Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[BensonGumballz]

I use to be in this guy's "church" when he had a branch in Dallas. He and his wife used aliases until his probation was up. They were always late and were never professional. A strong following never happen here so the three left of the Dallas group would occasionally come up to OKC for rituals.

My now-bf and I broke off ties after we drove up to an OKC Pagan festival that they were originally going to do a ritual (I think?) at. We had arrive when we were suppose to. Adam, his wife, and their friends (a male named Jeremy and his wife who were the first to have a legal Satanic wedding) arrived 3 hours late and got us kicked out. Why? For being dicks (except Jeremy's wife. She was pissed at him and was really looking forward to the festival itself).

The OKC group pretty much died except for Adam, his wife, and Jeremy. The keep trying again and again to start up a "church". I think this was the last big thing they did.

Fun fact: Adam, his wife, and Jeremy are fucking Juggalos. ICP claim to be super Christian.

 

[DavidFerrie]

redacted

I think I found her. Are her intials "S.C."?

 

[sparklemilhouse]

because one of my ghetto sister's

I have a ghetto sister too! Feels.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

Something from one of my lolcows, Jason David Frank. You know, they guy who played Tommy in Power Rangers? Search this thread and you'll find where I went into detail about him.

Context: Ricardo Medina, who played the Red Wild Force Ranger, has been arrested after he stabbed his roommate with a sword. The news articles about it make it sound like it may have been self-defense so the fandom is awaiting news. Many former cast members have expressed their thoughts on the manner, offering condolences for the victim's family and hoping it was a case of self-defense.

Enter Tommy.

Fans took issue with this and said JDF only cared about how this affected him. After all, he makes a living going to cons as "the face of Power Rangers." They posted it on his facebook, were he deleted them. Then he posted this

 

[XYZpdq]

Something from one of my lolcows, Jason David Frank. You know, they guy who played Tommy in Power Rangers? Search this thread and you'll find where I went into detail about him.

Context: Ricardo Medina, who played the Red Wild Force Ranger, has been arrested after he stabbed his roommate with a sword. The news articles about it make it sound like it may have been self-defense so the fandom is awaiting news. Many former cast members have expressed their thoughts on the manner, offering condolences for the victim's family and hoping it was a case of self-defense.

Enter Tommy.

Fans took issue with this and said JDF only cared about how this affected him. After all, he makes a living going to cons as "the face of Power Rangers." They posted it on his facebook, were he deleted them. Then he posted this

Everything I've ever heard says JDF is a colossal twat unless you're a customer. I remember when he had his fans flood that Power Ranger contest so it was all Tommy all the time.

I hope he gets into a fight with Saban and goes full Warrior, changing his name to Tommy The Green Ranger or some shit.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

Everything I've ever heard says JDF is a colossal twat unless you're a customer. I remember when he had his fans flood that Power Ranger contest so it was all Tommy all the time.

Ahh, Morphin' Madness. For the uninformed, here's how it went. First, he offered autographs to people who voted for his three rangers that were still in the running every day that week. Thing is, some fans were running campaigns to get Ranger Keys made for Rangers who weren't getting releases. Like Titanium Ranger and Mystic Force White. The idea was if Bandai makes one set for the winner, they might release more sets for the public.

So what happens? JDF posts on his facebook how to bypass the clock, allowing people to vote multiple times in one day. He then throws a fit over haters after his rangers are all losing their respective contests. He accuses people of cheating in order to vote for other rangers. The people running the contest step in and remove fraudulent votes.

The problem is, other rangers lost thousands of votes. JDF's rangers only lost a few hundred and ended up winning his brackets. The whole thing is very suspect. JDF and his fans say there was voter fraud going on in favor of other rangers, other people suspect they rigged it so Tommy (who is promoted as the face of the franchise and greatest ranger ever) would win.

JDF suffers no repercussions for telling people how to cheat at this contest. Afterwards, he does an AMA. When people bring this up, he goes on about how he doesn't endorse cheating and how he's a hero/role model.

For the record, the one who was voted the most popular was Mighty Morphin' Red. Jason FTW.

Another thing. When doing Ranger panels with other actors, in the past he has walked out after people stopped asking him questions.

