🥝 Community Official Kiwi Farms Game Jam - BEE JAMS! (Haha) BEE JAMS!!!!! (wheezing) BEE JAMS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, BEEEEEEEEE JAAAAAAAAAMS!!! (AHahahaha-Ha!)

[StacticShock]

Do you know what would be funnier than this? Visual novel about dating Kiwi Farms users

basically the kiwi date thread gamified?

Finally, an excuse for me to learn RPG Maker. Since there are so many versions for me to choose from, can I get some recommendations on what version of RPG Maker I should go with?

if you want a ton of weird action shit, VX/MV.
if you just want regular rpgmaker, pick the steam one.

I have two ideas for games and I'm too retarded to do either.
Maybe I'll learn Godot or something of the sort to get it done just for fun

you can use the kiwijam as inspiration and continue from there, there have been cases of games that started in jams and evolved further like FTL and Risk of Rain before both devs became retarded, funningly enough.

oh you niggers can also use Construct 2, it's piss fucking easy to make shit in there and you can crack it to remove the free 200 actions limit, looking around my computer i found my sauces where i used the free version to do my exam, lol.

looking back being limited to 200 actions truly made me rethink many things to make a shitty game in less than a week, damn.

there is construct 3 too but i don't know how it's going, when i heard about it the damn thing was still in alpha, here's a cutout i found about the construct 3 site btw.


i sincerely hope you guys can do your stuff no matter the engine and have fun, sneed on, kiwis.

 

[Orphaned Punk]

And to clarify the rules since I'm a lurker most of all. If I call you a niggerfaggot-trannykike would I be qualified now?

Lurking makes you a user of KF, you can participate at your leisure.
Calling me a niggerfaggot-trannykike, while being a lurker with an older account, will only earn more of my respect.

Spoiler: WHY do this at all?

I mainly wanted to prune lazy grifters and slop-creators. I can't stand that every platform is a symbiotic web of milk-toast, non-experimental, and neutered makers, commentators, and players restricted by their platforms and payment processors. I always know what to expect and I'm never surprised. Even the usual suspects of edgier websites use Itch.io (who in all reality could mass-prune the retards given they consistently break off-site TOS).

KF has always been, in my mind, on the cutting edge. If that were the case for games, I'd be happy since no other website cuts it for me anymore. When KF goes down, I literally stop casually using the Internet since everything else sorta sucks.

I cannot physically stand it.

The inner-workings of the modern Internet is physically nauseating, demoralizing, and debilitating.

Hopefully this foray breathes new life into a medium I once frantically adored and offers me a home for my creative endeavors once downloading and playing games from KF is normalized, just like the website's mere existence itself.

I picture the next "thing" being made by a Kiwi. A "thing" few can enjoy. A "thing" that will push boundaries for all by being the "thing."

If I were to play an incredibly simple non-assuming game, only to have a text-box pop up and a cute kiwi-bird say "Oh! It's a single rendered textbox that reads, NIGGER-FAGGOT" suddenly, I would also be pretty happy with the results.

 

[analrapist]

I mainly wanted to prune lazy grifters and slop-creators. I can't stand that every platform is a symbiotic web of milk-toast, non-experimental, and neutered makers, commentators, and players restricted by their platforms and payment processors. I always know what to expect and I'm never surprised. Even the usual suspects of edgier websites use Itch.io (who in all reality could mass-prune the retards given they consistently break off-site TOS).

The idea I had that I've been refining as a consequence of the Jam announcement won't possibly be managed for the Jam, so I'm going to rein my sights in and try something simpler, thanks to your explanation here. Maybe. Regardless, this is actually inspiring to me. Thank you for the notion, if nothing else. I'm not sure if I can truncate my ideas to fit in your Game Jam context, but when these ideas come to fruition, I'll be sure to tag you here and credit you as an inspiration.

