Parenting styles - How should a child be raised?

[23iwakura23]

I can't really answer your thing, since I had a variable upbringing, and experienced all of the types in various times in my life.

I would say that it is best to parent as a responsive-demanding parent. That makes high performing people 100%. I would say, at least for male children, though, unresponsive-demanding can be useful if the psychology is right. I lived under both at some point, and will agree responsive-demanding is best, but for a male child, unresponsive-demanding can kinda create "daddy issues". But for a male, instead of a woman, the way to please one's father-spook isn't to be a whore, but to satisfy the objectives of the high-demands that were never reciprocated.

Like for me, my high demand, low response father figure was this ex-mil dude who was hardcore, but just not a responsive parent. A lot of my own drive, I find, is about trying to "out do" him so that when he dies, he's embarrassed by how much better I am than him. It's definitely not a "healthy" mindset, but it's still a "useful" mindset, because it still motivates me to do well, and my own family now that I'm an adult, does very well, because I strive to do well for them.

So to this, the responsive-demanding creates a most perfect person, but I'd say that, at least for men, the unresponsive-demanding can create someone who still does pretty well, even if there's a bit of stupid shit under the hood. I'd say for women, it just makes them daddy-issue stereotypes, though.

 

[Welfare Bum]

I can't abide by the framework because it assumes parenting styles have anything more than a small impact (equal to or below 7%) on the child's behavior as they grow into adults.

You cannot mold a child into being the person you want them to be. You cannot instill things like work ethic, moral concern (not what is right or wrong, whether they care), intelligence, religiosity, etc. Your child either has those things or they don't. Try and discover if they do, of course. But if they don't, there's nothing you can do to make it "click" because there is nothing there to click. Try to force it and they'll only resent you for it, having gained nothing.

The way people are is determined by their genetics. They will never not have their genetics pushing them towards or away from certain behaviors. Trying to deny your genetic predispositions isn't a battle you can win and that be it. It's lifelong. So acceptance is the best course of action. So for your child, you have to accept they are who they are, and it is your job as a parent to help ensure your child grows into the person they are meant to be, and not traumatize them. Trauma is the most influence you'll ever have over your kid's life, and it does nothing but fuck them up and reduce their potential. So don't do that.

So just understand who your child is and what they need. Your "parenting style" should follow based on that.

 

[Dr Cruel]

AOL: The ’60s parenting practices we now know were terrible for kids’ brains

Practice 3: Using Fear-Based Discipline​

Practice 5: Letting Kids Roam Unsupervised All Day​

Practice 6: Ignoring Kids’ Emotional Struggles ​

Practice 10: Strict Gender Roles Limiting Activities ​

Practice 12: Expecting Kids to “Tough It Out”​

We don't hate the woke enough.

We should do as the Muslims do - teach our children to make jihad against the Left fascist unbelievers.