Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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Yikes!

Help, I feel my relationship is failing

S.jpg

"She is poly but I am not."

Then, your relationship was already dead on arrival.
 
Última edición por un moderador:
Regarding children caught in the middle of their parent's debauchery and neglect polyamorous relationship, I often see people saying that the kids should be kept in the dark about it, or that they shouldn't know until they're older, because its better not to know. I think it is true that it's better not to have the side pieces cuddling on the couch while the kids are home, but even when they don't have a clue what's going on, it's still really awful for the kid. A polyamorous relationship, especially one that is being kept entirely seperate from the kid, is going to result in the parents being very, very absent.

You're a younger child, 4 or 5. You have a lot of sleepovers at your friends' or relatives' houses. You always get excited when your parents tell you that next week you're going to be spending the night somewhere else, and you don't understand why other kids feel homesick when they're away from their parents. You're always shuffled from one house to the next, and you handle it just fine, thanks! Occasionally your parents go on vacations and trips, but you don't get to go. That's fine, theyre going to do boring adult stuff anyway. Still, it would be nice if you could go with them sometime, but its just that you're too young now, you'll surely get to go when you're older.

Now you're an older child, 9-10. You're wondering why some family friends are no longer around, and why you haven't been invited back to some kids houses after you used to stay the night so much. Your last sleepover seemed rushed, your parents started getting ready to go out after you got home from school, and they called the parents of one of your friends to arrange for you to stay with them, even though it's a school night. That night, you overhear your friend's parents saying something about how ridiculous it is that they (your parents) keep doing this, why is this more important than watching their kid? You wonder what "this" is. You wonder why you never go out to do anything with your parents on the weekends. They're still taking trips without you, but now you see your friends at school coming home from family vacations, and you don't know why your parents are never able to make the time.

Your childhood is lonely. You have your friends, yes, but your parents are always in and out, because unbeknownst to you, you came second to them getting some strange. Their choices have caused you to lose friends because they caused you to wear out your welcome in other kids' houses, or because the other parents were disgusted by your parents' behavior. God forbid you ever find out about your parents' second lives in the future, because now every lonely moment, every weird comment from your childhood, every question you ever had about why your parents were not there is answered: they wanted to fuck more than they wanted to be around you. Everything is recontextualized, and even the good memories of spending time at friends houses and staying up til dawn are tinged with the realization that your parents only did that so you wouldn't get in the way of their sexual proclivities.

And this assumes that they were perfect at concealing their *ahem* lifestyle from you, that there was no additional kink shit around for you to stumble upon, that your friends/kids at school didn't know.

It makes me sick, because honestly? This is probably the best outcome for a kid whose parents are into this shit, and it still leaves a kid who feels lonely and unloved.
 
Inebriated Racoon dijo:
Yikes!

Help, I feel my relationship is failing

Ver archivo adjunto 2542149

"She is poly but I am not."

Then, your relationship was already dead on arrival.
Presiona para expandir...
Agreed. Reminds me of the relationship some of my acquaintances are in. Girl and her boyfriend are in exclusive relationship. Girl was seeing a couple guys before they met but made a big deal about only dating current boyfriend. Cut to 3 years later and she just can't help herself and dates another friend behind bf's back. When BF finds out she essentially goes "well I never said I was in an exclusive relationship with you. You should have known this could happen. Deal with it or break up with me." They're still together but it ruffles my feathers every time I see the girl with her "second boyfriend."
 
Nazz dijo:
Regarding children caught in the middle of their parent's debauchery and neglect polyamorous relationship, I often see people saying that the kids should be kept in the dark about it, or that they shouldn't know until they're older, because its better not to know. I think it is true that it's better not to have the side pieces cuddling on the couch while the kids are home, but even when they don't have a clue what's going on, it's still really awful for the kid. A polyamorous relationship, especially one that is being kept entirely seperate from the kid, is going to result in the parents being very, very absent.