Edit: Did a little looking into NES dev for this, and https://github.com/igwgames/nes-starter-kit is not only a starting point for a Zelda 1 style game, but also has great links to other toolkits for NES dev. Some will let you code in C, too, if 6502 ASM scares you. There are a LOT of tools for working with NES resources! And NES ROMs are well-understood, so you save your potential users the fear of running weird executables they don't know.

 

[Homocull]

1. Search for Turn Windows features on or off
2. Enable "Windows Sandbox"


3. Make a file with .wsb extension and put this inside

Spoiler: Config

<Configuration>
<vGPU>Enable</vGPU>
<Networking>Disable</Networking>
<MappedFolders>
    <MappedFolder>
        <HostFolder>C:\Games\Jam\</HostFolder>
        <ReadOnly>true</ReadOnly>
        <SandboxFolder>C:\Games\Jam\</SandboxFolder>
    </MappedFolder>
</MappedFolders>
</Configuration>

4. Double click the .wsb, stuff will be in C: \Games\Jam\ on the sandbox (provided you have that folder on the host)

It's basically a hassle-free Hyper-V vm. People should be encouraged to do whatever the fuck they want tbh (if you can one click export to web and everything works, awesome. It shouldn't even be in the back of your mind when making shit however)

Getting rekt is a real concern, do the bare minimum to setup a VM and you can stop worrying about that. If someone manages to escape said VM they deserve the $150
I hope there aren't niggers here lazy enough to not want to download shit like the average itch.io user whose brain works on autopilot while scrolling a jam page.

so you save your potential users the fear of running weird executables they don't know.

You're still fucked if the emulator has an exploit.
Granted it would be infinitely more effort than a braindead exe malware, but so would making a game for the NES without instantly being mogged by the guy next to you using some shit like Godot. Not flaming real retro games, it's just that you're working with very clear limitations that require skill to work around. Though I suppose some people use that to keep their scope in check.

 

[CrunkLord420]

Honestly you should be targeting HTML5/WASM/Emscripten as your primary game jam platform. Your engine should support this, this is how you should expect to share your game.

nesdev is cool btw, highly recommended.

 

[Spaced Outside Cargo]

I mainly wanted to prune lazy grifters and slop-creators.

You can minimize this next time by revealing a super-specific-yet-modular theme on the official starting day with no setup time. That way you can somewhat control what people produce and you can score based on usage of theme.
For example, many slop producers and grifters will have a hard time cobbling together a game under the category "Messing with Fat People" or "2025 Minstrel Show", revealed on the starting day.
Im sure people will be creative regardless but the theme feels a little broad. It might be for the best, though, so everyone can figure out their setup and how to participate in a game jam.

 

[Open Face]

There's also PuzzleScript for another limited and simple tool. I think you can upload games directly to their website too.

 

[Radovan Karadžić]

To confirm, there won't be a specific theme for this Jam, so anything goes, correct?

 

[Orphaned Punk]

To confirm, there won't be a specific theme for this Jam, so anything goes, correct?

“Powered by Kiwi Farms“ can be taken any way you want. From the lolcow content, unique users (you), or hobbyist threads supplementing traffic during lolcow downtime, KF can be whatever it means to you.
do whatever and have fun

 

[liam dees]

There's also PuzzleScript for another limited and simple tool. I think you can upload games directly to their website too.

Is this restricted to just puzzle games?

 

[LoogerLike]

I'd love to participate! If anyone needs a 2D artist let me know! My work is pretty messy but it's the thought that counts, right?

Made this guy as practice just now, look at him go!

Spoiler: Other Art I've Made for the Farms

When it comes to game design and programming I am a useless retard, but with art, I think I can be a useful retard. I suck at isometric, but I'm willing to try anything. So if you need an art slave, I'm game.

 

[Spaced Outside Cargo]

I'm curious to see how the turnout ends up for this because if there's enough developers for it, we could maybe do something like Boatmurdered where we start off with a vague game concept and pass it to a new "dev" every month.
Did some planning for the next month and I'll find some time to make something small and (hopefully) fun in Pico 8 for this jam.