 

[MayMay]

So one I just discovered today, possibly rivaling "SONICS ARMS ARE NOT BLUE!" in terms of sheer pointlessness we have "gooppy" or "femalegoodra"

http://femalegoodra.tumblr.com/

Some people haven't really followed pokemon for a while so I'll just give a little reminder. Goodra is a dragon pokemon known for being slimy and their cutesy faces. Goodra has a gender ratio of 50/50. And there's the "problem"

As one may be able to guess, this user is obsessed with the idea that only female Goodra exist and that males are "a transgender piece of shit" and that anyone who dares raise a male Goodra should kill themselves or that male Sliggoo exist but don't evolve (which is demonstrably false) and seems to have nothing more in life than to sperg out about it. Constantly.

 

[Kittyguns]

So one I just discovered today, possibly rivaling "SONICS ARMS ARE NOT BLUE!" in terms of sheer pointlessness we have "gooppy" or "femalegoodra"

http://femalegoodra.tumblr.com/

Some people haven't really followed pokemon for a while so I'll just give a little reminder. Goodra is a dragon pokemon known for being slimy and their cutesy faces. Goodra has a gender ratio of 50/50. And there's the "problem"

As one may be able to guess, this user is obsessed with the idea that only female Goodra exist and that males are "a transgender piece of shit" and that anyone who dares raise a male Goodra should kill themselves or that male Sliggoo exist but don't evolve (which is demonstrably false) and seems to have nothing more in life than to sperg out about it. Constantly.

And here I thought they were just trying to rile up people who take pokemon too seriously.

 

[Godot]

So one I just discovered today, possibly rivaling "SONICS ARMS ARE NOT BLUE!" in terms of sheer pointlessness we have "gooppy" or "femalegoodra"

http://femalegoodra.tumblr.com/

Some people haven't really followed pokemon for a while so I'll just give a little reminder. Goodra is a dragon pokemon known for being slimy and their cutesy faces. Goodra has a gender ratio of 50/50. And there's the "problem"

As one may be able to guess, this user is obsessed with the idea that only female Goodra exist and that males are "a transgender piece of shit" and that anyone who dares raise a male Goodra should kill themselves or that male Sliggoo exist but don't evolve (which is demonstrably false) and seems to have nothing more in life than to sperg out about it. Constantly.

Is this the evolution of those creeps on /vp/ that were sexually attracted to goodra for some reason? I mean cmon people it's a fucking blob of mucus

 

[BensonGumballz]

I am a very pee-scented cub raccoon from Erie Pennsylvania, who loves fursuits, plushies, puppets, hoodies, Disney, sci-fi, autumn, pizza, Nutella, Dr. Demento, andwetting(on plushies, handpuppets, fursuits or clothes), among other things.

The pee-scented part isn't just his fursona, either. I messaged him on Fetlife once and he reassured me that "If you met me in person, you would usually smell some amount of pee scent. It varies, based on the circumstances from mild and hardly noticeable, to quite strong and arousing."

ETA: A picture someone drew for him recently:

Spoiler: Adding couch stains *SCAT, WATERSPORTS*

 

[2al]

Many of my old bullies.

They are lolcows though. An example would be this man who was held back and used his second chance at learning as a chance to act 15-16 again. He was at the same time a mama's boy and a womanizer. (He kind of took his mom for granted.) BTW, here is his rationale as to why he is a ladies man: "If you had tocino (Filipino food) as a meal everyday, you would get tired of it.

 

[luc the whiny wind boy]

Have any of you seen golbats-for-equality on Tumblr? They have such cle er advice animals such as "neuroqueer nidoqueen". Also, " neuroqueer" apparently means you can "queer" into different "neurotypes".

So basically pretending to have autism when its convenient.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

I had the misfortune of knowing both a regular lolcow and a horrorcow in middle school.

The lolcow was a classmate of mine, a bit stereotypically dweeby and awkward, probably somewhere on the autism spectrum. Really into Sonic and Yu-Gi-Oh and other geeky things, though in fairness YGO was really big then. He was infamous around the school for being, for lack of a better term, a serial sexual harasser. He had a VERY Chris-like obsession with finding a girlfriend, and it seemed any girl would do. My middle school organized classes in little "pods," where periods did rotate but it was the same group of teachers teaching the same group of students (in other words, students didn't go all around the school for class). I'm pretty sure this guy made a pass at EVERY SINGLE girl in our "pod" at least once. My friends and I hung out with him on occasion, but none of us liked him very much and we mostly did it as a favor to his assigned TA who we all thought was really cool. Sort of like the thing with Chris's gal-pals, only no money was involved. Also, on a field trip he apparently threw a classmate's diary in the river. I didn't see this one, though.