You're a younger child, 4 or 5. You have a lot of sleepovers at your friends' or relatives' houses. You always get excited when your parents tell you that next week you're going to be spending the night somewhere else, and you don't understand why other kids feel homesick when they're away from their parents. You're always shuffled from one house to the next, and you handle it just fine, thanks! Occasionally your parents go on vacations and trips, but you don't get to go. That's fine, theyre going to do boring adult stuff anyway. Still, it would be nice if you could go with them sometime, but its just that you're too young now, you'll surely get to go when you're older.

Now you're an older child, 9-10. You're wondering why some family friends are no longer around, and why you haven't been invited back to some kids houses after you used to stay the night so much. Your last sleepover seemed rushed, your parents started getting ready to go out after you got home from school, and they called the parents of one of your friends to arrange for you to stay with them, even though it's a school night. That night, you overhear your friend's parents saying something about how ridiculous it is that they (your parents) keep doing this, why is this more important than watching their kid? You wonder what "this" is. You wonder why you never go out to do anything with your parents on the weekends. They're still taking trips without you, but now you see your friends at school coming home from family vacations, and you don't know why your parents are never able to make the time.

Your childhood is lonely. You have your friends, yes, but your parents are always in and out, because unbeknownst to you, you came second to them getting some strange. Their choices have caused you to lose friends because they caused you to wear out your welcome in other kids' houses, or because the other parents were disgusted by your parents' behavior. God forbid you ever find out about your parents' second lives in the future, because now every lonely moment, every weird comment from your childhood, every question you ever had about why your parents were not there is answered: they wanted to fuck more than they wanted to be around you. Everything is recontextualized, and even the good memories of spending time at friends houses and staying up til dawn are tinged with the realization that your parents only did that so you wouldn't get in the way of their sexual proclivities.

And this assumes that they were perfect at concealing their *ahem* lifestyle from you, that there was no additional kink shit around for you to stumble upon, that your friends/kids at school didn't know.

It makes me sick, because honestly? This is probably the best outcome for a kid whose parents are into this shit, and it still leaves a kid who feels lonely and unloved.
Presiona para expandir...
Even in general I feel like it's best to keep dates on the down low until you're sure you want that person in both you and your child's life. It's probably not the case with everyone, but I have a friend who's very uncomfortable with relationships that probably stems from her mother bringing home new guys frequently when she was a kid. AFAIK she never said anything about them harming her in any way, but it can subtly affect a person.

DumbDude42 dijo:
>They're still together
how can the guy stomach this without going insane from the constant pain and stress of the situation?!
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I don't know tbh. I was there the time he found out, and this super kind and non-aggressive guy went and punched his truck out of emotion. Maybe he's a bit of a doormat. She still says she loves him but I think she just wants to keep him around as a room mate (he helps pay rent) and to keep some semblance of normality. But I think it's just causing that relationship to slowly die in the worst way. When he doesn't want to hang out with her when the new boyfriend will be there, she acts like he's being unreasonable. I wonder why he would feel that way...? /sneed
 
Coffee Druid dijo:
Even in general I feel like it's best to keep dates on the down low until you're sure you want that person in both you and your child's life. It's probably not the case with everyone, but I have a friend who's very uncomfortable with relationships that probably stems from her mother bringing home new guys frequently when she was a kid. AFAIK she never said anything about them harming her in any way, but it can subtly affect a person.
Presiona para expandir...
When parents bring out dates even if they're not harmed; the kid still feels worried for their safety because their parent is bringing over a total stranger and the parent may be all over that stranger in front of said kid. It creates an uncomfortable confusion about their home, safety, and happiness.
 
thyme dijo:
My coworker I've written about in the Parents of Trans Kids thread is poly. He's essentially a walking reddit trope so there's not much original about him, but here's some highlights:

-He has blue hair now (this felt like pertient information)

-He has slept on the couch for days on end when his wife's boyfriends are visiting

-His wife is built like Minecraft Steve

-The wife's boyfriends are all IRL but his girlfriends are all online only

-He says he 'doesn't like sex anyway' but it reads as cope

-The boyfriends use his car when they're in town

I found his youtube but it just has him playing punk rap for his actual son, and an atheistic wedding he ordained- got a kick out of the groom's stupid outfit
Ver archivo adjunto 2358599
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Just wanted to give an update on this guy- my coworker in a poly relationship with his wife: the kind where the woman has a lot of luck and the man has none at all, of course.

