Ralph's Height

[TriggerMeElmo]

Is there any way someone could reference gunts height to a foreground object to get an actual measurement? Is he really 5'1? I'm not very good at judging his height from the footage and photos I've seen he seems like he's around 5'3 maybe 5'4.

The better question we have to address is the GQ of how tall Gator is.

 

[Drew Pickles 69]

This is a simple tutorial on how to use Photoshop tools to find the height of a person, matched against an object or person with a known height or the very least, a good range. The estimate is rough depending on the quality of the source image and skill of the person.

Note: All the "clicking" here will be left click, unless otherwise stated!

Requirements:
- Photoshop
- Clear photo with geometry

Overhead:
- It might be necessary to straighten the subject through photo manipulation, this isn't exactly trivial
- Comparisons must be made on the same plane, because of perspective distortion
- Remember to save progress (shift+ctrl+s, as psd), especially if you're using a pirated copy of the software.

Issues:
- Shit smartphone lenses have distortion, typically slight barrel distortion for mid-range ones (not a big deal) and heavy pincushion distortion for wide angle lenses. This must be corrected and can be very difficult if the phone model is unknown. My suggestion is to move on to a different photo, avoid the modern "wide angle" type shots.
- Fisheye photos can't be (easily) used

Source image:
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Angle corrected by @PlasticOwls
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Image analysis:
Remember, we want clean and good geometry.
- Pathway with gridded tiles
- Traffic bollards with typical height of 18-20 inches
- Car wheels with typical diameter of 18 inches (regulated)
- Background buildings, the yellow umbrellas and green roof
- Clear vanishing point at the pig's head
- Trees planted in approximate lines
- Electricity poles
- Gunt appears taller than Warski because he's closer to the camera, the two wiggers are on an angle

I'll be using the pathway, the road, and the buildings first to find a singular vanishing point.

Firstly, Ctrl+Alt+C to make the canvas larger, I put in 200%.
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Create a blank layer on top of the source image:
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Optional: Right click, blending options. Choose "Color Overlay", select a colour you want. This will allow the colours to be consistent and avoid the headache of changing brush colours.
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Now press "P" for the pen tool. You want the first one:
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Click on a spot and drag it along.
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Use this to extend the line further out, or correct the position, or both. Ideally, we want it to extend all the way out so the lines are on the same plane as the fighting White niggers in public, showing the world that the word nigger is an adjective and a noun applicable to every group, not a racist slur.
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Press "B" for brush, set brush size to 1-2 pixels, hardness to 100%. Click on one end of the line drawn by the pen tool.
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Then go to the opposite extremity, hold shift, and click there. This will draw a nice straight line.
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Now, press "P" for the pen tool again and press "Esc" several times to get rid of the previous lines, and repeat. Similar to the image above, we can see a vanishing point is converging. I like to use different layers that are colour coded for different objects because I'm autistic.
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Everything along this vanishing point will have the same height. Now we need lines for an object we'd like to use. I'm using the bollards as illustrated above, with my retarded spelling error. Let's add 2 lines for each end of those bollards, using a new layer. The pen tool will be used again. Same method as previously mentioned. Now, the bollards are encapsulated. I used the top as a guide previously, so it's just one blue line. Everything along these 2 lines have the same height.
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What we need to do now is some mapping, map the bollard onto the gunt in question. Our canvas is too small, so make it larger. Ctrl+Alt+C again. I put in 300% which still doesn't seem large enough, so I shift-clicked to select all layers, and dragged everything to a corner. Clicking "V" swaps to the move tool for repositioning, then ctrl+D to deselect afterwards.
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We would like some guiding lines, ctrl+R creates a ruler frame. Click-drag-down on the top will bring a line down. We will encase the pig here. The bollards' guiding lines must intersect with our ruler lines. We will now use the pen too ("P") to extend the couple of existing lines. Ideally with forethought, this step should be avoided by creating a sufficiently large workspace.
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Using the pen anchor point tool, the line is extended and adjusted for a best fit. Hold "Alt" and use the "scroll wheel" to zoom in and out.
"Close enough", once again, "B" for brush, click on one end, shift click on the other to draw a line. Repeat for the other end of the bollard.
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Reeeesult:
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Remember how everything along these lines are of the same height? All we have to do now is draw a line perpendicular to the light blue ruler guide at the intersection, to meet the upmost line. To do this, (surprise!!!) use the pen tool, holding shift allows one to draw a line perpendicularly up.

I've created a new layer and used the brush tool to make another line, by using the same "shift-click" method. I increased the brush size a little here.
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Let's draw a second line for the gunt, between the two ruler guides. Again, brush tool "shift clicking". Do this with a new layer. I used one of those vertical rulers as a guide.
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Now click on "V", we can move the two lines for comparison, by "hold-clicking" on them and dragging. To make stuff neater, I created a group. Shift-click the two lines and click on that folder icon.
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Click on the bollard layer, "Ctrl+J" to create a copy, we need multiples here. After the copy is made, hold "shift" and drag the new layer up, it will maintain its position on the canvas. Place it above the previous. 3 bollard lines are now stacked.
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It's basically complete, all we have to do now is determining the gunt's equivalent height in measurement units of traffic bollards. We will find out the percentages with the ruler tool. Primary school level of calculations are involved.
Top of bollard: 18.6%
Top of pig: 20.4%
Bottom of bollard: 23.7%
23.7-18.6=5.1
20.4-18.6=1.8
1.8/5.1≈0.353 → 35.3%
1-35.3%=64.7%
So the gunt's height is 264.7% of a bollard.

