POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

[USS Farquhar]

I wonder how long it would've taken before Chris went full David Berkowitz and murdered someone for Sonichu.

 

[Mr. 0]

I wonder how long it would've taken before Chris went full David Berkowitz and murdered someone for Sonichu.

chris was trying to make null into son of sam while he plays the role of the neighbor's dog, harvey, having sex with snoopy and the resident white girl barb

 

[A-Stump]

I hope he uses the Twinkie defense

 

[John Merston]

I hope he uses the Twinkie defense

Fun fact: the original Twinkie defense wasn't actually "my client committed the murders because he was on a sugar high", but pointing out that the defendant had gone from eating healthy to binging on junk food and using it as proof of mental instability.

 

[A-Stump]

Fun fact: the original Twinkie defense wasn't actually "my client committed the murders because he was on a sugar high", but pointing out that the defendant had gone from eating healthy to binging on junk food and using it as proof of mental instability.

That's equally as retarded

 

[Doctor Krieger]

Fun fact: the original Twinkie defense wasn't actually "my client committed the murders because he was on a sugar high", but pointing out that the defendant had gone from eating healthy to binging on junk food and using it as proof of mental instability.

This would imply that Chris has eaten healthy at some point in his life.

 

[cohensd]

This would imply that Chris has eaten healthy at some point in his life.

I mean, he did appreciate McDonalds selling apple slices if his Tomgirl fun facts are to be believed.

 

[Professor Iris]

I mean, he did appreciate McDonalds selling apple slices if his Tomgirl fun facts are to be believed.

I honestly read that in Rhinox's voice, not going to lie.

Chris has a rather skewed idea about 'eating healthy.' He has this idea that as long as the meal has fruits or vegetables in it, then it must be good for you, regardless of the piles of junk that may accompany it.

For example, the 'salads' at McDonalds, some of which are worse than just flat-out ordering a burger, the fruit smoothies that he drinks which are loaded with sugar, and I even suspect that the whole "I shove vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!" speech he gave Matthew Devoria years ago were all vegetables he happened to eat with his Hungry Man TV Dinners, which are about as good for you as swallowing an entire jar of marshmallow cream.

It doesn't surprise me that he thinks eating the apple slices is him watching his weight. It's tantamount to the fat lady at any cinema concession stand ordering a huge tub of popcorn slathered in butter, but orders a diet coke.

 

[Mason Verger]

It doesn't surprise me that he thinks eating the apple slices is him watching his weight.

If I recall, those came with a caramel dipping sauce. So you dip your healthy apple slice in pure sugar.

 

[Professor Iris]

If I recall, those came with a caramel dipping sauce. So you dip your healthy apple slice in pure sugar.

Typical Chris.