Well, he recently found out his youngest was not actually his son- kid's got a different father. Surprise!

He's been really beaten up over it, which is ironic. I don't know what he was expecting.

The more examples I see of 'poly dating', the more repulsive it seems. I feel bad for the kids the most. They're too young to have to cope with this.
 
Nazz dijo:
Regarding children caught in the middle of their parent's debauchery and neglect polyamorous relationship, I often see people saying that the kids should be kept in the dark about it, or that they shouldn't know until they're older, because its better not to know. I think it is true that it's better not to have the side pieces cuddling on the couch while the kids are home, but even when they don't have a clue what's going on, it's still really awful for the kid. A polyamorous relationship, especially one that is being kept entirely seperate from the kid, is going to result in the parents being very, very absent.

You're a younger child, 4 or 5. You have a lot of sleepovers at your friends' or relatives' houses. You always get excited when your parents tell you that next week you're going to be spending the night somewhere else, and you don't understand why other kids feel homesick when they're away from their parents. You're always shuffled from one house to the next, and you handle it just fine, thanks! Occasionally your parents go on vacations and trips, but you don't get to go. That's fine, theyre going to do boring adult stuff anyway. Still, it would be nice if you could go with them sometime, but its just that you're too young now, you'll surely get to go when you're older.

Now you're an older child, 9-10. You're wondering why some family friends are no longer around, and why you haven't been invited back to some kids houses after you used to stay the night so much. Your last sleepover seemed rushed, your parents started getting ready to go out after you got home from school, and they called the parents of one of your friends to arrange for you to stay with them, even though it's a school night. That night, you overhear your friend's parents saying something about how ridiculous it is that they (your parents) keep doing this, why is this more important than watching their kid? You wonder what "this" is. You wonder why you never go out to do anything with your parents on the weekends. They're still taking trips without you, but now you see your friends at school coming home from family vacations, and you don't know why your parents are never able to make the time.

Your childhood is lonely. You have your friends, yes, but your parents are always in and out, because unbeknownst to you, you came second to them getting some strange. Their choices have caused you to lose friends because they caused you to wear out your welcome in other kids' houses, or because the other parents were disgusted by your parents' behavior. God forbid you ever find out about your parents' second lives in the future, because now every lonely moment, every weird comment from your childhood, every question you ever had about why your parents were not there is answered: they wanted to fuck more than they wanted to be around you. Everything is recontextualized, and even the good memories of spending time at friends houses and staying up til dawn are tinged with the realization that your parents only did that so you wouldn't get in the way of their sexual proclivities.

And this assumes that they were perfect at concealing their *ahem* lifestyle from you, that there was no additional kink shit around for you to stumble upon, that your friends/kids at school didn't know.

It makes me sick, because honestly? This is probably the best outcome for a kid whose parents are into this shit, and it still leaves a kid who feels lonely and unloved.
Presiona para expandir...

And touching on this, even when these degenerates keep it "hidden," the child sees/internalizes more than that.

Some develop deep seated crippling trust issues. That affects their interactions with others.
Some classmate approaches them and invites them to come over Saturday: How do I know you actually want to be friends? How do I know you won't play for a few hours and never speak to me again?

In High School--the same, but now it's an offer to date or go to Homecoming.

And some kids, depending on nature/nurture and basic DNA, will have bouts of crippling depression and anxiety relating to fear of loss. Not knowing if their friend is their friend. Not knowing if their boyfriend/girlfriend will come back. Sometimes absolutely crippling others around them because they wouldn't know confidence and secure feeling about someone returning if it bit them on the ass.
And when they have this, they need qualified help. But in the meantime, people drift away because it isn't everyone else's job to validate and protect their insecurities. Even the boyfriend/girlfriend isn't qualified and shouldn't have to anyway.

