Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

Bhanu Gopal
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This will be shorter than my last post because there's less content here. Bhanu Gopal is a gay Indian IT agent who appeared on the 46th (yes, really) season of Survivor, where he continually embarrassed himself and got voted out in the fourth episode, leaving a legacy as one of the worst Survivor players of all time.

I don't know much about Bhanu's life before he appeared on Survivor. He immigrated to the US as an adult in 2013. Although he apparently works in IT, his background is in "Indian Classical Dance." He is an aspiring actor who has appeared in short films and been an extra in a handful of big name movies and commercials. So far as I can tell, his social media presence is limited to an Instagram account where he posts dance videos. He seems interested in spiritualism and self-help.

Bhanu's big break was appearing on Survivor. For the five or six of you who don't know already, Survivor is a reality TV show in which people are divided into tribes that compete in challenges. Whichever tribe loses the challenge has to vote for a player to leave the tribe, at which point he's eliminated and can no longer influence the game. Whoever's left after everyone else was voted out wins one million dollars. It's a little more complicated than that, but that's everything you need to know to understand this post.

Bhanu's Survivor experience was pretty bad. He was on the Yanu tribe, which was the weakest one that season, and they lost every challenge. Bhanu actually flew under the radar for a little bit because the other members of his tribe were also insane; in the first episode, he participated in voting off slot machine salesman and general lunatic David Jelinsky. He also survived the second episode, where they voted off Jess Chong, a woman so sleep-deprived that she had started eating ants in her delusion. However, there were a few cracks in his facade here; he erupted in a screaming fit at Jess during the challenge, and at tribal council, he got on his hands and knees to beg not to get voted out, even though nobody had even considered voting him out before this. In fact, he groveled to every member of his tribe individually, thus making his own disloyalty very clear.

Bhanu's nonstop spergathon started here. He spent the entire third episode oscillating between rage, despair, and pathetic desperation. He cried and begged for hugs. He cursed out God for putting him on the show. He dropped the line "I don't want to win a million dollars, I want to win a million hearts." He begged tribemates to find idols for him, which you understand is ridiculous if you're knowledgeable of Survivor. At one point, he got the opportunity to talk to members of the other tribes, and immediately spilled all of his tribemates' secrets unprompted. He was a dead man walking going into tribal council... until it got cancelled, because another player on another tribe had to get medically evacuated for a slipped disk, a fact Bhanu promptly celebrated. This won him all of three days, because in the fourth episode, Yanu lost again, and Bhanu had yet another mental breakdown, repeating all the same behavior. In the end, the showrunners opted not to even have a proper vote and to just have everyone verbally agree that Bhanu was eliminated. They'd done this a few times beforehand, but this is the first time they had ever done it because the vote was too obvious.

Survivor fans hated Bhanu. Survivor episodes are ninety minutes long, and two of them were basically nothing but continuous crying and begging. In addition to being sad and pathetic, Bhanu came off really sleazy and manipulative, clearly expecting the others on his tribe to give up their games in service of him so long as they understood how sad he was. I don't think words do justice to how uncomfortable this was to watch, but I promise you, it was the cringiest thing I had ever seen on television. To my knowledge, Bhanu has never been invited to do anything Survivor related since, which is very unusual in the community.

Is there a thread for reality TV lolcows? It feels intuitive, because so much of reality TV mocks weirdos, but I think it's somewhat underrepresented here.
 
Última edición:
Stumbled upon a rabbit hole while browsing TV Tropes earlier today out of boredom. Apologies in advance for the jumbled up writing I've got here.

The following fanfics showed up on the "Author Appeal" page while I was reading about some game, and I'm pretty sure the dedicated pages on TV Tropes made for these relatively obscure fanfics were done by the author himself.

One of these is "Earthbound but it's Lucky Star and they also have beehive hairdos" because I guess it's the guy's fetish. Despite the trope page, the number of likes, follows, and reviews of said fanfic are only in the single-digit range. The other one I found is "Madoka Magica but they all turn into fat fucks and get eaten by monsters." It also seems to be quite obscure from the ratings on the fanfiction site it's on.

Is this a common thing TV Tropes users do? Make pages about their own shit and crosslink it everywhere across the site?

Anyway, meet DMXRated, aka Economy aka McKnight aka SeaRover and probably other usernames I couldn't find through his YouTube channel.

The qualities are all there for a classic lolcow in a similar vein to someone like JustinRPG. Autistic middle-aged man, seemingly zero self-awareness, bizarre fetishes/fixations, and giving way too much personal info out about himself online.

I think this video kinda "sells him" as far as unhinged cows go. 16 minutes of a guy with a stereotypical neckbeard voice talking about his Earthbound hack to give Paula 20 different shades of brown hair and his fetish for brunettes. Complete with a face reveal for absolutely no reason.

He's got his DeviantArt, Fanfiction.net, Reddit, and a personal blog all linked on his YouTube channel's profile. First two are full of stuff involving his fetishes which include, but are not limited to brown hair, beehive hairdos, weight gain, diaper changes, vore, and giantesses.

He also has a semi-active Twitter account, though if you wanna see his posts, you'll need to mainly check the "replies" tab.

I'm sure there's other interesting stuff if one feels like doing a deeper dive than I feel like doing, but just figured it would be worth sharing this here.
 
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