POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

[Wally]

Is he in a mens or womens prison?

Based on the statement from the sheriff's office, mens.

 

[Feline Supremacist]

I'm sorry, what the fuck did I miss?

It's been mentioned he admitted to tying Barb up to do the deed on at least one occasion, maybe all of them. I think I came across it Saturday/early Sunday, I can't recall which thread it was in, probably the one that's locked.

 

[Uncle Meat]

Do you guys think being alone in his cell has caused Chris to realize the reality of the situation?

I think for the past few years, Chris has been living a miserable existence. At this point, he welcomes any change. It's likely the dimensional merge was a symbol in his addled brain for not being tied to Barb and the house any more. On the other side of the coin, he felt love for Barb and the house because it's all he knows. Catch-22. The only thing he could see that could change his life is a huge event that changes everything... a dimensional merge.

It may very well be that the regimentation of prison life is something he likes. And the fact that he is interacting with more people in the past three days than he has in the past three years might actually make him happy. Remember the ending of Psycho? Anthony Perkins is sitting in a chair fixated on a fly, totally in his own world smiling and talking to himself in his own head. Chris may be actually experiencing that. For him, this may be the merge. It may be the best thing that's happened to him in a long time...

...as sick as that sounds.

 

[the ketchup man]

So HYPOTHETICALLY, what's the least serios crime one could commit in Greene County to get one's self put in protective custody with Chris? Would public urination do?

inb4 weens get themselves arrested to meet chris

 

[Spectre777]

The poor kid would put it on and get possessed by autism.

The medallion is Chris's phylactery it contains his soul. if anyone else wears it they are possessed by all of the sonichu's including Chris.

 

[Troons to the moon]

Do you guys think being alone in his cell has caused Chris to realize the reality of the situation?

When he got arrested he was 100% sure the merge was happening.

In his mugshot he is smiling like an absolute buffoon.

So do you think while Chris is alone in a holding cell late at night unable to sleep he is realizing how absolutely screwed he is and that even if he gets out his life will never be the same again?

Or do you guys think that he is still smiling like an absolute buffoon in his holding cell thinking that the merge is finally coming to fruition?

With any luck he'll get a moment of clarity but I highly fucking doubt it.

He will just create another delusion to justify his situation.

 

[human trash]

i'm going to get hired as a prison guard specifically so i can yell 'julaaaay' while rattling the bars of his little autist spaz cage

faggots i am not being serious

 

[Toast Sandwich]

Do you guys think being alone in his cell has caused Chris to realize the reality of the situation?

Chris has spent the entirety of his life constructing alternate realities in his mind and out of his body. It's all he knows how to do and it's the only tool he has to cope with the situation.

Get ready for the sonichu hell dungeon reality.

 

[Uncle Meat]

Every time Kiwi Farms hosts a big deal, a bunch of dumb asses register to act like dumb asses. It's a good thing I'm not an admin. I would go on a banning spree.

 

[Spectre777]

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Nobody could possibly think that the medallion in the state that it is in, is "cute."

What the fuck is that shit on the medallion? it looks like a layer of slime.

 

[Troons to the moon]

Is he in a mens or womens prison?

If he goes to women's prison he'll view it as some manifestation of his Devine powers or some shit.

I hope the courts do their home work on him or else they will make him far worse than he currently is.

 

[Blue Screen of Death]

So do you think while Chris is alone in a holding cell late at night unable to sleep he is realizing how absolutely screwed he is and that even if he gets out his life will never be the same again?

Chris having all that time to think just allows him to build more and more fantasies to retreat into. I think he genuinely thinks he'll get out, he thinks it's just a minor road bump in the time leading up to the merge.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Is he in a mens or womens prison?

I heard that people are usually sent to the prison of their birth gender, only rarely are they sent to their chosen gender’s prison.

 

[Uncle Meat]

What the fuck is that shit on the medallion? it looks like a layer of slime.

Multiple sloppy super glue repairs.

 

[JoyfulDarter]

So do you guys think being alone in his cell has caused Chris to realize the reality of the situation?

It's gonna take years of prescription medication and therapy to bring Chris around to anything resembling reality.

 

[Coconut Gun]

It's been mentioned he admitted to tying Barb up to do the deed on at least one occasion, maybe all of them. I think I came across it Saturday/early Sunday, I can't recall which thread it was in, probably the one that's locked.

https://kiwifarms.pa/threads/chris-...d-from-14-branchland-court.96559/post-9588320

I think that's where it came from, and it seems like bullshit. Random account basically going "trust me".

 

[D_Tractor]

What the fuck is that shit on the medallion? it looks like a layer of slime.

It is indeed a layer of slime. Correctional officers like all state employees work for the pension, not because they like the job.

 

[infamousbeing]

Rape charge incoming, delusional fuck probably thinks he's going to go stay a few days longer then the GameStop incident

 

[infamousbeing]

What the fuck is that shit on the medallion? it looks like a layer of slime.

The start of the dimensional merge.

 

[Luggers]

The poor kid would put it on and get possessed by autism.

As was foretold