- Registrado
- 2 de Jun, 2020
PhantomRoxas (Power Word: Patrick Robitsch) has an internet footprint spanning all the way back to 2009, most of which is connected to the same user name or some closely related variation thereof. Patrick is the quintessential consoomer, with his rabid consumption of any and all popular media resulting in most of his problems, including his gradual descent into the madness of being both a weeaboo and a brony. Because Patrick has yet to find an anime franchise he won't obsess over he's deeply involved in Weeb Wars, but his downward spiral actually began many years earlier. Somewhere in the 2011-2017 time frame Patrick picked up the noble cause of simping for Heather Atos of #Comicsgate and simultaneously spearheaded a crusade to force Dan Slott (comic book writer) into early retirement from working on the assorted Spider-Man comics.
Because Patrick's history is so long and vibrant this post will start with his most recent moment(s) of infamy during the Great Twitter Meltdown of 2021 and work its way backwards to the beginning of Patrick's career. As a delightful bonus there will also be a quick and dirty section about Patrick's brother, musician Aaron Robitsch, who appears to cosplay as the vampire Lestat (from Ann Rice's novels) except the cosplay never actually stops.
The Great Twitter Meltdown of 2021
During the summer of 2021 the emulator developer Byuu / Near wrote to our Glorious Leader Null (peace be upon him) and made him a very odd offer, then allegedly committed neckrope before Null could fully address it. As of this writing it is unknown whether Byuu is actually dead or not. The Great Twitter Meltdown of 2021 covers the events of this saga, and this is where Patrick initially launched himself into the collective awareness of the Kiwi Farms... which is horribly pathetic when you consider that he was an active participant in Weeb Wars for years and likely had some minor involvement in #Comicsgate.Weeb Wars reared its ugly head in the Twitter Meltdown thread in a very strange form. First Quinnae Moon of Gamergate made an appearance and was seen engaging with a Weeb Wars regular, CloutStrife (jurijuri). Unsurprisingly they conspire to stop the dreaded Kiwi Farms. (Archive) (Archive) (Archive) (Archive) Archives are spotty because Archive.md was running at a snail's pace at the time. Long story short, Marzgurl showed up, as you can see, and so did many of her followers. As you can also see many people were caught in these screencaps, and there, in the last one, is PhantomRoxas, aka Patrick Robitsch. Out of all these people, Patrick was the only one to specifically post a response on Twitter.
Within 24 hours of having his tweets plastered on Kiwi Farms Patrick had issued a mocking response on Twitter. Consider for a moment that he specifically states the Kiwi Farms have been stalking him -- as a collective -- and that they have been doing so for two years. Now consider that Patrick was not doxed until a month or so after the tweet pictured below. Putting the dox together took maybe four hours. So in the two years since Weeb Wars kicked off, nobody had actually bothered to do roughly four hours of work to dox Patrick, despite the fact that the DoXeMoN thread had 174 entries prior to Patrick's.
Truthfully, he didn't seem worth writing about even at the time, since so many other important things were happening. Intrepid Kiwi @PorkeyDuck caught Patrick still sperging about Kiwi Farms over a month later and even admitting that he's familiar enough with the site to know that there's no thread of him. Obviously, since he reads Kiwi Farms often enough to comment on new content within a roughly 24 hour window, he is likely reading this thread at this very moment and should make an account (if he doesn't already have one) to come defend his honor. (Archive) (Archive) (Archive) (Archive)
Ironically, Patrick obsesses about Kiwi Farms on the obscure weeaboo forum he posts on, too. (Archive)
Because Kiwi Farmer PorkeyDuck provided a copious amount of Patrick's sperging during The Great Twitter Meltdown of 2021, here is a bonus section of Patrick shitting on the Kiwis.
The Twittertards in the screencaps above bring up a good point, so this is where we'll pause and focus on exactly who Patrick Robitsch is before covering his involvement in Weeb Wars and the #Comicsgate/Dan Slott arc. It seems important to have a clear picture of this autist in order to view everything that comes after in the appropriate light. So, without further ado, I present to you:
Patrick Robitsch, aka Patrick Bitchtits
Este contenido es privado.
Here is Patrick himself confirming the dox:
Link to the article where this comment was found.
Archive
This is his last known photo. Conveniently dated due to the movie poster and lol fat.