 

[Orphaned Punk]

What I made learning Blender. It's the Kiwi. (Bird modeling how 2) (Rigging how 2)

Boat Murdered game-dev sounds interesting, yet I'd wish not to fatigue a user-base who may be primarily interested in lolcows exclusively. Yearly game jams seem perfectly fine and I personally wouldn't want to complicate things in this creative domain.

 

[gata]

I don't have any talent in game development and I have no time to try it but if any kiwi is going to join in now or next year, but don't have an idea for their entry, let me give you one:
A warioware style game with a kiwifarms theme

Pros:

• Mini games are easy, quick and simple
• You can put so many lolcows and their memes. lots of creative potential.
• Lots of funny and politically incorrect things you can do

Cons:

• Needs a lot of art assets
• Probably too much programming for many mini games
• Will be too long and will have to have a limit the number of mini games to make

Spoiler: Mini-game ideas

• Bossman stake games, if you fuck up he punches the wall and rats giggle or if you succeed he says "DAMN THAT PUSSY NICE"
• catching mini-game but with your deathfat of choice, catching food with their mouth
• Try to attach a rot dog to a pooner, if you succeed the little pooner femininely cries dood!!!
• woman tries to dodge trannies in the bathroom
• Spot the troon in a lesbian bar picture
• Llama tries to escape the tranch
• a Ralph mini game where he tries to find his pills
• DSP dodging a dark souls boss
• Driving mini game where saint Terry runs over glowniggers
• Something with Jim's driveway
• Pouring troon shine in a bottle
• Mald banning trolls in his chat
• Fatrick childing people online
• Russel Greer putting his papers into the mailbox
• Dancing Anachans DDR style
• Catching and deporting Mexicans
• Shooting crying emojis (lolitroons)
• Null trying to connect his internet cable or something
• Connect the train tracks so that soyjacks will pass by safely
• Balldo man trying to snort his cocaine in a straight line

 

[Open Face]

The pixel art and sprite animation program aseprite is free as long as you don't mind building it from the source files yourself. It's not that hard as it only has a few dependencies and they include a script that does the commands for you once you have everything.

 

[Coolio55]

The pixel art and sprite animation program aseprite is free as long as you don't mind building it from the source files yourself. It's not that hard as it only has a few dependencies and they include a script that does the commands for you once you have everything.

You can also just download the Libresprite fork.

 

[CrunkLord420]

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What I made learning Blender. It's the Kiwi. (Bird modeling how 2) (Rigging how 2)

Boat Murdered game-dev sounds interesting, yet I'd wish not to fatigue a user-base who may be primarily interested in lolcows exclusively. Yearly game jams seem perfectly fine and I personally wouldn't want to complicate things in this creative domain.

If you post a GLTF I may end up adding to the CyberChud engine, it looks low poly enough.

Reminder sharing .blend files can be an OPSEC problem, in particular it may include full file paths and other information about the computer it was created on. I do not understand the blend format well enough to truly understand how to sanitize it. For that reason I only upload the exported GLTF files to my repos.

 

[Jotch]

If you post a GLTF I may end up adding to the CyberChud engine, it looks low poly enough.

Reminder sharing .blend files can be an OPSEC problem, in particular it may include full file paths and other information about the computer it was created on. I do not understand the blend format well enough to truly understand how to sanitize it. For that reason I only upload the exported GLTF files to my repos.

How many polygons can CCE support at once?

 

[CrunkLord420]

How many polygons can CCE support at once?

There's no hard polygon limit, it's just slow to render stuff on the CPU. The real limitation is around animation: max of 4 children per bone, only quaternion rotations, no scaling. diffuse+normal map only.

 

[ArgonianVoter]

when did we get a game jam?

How many polygons can CCE support at once?

if I understand what you're talking about it's going to benchmark on a high end system at 60 thousand simultaneous tri/poly deforms. or about 1-5 million simple static polys per frame. aka you'll get less than 100k polys per scene.

And if I misunderstood then i'm happy to spread misinformation anyways : )