Oct 22 - Diplomatic Overview

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I get mad at myself for getting mad about Jay. I don't hate any of the lolcows out there, but I loathe this piece of shit. Even Nick Bate is seeking therapy and admits that he has serious personal issues. Jay is like a baby who shit his diaper. It stinks, but it's warm and comfortable and he doesn't want to get out. He's the most pathetic person I've come across, and I went to a high school full of juggalos.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I get mad at myself for getting mad about Jay. I don't hate any of the lolcows out there. Even Nick Bate is seeking therapy and admits that he has serious personal issues. Jay is like a baby who shit his diaper. It stinks, but it's warm and comfortable and he doesn't want to get out. He's the most pathetic person I've come across, and I went to a high school full of juggalos.

I wanted to say you're talking about Chris with the shitting the diapers thing but...are they really different at this point? Because they are so similar now, it's like the only major difference is they're at opposite ends of the financial spectrum. Two sides of the same coin.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I wanted to say you're talking about Chris with the shitting the diapers thing but...are they really different at this point?

Chris used to be funny until the trolls broke him. Jay is completely and utterly worthless.

 

[Fashhole]

... So every bullet here could be used to make the case that Jay's Autistic. LONG POST WARNING

Up until now, I lost sight of THE Golden Rule: Think of every person I see as if that person were ME!
"as if that person were ME!" is a theory of mind issue. Theory of mind allows us to recognize that other people have different points of view and feelings than us. This is his attempt to understand the golden rule in the only way he can. He takes this rule the literal step forward into assuming they ARE him.

I have a giant ego, but I am happy with having it. (Wayside reference in a later journal) They are not.
Of course Jay is happy with this - it allows him to shield himself from realizing his lack of accomplishments in life. This is a coping mechanism people with other disorders may use too. On top of that, his autism allows him limited self insight and gives him (obviously) stunted social ability.

I am probably autistic. For good or bad, the label is not as important as what it means. I'll spare the lecture about autism this time!
The fact that he says the "label" is not important and that on DA he said "therapy is a placebo" proves he knows nothing. Autism is a spectrum disorder that disrupts functioning in all ways of life on a significant level and the DSM's criteria encompasses many of his problems. Jay has social struggles, his theory of mind is lacking, he has narrow obsessive interests, he's easily decieved, he has extensive fantasy, he understands concrete constructs better than abstract, etc.

I emotionally abused Heather by hoping I could develop her into my perfect match. Heather, I am officially sorry for forcing such upon you.
Of course Jay, enough neurotypicals have told you. If he can't deal with more abstract constructs then it means nothing. He might literally have to be told, "hey, this is what you do in a healthy relationship. This is what you don't do. This is abusive..." etc.

Oddly, I feel they are enacting the same emotional abuse onto me, trying to mold me into someone I am not.
The forums people make him feel bad. Emotional abuse is making people feel bad. There's the logic I suspect. This is a grey area and Autistics have trouble with that. "Molding into someone I am not" could be pulled from the forum's assertion that he was molding Heather. Same logic I would think.

This is because according to them, the only way to expunge my bad points is to fundamentally change who I am. I like who I am.
More black and white thinking form Mr. Jay. "Fundamental change" is interesting though; resistance to change is a hallmark of Autism.

My relationship blunder is haunting me; sacrificing Heather for a better match. They did trick me, but it did teach me a lesson. I formally apologize.
He would be better off stating what lesson he learned, but it's likely the words eluded him or he figured we'd know what it was (a Theory of Mind error if true). His "I formally apologize" could either confirm this theory or the theory he isn't sorry at all. Trouble with empathy and remorse affect Autistic folks as well.

It is never cool for any adult to make any physical contact with a child, ideally not even if the adult is a parent. So says my generation.
More black and white thinking. The forums said not to touch stranger's children. He doesn't grasp the grey area.

They believe it is objectively wrong to be childish, sadistic, cheesy, or hopelessly romantic. I disagree on all counts
This is just more of him taking criticism of certain things he did certain times that he used these words to describe and blanketing it.

And most of all, they provided lots and lots and LOTS of bad-mouthing!
A lot of what was said due to his theory of mind, polarized thinking, social inability in general, etc. may not have been fully understood and as a result taken offensively. Due to polarized thinking, his impression of a lot of posts could have been clouded with his presumption that they are offensive and hurtful.

Take it as you will but this is just my impression of it; Jay's refusal to seek help is truly irritating. It's pretty obvious he has serious issues.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

And here I was thinking that maybe the Tinfoil Knave had truly had one of those moments of clarity and finally realized that he needed to change.

Oh well, back to business as usual then.

 

[StallChaser]

I saw several people say in the other thread that they were most "ashamed" of trying to help him in the first place, knowing he almost certainly wasn't going to listen. I'm sure that's partly rhetorical, but I'll just take this moment to reiterate that I don't regret trying to meet him half (or maybe three-quarters) of the way and seriously help him without giving him a bunch of guff. I really don't feel like anyone here that follows him actually has anything to lose by doing that.

What'll happen if he doesn't take that advice? He goes right back to being that muletted royal ass-hat that everyone laughs at, but virtually no one likes. What'll happen if he somehow had a change of heart and did take our advice? He pulls his head out of his ass, slowly learns how to get his shit in order and maybe ends up leading an adjusted semi-normal life. Seeing a lolcow turn things around is just as entertaining as anything they can possibly do while they are a lolcow IMO.

This is so true. A lolcow isn't entertaining for reacting poorly to people being dicks. They're entertaining for reacting poorly to reasonable people, who are often trying to help them. A big part of what made Chris such a lolcow is how much he alienated white knights. Or at the very least, people who are trying to offer helpful advice without outright white knighting. This is the path Jay is going down.

Being as civil as possible (it's not always possible) creates a sort of win-win situation. Either the lolcow can react hilariously or stop being a lolcow. Being a dick only squanders that, because a lolcow reaction doesn't look much different than a fairly typical overreaction to dickishness.