Earlier photos:
Like most people who have braces Patrick's smile is forced and unnatural looking. It's obvious that even after having the metal pried out of his mouth he's still sensitive about it. Of course, considering he looks like Mr. Ed trying to talk, he might have every right to be touchy. Also, here's some photos of his diplomas and toys. Sadly, I didn't grab the photos of the massive piles of video game cartridges, anime, and more toys that he also had on his Facebook. Alas. An opportunity missed.
Also, his mom is fat and apparently not even Patrick's dad will have sex with her.
The Vampire Aaron Robitsch
Warning: Aaron is not fat and might even be considered attractive by some. He is here to provide a contrast to what a loser Patrick is. Please keep thirsting to a minimum. Aaron looks normal and successful in comparison to Patrick. That doesn't make him the next Freddy Mercury, or whatever gay famous person you get hard/wet for.
Aaron is being highlighted here and now to keep all the Robitsch family information in roughly the same portion of the post. After this Patrick will become the primary focus again.
Born: August 1991
Age: 30
Status: Patrick's older brother and roommate
Initially it was questionable whether these two were even related, but Mommy Robitsch helpfully cleared that up since she had posted an article about Aaron's band on her Twitter. A bit of precursory research shows that Aaron Robitsch has quite the... impressive... resume. Most of his internet footprint consists of things related to the various bands he's been in. Aaron, unlike his younger brother, has plenty of real life friends that he spends time with, and there is actual photographic evidence that he touches grass (this is not true of Patrick). Aaron appears to enjoy a single game franchise, which is The Witcher. His band even has a song about it called 'Gwynnbleidd'. (Archive) By every imaginable metric Aaron has better taste, is cooler, better looking, more popular, more talented, and more successful than Patrick. Daddy Robitsch probably likes him better, too. Aaron definitely seems like the less disappointing son in comparison. I can't decide if he gets cool kid points added or subtracted for permanently cosplaying as the vampire Lestat. Case in point:
See? Told you there was proof he's touched grass. He's also got an entry on the Encyclopaedia Metallum. What have you done with your life recently? Of course, at the end of the day it's important to remember that Aaron is also kind of a dork too, and he shares genes with Patrick.
And now, back to Patrick
Patrick is sex repulsed, considers pretty much everything to be rape, hates huwhyt males despite being one, and has been attending therapy for roughly half a decade. In case you were too lazy or uninterested to read the full dox, it is worth noting that Patrick and his brother Aaron both reside in one town house unit in the same town house complex as their mother, although her unit is different. Daddy Robitsch appears to live in a house on his own and has zero internet footprint. Seriously, dude's a ghost. Mommy Robitsch uses a hyphenated last name. Considering Patrick's habit of getting extremely angry at men in roughly the same age range as his father, it's entirely possible that Patrick was mostly raised by his mother, which is known to be a good recipe for making bitchmade men who hate anything that reminds them of their father. This is obviously very common among Twitter loons. That, however, is speculative, and Kiwi Farms deals in things that can be proven, so follow along on a magical journey with many, many examples of hypocrisy, cognitive dissonance, and Patrick shitting on literally everyone he comes into contact with. First up, sex repulsion and quirks.
Does this not come across as someone with some hang ups? Also, presented without comment:
(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)
He's also concerned he's homophobic...
(Archive)
...because he kinda is.
(Archive: Be warned, this is very long and autistic and will be covered more fully in the Dan Slott arc.)
Arguing that someone is a bad person because they are gay is, in fact, homophobic. Whether Dan Slott is gay for his character, other dudes, or whatever, is of exactly zero relevance to whether he is a good person, bad person, or even his ability to write. Patrick does nothing but insult and belittle this guy, and seems to think that being gay goes along with that hand in glove. That's kinda fucked up, dude. Oh, Patrick is also a brony, and very ashamed of it. When the Weeb Wars regulars got close to doxing his MLP: FiM fanfics he promptly deleted his whole account, and he has been specifically curating/removing his past comments about how much he wants to fuck EquestriaGirl!Applejack.
He's an autist. Shocking, I know. (Archive)
Patrick also hates white males despite being one. Preserved here so Patrick can come and consider it whenever he's rejected following a job interview. Worthless, piece-of-shit white bois like Patrick don't deserve a livelihood and even Patrick agrees with this. (Archive)
Patrick vs. Therapy
(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)(Archive)
Seen here in 2021 trying to blame the Kiwis for needing to attend therapy.
However, Patrick has been attending therapy since 2016, which would indicate he put himself into therapy following his assault on Dan Slott. Also, isn't Cow some quasi-famous Youtuber?