Like a lot of laughingstocks he had MAJOR issues with his mother, who was an extremely stereotypical butch lesbian who regularly left him at home alone to go biking. His grandfather, though, was perfectly normal; I'm assuming he was the mother's father, as the kid's father wasn't in the picture, assuming he wasn't just a sperm donor. I lost track of him after freshman year; last I heard he was at community college and writing Sonic smut on FF.net.

The horrorcow was the music teacher, who was discovered in my short three years there to be a pedophile. He apparently did the whole "casting couch" thing with at least one student. Thankfully, he was fired, arrested, convicted, and did eight years in the clink. I hope he's homeless now. To the best of my knowledge, he was the closest I've been in my life to a flat-out criminal.

 

[Bamboo Claw]

Is this the evolution of those creeps on /vp/ that were sexually attracted to goodra for some reason? I mean cmon people it's a fucking blob of mucus

The female goodra guy is a spammer on /vp/ and evades IP bans with a dynamic IP. Everyone hates him. I was tempted to post him to here but one day someone challenged him to give evidence that he was real and he said he would but it would take him a few hours, so that was pretty much confirmation that he was a tryhard out to annoy /vp/. Posters have said before that the first ever female goodra shit post was done by a self-aware guy who was then impersonated by this clown. Also there's a rumor that he yiffed with another hated /vp/ spammer called Bui to get a VPN.

 

[GV 002]

I'm back again, still revelling in lack of Batty. Alas, I am not here to talk about the fetid tales of the boozy farty fag-hag this time.

This time children, we delve into the brief-ish story of 'Meths'. Hold on to your sphincters.

Spoiler: STORY TIME!

I don't know his real name, or care to really. Most times I bump into him at the recording studio my buddies run or occasionally at our local rock bar...well, I say 'bump', but I usually smell the bugger before I see him. Meths is skinny as hell and dresses like a stereotypical metal hipster edgelord (resembles a marionette with a xylophone for a torso wrapped in a stained, saggy plaid shirt and over-sized wallet chain) with a scruffy neckbeard and a face like a smacked arse. None of these things, however, are what makes this runty little shitbox stand out from the other runty little shitboxes that frequent the corners of rock bars like stubborn klinkers of poo on an autist's bum. No no my gentle readers, what sets Meths apart physically is his hair.

My GOD, his hair.

It's past shoulder length, dark and perpetually drenched in grease (think kebab shop floor and you're halfway there). Where it doesn't hang in lank, ratty strands it clumps in big misshapen perma-dreads that look like giant old cat turds. Touching it would probably leave a nasty stain that not even Barry Scott could rescue, not to mention the SMELL. Legend has it that Meths' nasty barnet is the source of his sour, hamster-cagey, ball-sweaty aroma, but none have dared to get close enough to prove it. He looks like a tramp, and has occasionally been mistaken for one. Seriously.

Meths is, without a doubt, one of the most miserable people I have ever met. It's like Eeyore, if Eeyore decided to become a full-on nihilist, turn into a smelly gay loveshy, stop bathing, write terrible 2edgy4me poetry and generally was more of an inappropriate arsewipe. He'd maybe lose the pink bow, too. I'm pretty sure he puts most of it on for effect, and likes to portray himself as a 'tortured soul' who's 'sticking it to the man' because he can't stick it UP the man (he claims to be gay, but is sad because he can't get no bum lovins. In one of the 'gay capitals' of England. Winner.) I don't know how people can stand to be around him, maybe it's out of pity or something.

This guy has a habit of showing up at parties, band practices, gigs, you name it, but nobody ever seems to know who invited him. He's very much a hanger-onner, latching onto the more popular people in the metal scene down here and putting on his Eeyore Extreme front to shill his awful emo poetry/ song lyrics. He WILL bring down the mood wherever he goes; like a smelly, greasy Dyson sucking the happiness out of our helpless little faces, he is the KING of insta-bummer.

A few times I've seen him slumped over a bar nursing a watered down spirit of some kind in a sticky glass, mumbling to himself. One such time, when I didn't know him that well, I made the fatal mistake of asking him what was up.

