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My retarded brand of autism for some reason has left me physically unable to speak the accent of the country I was born and raised to the point where throughout my life I have had people ask me if I'm American...
And despite that somehow I am able to do a flawless Southern accent, despite the fact I have never even visited Dixieland
I was going to reply with "I post on Kiwi Farms" but the first reply to this thread was that so I guess to compensate, I think of jokes that have already been made a lot of the time.
I once bought a milkshake from a burger joint I frequented, walked out, slipped and dropped it in plain view of everybody. I walked back in to buy another.
I also once accidentally took a swig of my own piss. I did not swallow it. I immediately brushed my mouth with burning hot water for like 10 minutes straight after. I will not elaborate on how it happened.
As a kid I smeared sour cream on a piece of cherry pie because my dumb ass thought it was whipped cream. They looked the same, hence my mistake. Plus I was like 6.
My dad forced me to eat the whole thing as a learning experience lol
