Post-Merge Waifu Follow up - United at last!

Lara Croft has already shot me five times with a Desert Eagle...help...I'm bleeding out. If your waifu is a healer plz help
 
I'm still waiting for my TRUE and HONEST sweetheart to arrive but I've already booked a suite at a hotel for our first night together. Petal roses arranged delightfully, lavender scented air-fresheners, and a candlelit dinner of grilled chicken, greens and mashed potatoes, with the chocolate puddings for desert.
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Dropped in briefly, then said something how he needs to move forward and left me.
This merge sucks.
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I'm just waiting my father, God Emperor of Man to tuck me in and tell me that degenerates, sub humans and troon demons won't infest my life tommorow.

I know that big E is busy and all that shit, some attention would be nice
 
I too was hoping to rendezvous with my anime waifu, but so far I've only been visited by Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. She can't eat with a knife and a fork and the way she's talking is terrifying my cat, not to mention her cocaine habits. I'm too afraid to say anything because I heard that a horse's kick can kill a man. Is there some sort of trick that you can use to get the one you want on the first try?
 
I have some guy drawn in a scooby doo style named Harlan ellison. He keeps screaming about the merge being an original idea stolen from him and asks me
to add thief of original concept to Chris' charges.

Guys, help! How the fuck do I do that? He keeps asking me to drive him to James Cameron's house to kick his ass???
 
I was waiting for Rem from Re: Zero.
I ended up with Aqua from Konosuba. She doesn't shut up, drinks all my booze, doesn't clean after herself and just lazes around my apartment. Yeah, she's kind of hot, but her personality is so unappealing that I couldn't even think of sticking it in her.

Anyone want to trade waifus?

Also there are Teletubbies with rifles fighting against Spongebob characters outside and I need to get to work. Please send help.
 
I too was hoping to rendezvous with my anime waifu, but so far I've only been visited by Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. She can't eat with a knife and a fork and the way she's talking is terrifying my cat, not to mention her cocaine habits. I'm too afraid to say anything because I heard that a horse's kick can kill a man. Is there some sort of trick that you can use to get the one you want on the first try?
Are you using a ouija board made before 1993?
 
My waifu showed up at the door this evening, but I think something's wrong. She looks like a UPS guy and she keeps asking me to sign for a package.
 
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