomenon Schrodinger's pedo.

 

[Meat Target]

we just got a behind the scenes look at a future COPS episode.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

spend enuff time in the sectre and on this web site you start to be unable to NOT shit post. its like an affliction, torets syndrome. it was funny at first but i need help I cant stop Nigger Faggots........ I mean friends.

this isnt funny any more its affecting my real life Kike Nigger faggot

 

[The Judean People's Front]

I suppose in her ideal world she'd roll her wheelchair made of tree branches and stones into the grasslands where her ancestors could teach her to forage for the testosterone and dilaudid that bloomed naturally from the munchie plants.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

There is absolutely no way those were actually women and I'll go a step further and say that they most likely didn't even attend clown college. Frauds. FRAUDS!

I think these kids got some candy from a few friendly clowns and coincidentally, a few of the kids came down with a bug.

You look like a ghoul. A ghoul stuffed into pants that were made for a much, much skinnier ghoul.

I was promised a 6'6" tranny and ended up with a gigantic ugly woman

That was the implication, yes.

Or sending anonymous letters with the distinctive Trump ALL CAPS deranged style. I wanted to dunk on him so hard for the blasphemous made-in-China Bible while I was in the clink.

Good to be out of jail, although it was well-deserved.

There is no law so enforce it yourselves until proper authority can be restored.

I couldn't care less what the academics say, naming my cactus plant Pablo, getting him a tiny sombrero, and watering him with tequila was a true touchstone moment between the American and Mexican peoples. Pablo was my friend and I alike his. Heartbroken when he got deported, but we still keep in touch through letters. I can't read his letters because I don't speak Spanish and he can't read mine because he's a cactus, but that doesn't diminish the strength of our bond.

I'm upset by the lack of examples of racist plant names.

They were bored? This is what drugs and sex are for.

it is very fake and gay, yes

(McDonald’s fries are my favorite junk food, so I am very passionate about this tard fucking up a beautiful piece of the American Culinary Lexicon.)

Yes, unfortunately, Americans really.

written by lying retards with no sense of how to soberly value information

Walk in death ovens? man, walmart really DOES have everything.

And what a lovely poster child for the movement she is!

Subscribe for more Autoclave fun facts? Y|N

The joke writes itself.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Victoria, you dummy, walrus populations have been increasing.

 

[Uncle Buck]

But mental illness is mental illness and you can't reason a person out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

RUBUBUBUBUBUGOBBLEGOBBLE. THEIR UNCLEAN HANDS WILL HELP MAKE ME WHOLE.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

THEY CAN TAKE MY TP, BUT THE CAN NEVER TAKE MY BUNGHOLE

So wait...Captain Planet shot JFK?

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

Clumpy ass motherfucker, stomping around like he thinks he's the sugar plum fairy.

Imagine your only option for prom being a Troon that looks like your inbred cousin Earl..

Imagine your only option for prom being a Troon that looks like is your inbred cousin Earl..

His ditch has tonsil stones.
Isn’t the human body amazing?!

 

[Fruttasecca]

It should absolutely be against the law for an AI to groom a child.

 

[Gentlebastard]

This is why we need to go back to the Roman way of looking at actors.

Nickelodeon star. We don't know if she was molested, but her feet definitely were.

(trigger warning: Jimmy Fallon)

A random number generator would have likely made a better decision than she did.

Moses using a Beyblade to cross the Red Sea is another good example of this.

Remember kids it's punk to do what the government, media and corporations tell you.

That's beautifully put, although I don't really really agree that Canada has a right to exist

Yeah no little buddy you’re the guy who paid to work for free.

No NSFL tweets this time, I guess the new car smell is starting to wear off. I'm sure we will get a couple when the amhole is officially recovered.

he always comes across as a theater kid who will say with 100% certainty something that is 20% correct

Airing dirty laundry isn't a great look. But it's hella entertaining.

Seriously how does this guy not have a thread here ?

Sounds like something a fat fuck would say.

Political spergs are just insufferable and are never satisfied. They'll force you to vote for their candidate no matter what. Just call them a bunch of retards and let them wallow in their own filth.

 

[Thé au lait]

Wait for the honk, child.

Unless you're planning to sell your xeets as a book (working title: No, Child: The Microblogging Musings of a Milwaukee Man Muncher)

It would certainly be an event.

Trump scarfing niggeroni with sips of Diet Coke.

Fatrick, open mouth and gullet being fed by two stream ship stokers from a pile of sausage, the grinder working overtime, and Niki distracting all of the fathers of the ingredients.

"Patrick Tomlinson looked disgusting--huge bitch tits protruding--in his red shirt before me. Very very disrespectful."

Empirically, you think about trannies more than boobs

 

[Jhonson the Two]

Cry all you want, coal burner. The future is here and it’s made of Thorium.

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

 

[Meat Target]

If you ever decide to look up fetish cannibalism for what ever reason, most are German.

 

[gagabobo1997]

NOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST PUSH THE RAPE BUTTON!
Rape machine go BRRRRR.

 

[cybertoaster]

the jews made me a retard

 

[Free Dick Pills]

from Keno Kasino Chat

DOORSTUCK - 20:51:22
@Billy Bong, minimalism is made up by big small to sell more less