Likewise, we can use the measurement tool if you find mathematics threatening. Right click on the bottom, above the colour patches, and choose Ruler Tool.
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Hold "shift", drag up. Height of excess bollard is 56.58 pixels. It's shown as a negative here because direction is considered, we want the magnitude (absolute value).
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Height of one bollard:
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56.58/161.31≈35.08%
So, 3-0.3508=2.6492=264.92%
Similar to 264.7%, the result above.

What's the height of the bollard? Typically, they can be 16-25 inches. We can see it's taller than the wheels, so perhaps using wheels with known regulated diameters of 18 inches is a better choice. Anyway, it'll be easy to redo bits of this for the wheels. The height of the bollard is likely 54-62cm.
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I'll redo this for the wheel later. The pig can grunt about his supposed 5'11 all he likes, these bollards are obviously not anywhere near 70cm tall.

A picture of him and May standing next to each other might be a better reference or when he walked through digibros door the door frame should be more or less the same size as a normal front door so you could just use that to base your measurements off of.

 

[SuperConglomerateWhale]

I saw Ralph out behind an Arbys and he was like 4'6 at the most.

He found meats bigger than his own

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

He found meats bigger than his own

I could have done this without seeing your avatar. You win by default, asshole. I need to pray.

 

[SuperConglomerateWhale]

I could have done this without seeing your avatar. You win by default, asshole. I need to pray.

Heal us, Adonai, and we shall be healed. Save us and we shall be saved, for you are our praise. Bring complete healing for all of our ailments, because God, king, a faithful compassionate healer are you. Blessed are you, Lord, who heals the sick of his people Israel.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

Heal us, Adonai, and we shall be healed. Save us and we shall be saved, for you are our praise. Bring complete healing for all of our ailments, because God, king, a faithful compassionate healer are you. Blessed are you, Lord, who heals the sick of his people Israel.

Not in my land, we only respect Mohamed PBUH.

 

[SuperConglomerateWhale]

Not in my land, we only respect Mohamed PBUH.

All this fighting is pointless. We must come together and worship our short, rounded, gunted ruler!!!

 

[Fougaro]

Im gonna say he is somewhere around 5'6 or 5'5

I heard many of his contemporaries estimate his height to be in this range. The official arrest record said 5'1'' and I'll go with that until proven otherwise.

 

[LurkTrawl]

I heard many of his contemporaries estimate his height to be in this range. The official arrest record said 5'1'' and I'll go with that until proven otherwise.

It's enough proof, imo. The cops need to be accurate about height when it comes to records, same as with every other piece of data they get. He's just a near-pathological liar who for some reason thinks he can bullshit the entire universe about anything he wants.

 

[Knight of the Rope]

The official arrest record said 5'1'' and I'll go with that until proven otherwise.

But Ralph specifically filmed himself next to a ruler and proved once and for all that he wasn't 5'1''!

See?

Are you calling him a liar? Are you saying that he's a lying manlet who probably staged the entire video because the camera angle is very convenient and he's exactly the kind of bitch who'd do such a thing? Are you saying that regardless, it's fucking pathetic of him to have even filmed this video in the first place, and that he's a thin-skinned faggot who lies? How dare you, Ralph isn't a liar!

 

[Gangster Talk]

Fast-forward to this 2018 post Ralph says he is 5’10 and provides a receipt
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When arrested, are you actually measured or does some government wagie punch it in while painting their nails? I assume this is a "how much do you weigh? How tall are you? OK whatever" situation. It's also my headcanon that he gave 5'10 before but the clerk knew that was complete bullshit and just left it at 5'1 to be more accurate.

Someone post the link to that original arrest too btw I want to add 5'1 to his Wikipedia page

 

[4str4staleatherbelt]

Gunt Guard General Dick Molesterson proclaimed Ralph was 5 foot 8 in the first 4 minutes of the most recent Dick Show.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

Gunt Guard General Dick Molesterson proclaimed Ralph was 5 foot 8 in the first 4 minutes of the most recent Dick Show.

Dick's now made the Official Killstream Shitlist™ if that's troo.

These s know not what treachery they commit.

Gator, this is unacceptable. TELL 'EM I CAN SLAM DUNK ON LEBRON JAMES!

 

[Troon Carey]

My theory is that Ethan is actually 4'3 but walks around on stilts to gaslight you.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

My theory is that Ethan is actually 4'3 but walks around on stilts to gaslight you.

My theory is that Ralph is fat and Hollywood magic/MySpace angles estimate him to be 8 feet tall and everyone on KF is just jealous they don't own late night talk shows of falling half asleep during a trial proceding while drinking themselves into an early grave.