"Hey Meths, why the long face?"

He looked at me, his brow heavy with cheap booze and forced misery.

"Mmmbl...just...lamenting."

Feeling a little awkward, I tried to lighten the mood a bit.

"Hey now, can't be all that bad, eh?"

Shouldn't have said that, Chanbob. His eyes blazed furiously as he swiped over his glass, spilling the contents all over the bar, as he whirled on me with the flourishing, rehearsed drama of a theatre actor and the grace of a Team America puppet.

"NO, you don't understand, MAN! It's HUMANS! Stupid naked apes with their FLAT PINK STUPID FACES AND FORWARDS FACING EEEEYEEES!"

He went on like this for some time before the Mister quietly trundled me away to the cool side of the bar, and one of the bar staff had to all but pimp-slap the little pissbag to shut him up. He left shortly afterwards.

So, that's dear old Meths in a greasy nutshell. If you guys liked this, I've got a few more stories about town oddities to tell.

But only if you're good!

 

[BensonGumballz]

Does Meths do meth?

 

[ZepFloyd94]

-The Super Smash Beatdown
-The Director versus Mama Bear

I really need to know how this went down.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

Ahh, Morphin' Madness. For the uninformed, here's how it went. First, he offered autographs to people who voted for his three rangers that were still in the running every day that week. Thing is, some fans were running campaigns to get Ranger Keys made for Rangers who weren't getting releases. Like Titanium Ranger and Mystic Force White. The idea was if Bandai makes one set for the winner, they might release more sets for the public.

So what happens? JDF posts on his facebook how to bypass the clock, allowing people to vote multiple times in one day. He then throws a fit over haters after his rangers are all losing their respective contests. He accuses people of cheating in order to vote for other rangers. The people running the contest step in and remove fraudulent votes.

The problem is, other rangers lost thousands of votes. JDF's rangers only lost a few hundred and ended up winning his brackets. The whole thing is very suspect. JDF and his fans say there was voter fraud going on in favor of other rangers, other people suspect they rigged it so Tommy (who is promoted as the face of the franchise and greatest ranger ever) would win.

JDF suffers no repercussions for telling people how to cheat at this contest. Afterwards, he does an AMA. When people bring this up, he goes on about how he doesn't endorse cheating and how he's a hero/role model.

For the record, the one who was voted the most popular was Mighty Morphin' Red. Jason FTW.

Another thing. When doing Ranger panels with other actors, in the past he has walked out after people stopped asking him questions.

Well... at least he's one of the few (seemingly) former kids' show actors who still has pride in doing it, I guess...

Did NOT know that about Medina, by the way. And he'd just repaired his reputation in the fandom, too...

Actually, a number of people involved in PR seem to be pretty terrible. Tracy Lynn Cruz (Turbo Yellow) dated Johnny Yong Bosch (Zeo Blue) just to get on the show, then dumped him and stole his car. Samuell Benta (Overdrive Black) stole a banner that was being auctioned off for charity at a con and kept it for himself. And David Yost (Morphin' Blue) claimed he left the show because he was constantly teased about his homosexuality by members of the crew, but I don't think he named names.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

Tracy Lynn Cruz (Turbo Yellow) dated Johnny Yong Bosch (Zeo Blue) just to get on the show, then dumped him and stole his car.

That was Patrica Ja Lee, Turbo Pink.

Well... at least he's one of the few (seemingly) former kids' show actors who still has pride in doing it, I guess...

It's not so much pride, just how annoying he is about it while Saban promotes him as the face of Power Rangers. He acts like a teenager showing off to his buddies, constantly sticking his foot in his mouth. When the upcoming movie was announced, he posted someone at Lionsgate's contact informtion and told his followers to tell her they wanted JDF. He's coming off as the has-been stuck going on about his glory days.

I suspect a mid-life crisis myself.

Samuell Benta (Overdrive Black) stole a banner that was being auctioned off for charity at a con and kept it for himself.

"Will, don't steal anything on the way out."

 

[sparklemilhouse]

This one time years ago I was at the apple store, and I overheard this guy who brought his MacBook in talking to a salesperson. He said something like, "I get all this great free software from these downloads online. Like, Microsoft Office." = torrents. The Apple guy was just totally speechless. I didn't get to hear why he brought his laptop in that day though. Must of been all that great free software.