That was the job of the free love parents.
 
Swinging parents are essentially on the same level as single parent households. It is incredibly hard to raise a kid AND earn enough to support them AND also try and find another partner who can help to share the financial and emotional burden of the situation so there's usually one thing ends up getting left behind. Either the parent becaomes unemployable by being a benefits scrounger who is doing all they can to raise their kid or the kid gets emotionally neglected as the parent works overtime to make everything work.

When you have kids, there's a few expectations that people genuinely seem to forget: that the kid is very important and you have to neglect some of your fun time in order to raise them, these poly folk remind me of the ledditors who refuse to grow up and do adult things and will play video games all day or build legos or spend money on shit like funko pops instead of growing the fuck up, selling luxury shit that can help to make life easier for the kids, and committing to raising a human being.

The parents of yesteryear sold their exotic 2 seater cars to get a boring family car, but you don't see the parents of today selling their Lego Millenium Falcon in order to buy school uniforms.
 
Uh oh, looks like someone isn't feeling "comperson" in a certain webcomic.
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Snap back to reality:
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@NoReturn Not surprised but the writing in that webcomic is kind of trash. I know it's supposed to be a fantasy thing but it doesn't even try to make good excuses for why this princess gets 5 princes as her boyfriends, as if they don't have other options. There's not really a conflict, minus the last one where it's forced. The rest are just like "yep this is fine". :story:
The artist being talented is the only good quality.
 
Bad Take Crucifier dijo:
@NoReturn Not surprised but the writing in that webcomic is kind of trash. I know it's supposed to be a fantasy thing but it doesn't even try to make good excuses for why this princess gets 5 princes as her boyfriends, as if they don't have other options. There's not really a conflict, minus the last one where it's forced. The rest are just like "yep this is fine". :story:
The artist being talented is the only good quality.
Presiona para expandir...
And hell, looking at the decorations on the outfits, at least half of that shit is downloaded brushes and assets by other people on the Clip Studio Paint store!

Also lol why you still reading these crazy straight folks wet dream, NoReturn? You're a glutton for trash. XD
 
Tom Nook's Gloryhole dijo:
Swinging parents are essentially on the same level as single parent households.
Presiona para expandir...
i'd say they're much worse overall. a single parent situation can happen without it being anyones fault, like if one parent just dies for example. but swinging/poly is always someones fault.

also in terms of impact on the child i think a "daddy is gone forever" situation is pretty bad, but a "daddy is out whoring while mommy is crying herself to sleep alone in her room" is much worse.
 
Scrolling through tumblr, I am given the most tumblr-appropriate ad I've ever seen in my life
Screenshot_20210917-100357_Tumblr.jpg
✅ Homosexuals
✅ Cutesy pastel colors
✅ All of the dudes look like soft bean uwu trans bois
✅ Sub-par webcomic with a cliche art style
✅ And of course, polyamory

Its about what you would expect, there are 4 dudes who don't act like dudes (or like real people at all, to be honest) who meet and fall in soft cinnamon roll love with one another and start the ultimate fag polycule

Here are some highlights:

Screenshot_20210917-100808_DuckDuckGo.jpg
I had to look this one up. Morosexual- sexually attracted to people less intelligent than you, i.e. wanting to fuck morons.

Screenshot_20210917-100931_DuckDuckGo.jpg
I think you probably did peg him, just not as a hentai fiend, BAZINGA

in all seriousness though, polyamory is so suffused with being hopelessly addicted to porn they had to include it in the soft bean comic about four gay boys having gay sex with one another

Screenshot_20210917-101739_DuckDuckGo.jpg
Screenshot_20210917-101756_DuckDuckGo.jpg
Hit the nail on the head, buddy.
 
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