 

[Troon Carey]

My theory is that Ralph is fat and Hollywood magic/MySpace angles estimate him to be 8 feet tall and everyone on KF is just jealous they don't own late night talk shows of falling half asleep during a trial proceding while drinking themselves into an early grave.

We just need a camera shot of him walking rolling into a store that way we can peg his height once and for all.
This week's forensic files: find out how scientists figure out the height of a drunken manqueerpig
edit: Still kinda surprised that Dick has maintained such a relationship with Ralph - I mean I don't see him getting anything out of it other than potentially getting 80s girl to have 3 ways with his child brides and pedophile queenies.

 

[AltisticRight]

It looks like that Miami photo is on slopped ground and Warski is standing on ground a little lower. This Photoshop shit is above my head, so are you guys taking that into account?

Yeah Warski is for sure taller, the gunt was just closer to the camera. Slopes shouldn't matter too much as long as everything is straight-ish.

Is there any way someone could reference gunts height to a foreground object to get an actual measurement? Is he really 5'1? I'm not very good at judging his height from the footage and photos I've seen he seems like he's around 5'3 maybe 5'4.

It can be done if anyone can provide a decent source photo.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

Not for nothing but I do want to credit @MeltyTW for an earlier assessment:

It was predicted

EDIT: I just want to add a couple of things

Gross

And his feet are extended so that may add to his "height" in this picture so that's worth considering.

 

[AnOminous]

It's enough proof, imo. The cops need to be accurate about height when it comes to records, same as with every other piece of data they get. He's just a near-pathological liar who for some reason thinks he can bullshit the entire universe about anything he wants.

It was at least remotely plausible that an online record wouldn't be accurate, though, which is why I gave his denial credence originally. Now that we have so many pictures of him standing next to other proven manlets and he is obviously shorter than they are, not so much.

Incidentally, Danny DeVito is apparently 4'10". That is apparently just on the cusp of being an actual dwarf, so Danny DeVito is either the world's tallest dwarf or the world's shortest manlet. But Danny DeVito is so fucking based he qualifies as a chad for that alone.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Gunt Guard General Dick Molesterson proclaimed Ralph was 5 foot 8 in the first 4 minutes of the most recent Dick Show.

That's unbelievably pathetic. For a guy who's all about a masculine persona he sure acts like he's in a fuckin' sisterhood.

It was at least remotely plausible that an online record wouldn't be accurate, though, which is why I gave his denial credence originally. Now that we have so many pictures of him standing next to other proven manlets and he is obviously shorter than they are, not so much.

In that infamous picture where he's standing between CRP and Dax, I think that, based on his posture, he's definitely at the very least standing on the pads of his feet, and may even be being held up by the two:

Spoiler: large-ish photo

1: If you look at where the thin red arrow is pointing, it looks like his legs are crossed in a way that suggests that they might actually be dangling. That along with the gun flopping out adds credence to the idea that he's actually being held up by itself.
2: Now where the hollow red arrows are pointing, that looks to be where he would be, if he were being held up by these two fucking retards fine upstanding gentlemen, that the pressure would be placed given the relative posture between the three. And, looking at it that way, it looks as if though CRP is using his right hand (the one the left hollow arrow is pointing at) to brace on the same spot Ethan's pit is putting all of his weight on Dick's side of the equation, which would account for the really weird, "weighed-down" posture he's taking on that side. Which would account for why Dick's posture looks somewhat similar to someone carrying a heavy bag with a strap looped over their shoulder. It's evocative of a scene where two people might be trying to keep another one from falling. Compare and contrast with this:

Spoiler: Comparison images

Tell me you don't see a semblance of that in this photo. Maybe it's just me, idk.
3: The blue arrow is pointing at where Ethan would, it seems, be putting his weight on Dax's shoulder. If you look at the angle of his arm, and the position of his hand on Dax's right shoulder, along with how CRP's shirt looks like how one would expect if he were to, along with Dax, lean down and get a good grip on Ethan to lift him up, it really comes together to paint an image that again is reminiscent of someone being carried by two people. Also right under the blue arrow, Dax's jacket seems to be twisting towards Ethan as well. Now, if you told me that Ethan was just standing on his tiptoes and those clothes were actually twisting that way because of his gravity well, I'd believe you, but I think it's a little less likely than getting a bit of help from his "sistahs". There's also how his upper torso looks like he's tensing, like one would if they were trying to hold themselves aloft on the shoulders of two other people, and if he were it would explain why he might relax his gunt enough for it to just flop out like a disgusting flesh-sack - it'd be too strenuous for him to both hold it in and use his upper body to keep himself held up.

Anyway, that's what initially got me to believe he's a 5'0" manlet. That picture just seems too much like he's an oompa-loompa being held up by two fully grown adult human males.

Incidentally, Danny DeVito is apparently 4'10". That is apparently just on the cusp of being an actual dwarf, so Danny DeVito is either the world's tallest dwarf or the world's shortest manlet. But Danny DeVito is so fucking based he qualifies as a chad for that alone.

I wouldn't be surprised if DeVito is hung like Ron Jeremy. They even kind of look alike if you squint.