More therapy hot takes. The last response is spicy.
In which Patrick almost achieves self-awareness.
Another spicy clapback.
Patrick vs. Himself
Presented without commentary, here is a collection of Patrick's hot takes which are all in direct contradiction to each other. Patrick strives and fails to achieve sentience and a basic sense of genuine remorse. Patrick shows that cognitive dissonance can be a lifestyle. This section will close out with a showcase of Patrick shitting on quite literally everyone. Oh, and also, if you were wondering where Patrick rates on the Karen Scale, here's him trying to manage his manager. (Archive)
Copypasting/repeating the same message while accusing others of doing the same. Bonus: "Ur mom will work in context!"
An Intermission, in Which Patrick Criticizes Pretty Much Everyone
Shitting on Rackets. (Archive)(Archive)
Patrick's Weeb Wars Skirmishes
Weeb Wars' own @PorkeyDuck has contributed a vast wealth of information from Patrick's crusade against Weeb Wars, and I'm in the process of moving it all into the post. Up first is the genesis of Patrick's hardon for Vic Mignogna, which, predictably, comes back to Patrick being bullied.
(Archive)
Patrick vs ISWV
Below you will see Patrick's interaction with the Twitter account 'KickVic Posting Their L's Online.' There is a similar gimmick account for Comicsgate. It is unknown as of this moment if Patrick has interacted with this one since he's got his Twitter locked down. I could swear during the Twitter Meltdown I saw him interacting with a KiwiFarmsPostingTheirLs gimmick account, but it seems to have since been deleted. Anyone with screenshots or archives please hit me up.
Patrick vs KF's PorkeyDuck
Since this doesn't involve me in the slightest I am going to give a brief summary of what appears to be going on here, and otherwise I will be leaving in PorkeyDuck's comments. From what I can tell Patrick believes there is some internet conspiracy and PorkeyDuck is somehow associated with ISWV.
Patrick's Bad RP
Let me open this section by clarifying that the fact Patrick enjoys role-play means almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. The only reason it matters -- and the only reason this section is here -- is because so much of Patrick's complaining hinges on his idea that he's a better writer than people like Dan Slott. Maybe you think Dan Slott is a sperg, or that he did stupid shit in some arc or other, but the general internet consensus is that Dan Slott has some solid work under his belt along with the duds, and he's been writing for pretty much forever. Patrick's idea that he is better than Dan Slott, or somehow qualified to pass judgement on Dan Slott, is the reason everyone should take a quick look at Patrick's body of work and his attitude towards writing before they go further.
(Archive)
The Patrick Fanfic Directory
- Fanfiction.net Profile
- Hopeless Paradise
- Tiger and the Sun
- Second Fanfiction.net Profile
- Pokemon Destiny: The Omega Scrolls
- Save Me
- Ao3 Profile
- The World Beyond
- We Ride As One
- Secondary Fanfic Tumblr
And, finally, The Dan Slott Arc
Warning: While I do read comics, I cannot fucking stand Peter Parker, so I honestly have no idea what any of this shit means. It's been organized in the most coherent fashion possible under the circumstances. Someone read Patrick's hot takes and illuminate the class on whether he's being a retard or not.
Patrick can be seen here commenting on someone who has put together a hasty collage of what one can presume are Dan Slott fails. (Archive)
Massive spergfest about Dan Slotts and ableism. (Archive)
Here Patrick is seen harassing Dan Slott on Twitter, which is then cited as proof of... something(?) in an article. (Archive)
And then there's this autism. (Archive) I'm leaving the beginning of it out as an appetizer. if you have time to kill and want the rest, check out the archive. It's insanely long.
(Archive)
There is more of Patrick at Crawlspace (Archive), but I recommend starting with this post of him simping for Heather Atos.
Patrick with Linkara and Marzgurl
Because it's in the title, it only seemed right to have a bit about Patrick's involvement with Linkara and Marzgurl. He comments all over Linkara's social media and here's a tweet where Linkara responds to him. There's plenty of other tweets of him interacting with Marzgurl scattered throughout the post, so that seems sufficently proven.
(Archive)
But still, here's Patrick crying to Linkara and Marzgurl when he got doxed.
Help, help! Someone snitch to the glowies about that dastardly Kiwi Farms!
In Conclusion
While Patrick was clearly bullied in school, they did a bad job at it. In honor of Trevor Moore's passing (RIP king), this thread is being published so the Kiwis can finish what those other kids started. Never stop believing in yourselves.
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