Our Gorl on YouNow - 1/22/2019

[Northshire Cleric]

So today AL ruins another perfectly good joke by insisting (again) that it's not her face, it's the camera.

She actually seems to believe this (and brings it up preemptively, no less) which honestly disturbs me. She used to blame the lighting, which was at least feasible on this plane of existence. But now she truly believes the actual camera is making her look fat.

I used to wonder what would happen when she ran out of excuses and had to face facts. What a fool I was; there's always another (preposterous) excuse.

I think I'm moving up my RIP ALR timeline after this one.

To defend and debunk, different cameras can change how big you look. Thing as far as I can tell there's no reason for AL to have a more extreme lens for her webcam or what she films her vlogs with. 50-55mm is standard for most phone cameras. Couldn't find the average for webcams or what AL films with, so if anyone knows feel free to add. It's a lot of deep math though.

Not that it matters. Still fat.

Spoiler

 

[Long time lurker]

She must have a bank account though, because where else to put her youtubey cash?

I suspect one of the reasons she moves so fast from girlfriend to girlfriend is because she uses their bank accounts.

Everyone says "Becky gets gifts and free rent", but surely even working TWO minimum wage/waitressing/menial labour jobs to support herself would be better than putting up with Hamber. I honestly can't imagine how it would be worth it!

Becky is working way more than just two jobs:
- maid: she cleans for Amber and around her,
- driver on call 24/7,
- cook whenever Amber doesn't feel like doing it herself,
- care taker,
- pet sitter and dog walker,
- psychologist/priest (she's the one hearing all about the mean haydurz, how life is unfair to Amber etc, etc)

Even in places where there are still live-in maids the bosses/family have a schedule so that the maid(s) don't work overtime, have the weekend off and when the working day is over, they have a room of their own. Becky doesn't even have that.

Edited:

Couldn't find the average for webcams or what AL films with,

She was using a Canon G7X

 

[Northshire Cleric]

She was using a Canon G7X

Super helpful! Again someone might need to correct me it's been a while, but a 8-36mm zoom lens should be slimming. 8mm is used for fisheye photos, that's how low it is. It seems way lower than standard; most DSLRs come with a zoom lens of about 18-55mm. Unless I'm missing something, maybe our gorl knew it would be slimming.


So let's assume for a second her webcam is 50mm (if not her webcam, imagine her phone since 50mm is normal for a phone) since they tend to be a bit more zoomed out, otherwise the face would be to close to the cam in a lot of cases. If it's higher than 36mm, then it would make her look rounder. Thing is, 50mm is considered the most realistic focal length.

Basically, she's even fatter than she looks in vlogs.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

Super helpful! Again someone might need to correct me it's been a while, but a 8-36mm zoom lens should be slimming. 8mm is used for fisheye photos, that's how low it is. It seems way lower than standard; most DSLRs come with a zoom lens of about 18-55mm. Unless I'm missing something, maybe our gorl knew it would be slimming.


So let's assume for a second her webcam is 50mm (if not her webcam, imagine her phone since 50mm is normal for a phone) since they tend to be a bit more zoomed out, otherwise the face would be to close to the cam in a lot of cases. If it's higher than 36mm, then it would make her look rounder. Thing is, 50mm is considered the most realistic focal length.

Basically, she's even fatter than she looks in vlogs.

So if I'm understanding this properly, it's not, "the camera's making me look inaccurately fat". It's more like, "this camera is failing to make me look inaccurately thin".

I'm not sure if that rehabilitates the joke or not, but I stand corrected.

 

[Sidney Crosby]

Lezbereal, she needs to film her YouNows with a drone 100ft up in the air if she wants to look smaller.