💤 Inactive Nick Bate / Nickalaus B. Stoutzenberger (Thread 1)

[José Mourinho]

Hey. Would everyone be cool if I blew up the Earth? I imagine being blown up is painless. Happens pretty quickly.

 

[RetardBus]

Hey. Would everyone be cool if I blew up the Earth? I imagine being blown up is painless. Happens pretty quickly.

I can't tell if this is just random-access humor or Nick telling us about a psychotic yet stupidly unrealistic mass murder fantasy.

 

[Mr. 0]

He probably saw a cartoon where that happened and tried to think about it. Considering how little he does the latter, it must have hurt,

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Nick's Valentine's Day woes.

It sucks that I can't really do much of anything until my wife reciprocates. My life is basically just a waiting game.

Keep being a creeper. Surely she'll eventually love you.
That's how it works in the movies, right? The creeper eventually gets the girl?

That's every romantic comedy ever.

Except they have charm. Nick has a jacked up grill.

Now I wanna watch Love Actually.

 

[CWCissey]

Now I wanna watch Love Actually.

GO HOME YOU'RE DRUNK!

 

[Connor Bible]

Has anything been DONE about this guy yet?

 

[exball]

Has anything been DONE about this guy yet?

Not really.

 

[Connor Bible]

^Fuck me. Or rather, fuck him...

 

[RP 520]

Has anything been DONE about this guy yet?

Well his therapist got him to write out a murder fantasy and got him locked up for a few days. My guess is this was her attempt at getting him locked away for good as I imagine she's one of the few that knows how truly warped and creepy Nick is.

 

[telegramsamo]

Some choice bits from Nick's Twitter:

Discovered I Can Has Cheezburger has a Doctor Who section. Broosed p much the entire day.

I awake to another terrible day withoot my wife. When will the misery cease?

I wonder if Wife would love me if I became hotter. She doesn't seem to care aboot personality considering who she's dated before.

@NickBate if you loved or even had basic human respect for her then you'd leave her alone.

And Nick responded:

I do have both. It is from love that I do these things. I want to make her happy.

Argh! Why do I always wake up before my dreams can end properly? This one was aboot to becone sexytiems.

Every time I see another person, I think "ew, two or more people probably had vaginal sex to create that". I should stop looking at people.

Went to McDonald's. Sadly I only had four USD on me so I just got a McChicken, cheeseburger and large coffee.

 

[Ca Ira]

Nick Bate is like the Clare Quilty to Chris's Humbert Humbert.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

Somebody should point out to him that he wrote 'USD' and not 'ooSD'.

 

[Coldgrip]

So you're saying that one day Chris is going to shoot him?

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Somebody should point out to him that he wrote 'USD' and not 'ooSD'.

Come to think of it, why the hell would you say "USD" when you live in the US and use the money every day and the majority of the people you talk to are American? I mean, the only two currencies I refer to on a daily basis are "dollars" and "pesos" (referring to the Philippine peso). I don't call them "US dollars" or "Filipino pesos" though. Just dollars and pesos.

 

[UnwiseKhan]

Somebody should point out to him that he wrote 'USD' and not 'ooSD'.

Come to think of it, why the hell would you say "USD" when you live in the US and use the money every day and the majority of the people you talk to are American? I mean, the only two currencies I refer to on a daily basis are "dollars" and "pesos" (referring to the Philippine peso). I don't call them "US dollars" or "Filipino pesos" though. Just dollars and pesos.

USD is just how they're abbreviated, and maybe he was worried about character count on Twitter. Who knows though, maybe it has something to do with his obsession with being Canadian.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Somebody should point out to him that he wrote 'USD' and not 'ooSD'.

Come to think of it, why the hell would you say "USD" when you live in the US and use the money every day and the majority of the people you talk to are American? I mean, the only two currencies I refer to on a daily basis are "dollars" and "pesos" (referring to the Philippine peso). I don't call them "US dollars" or "Filipino pesos" though. Just dollars and pesos.

USD is just how they're abbreviated, and maybe he was worried about character count on Twitter. Who knows though, maybe it has something to do with his obsession with being Canadian.

He coulda just wrote "$4", so it's probably the Canadian angle.

 

[José Mourinho]

Great. To stop my cat from peeing on my desk I put a bunch of stuff on it so he can't even get up there, so he goes and pees UNDER it.

 

[Sonic Speed Monkey]

Great. To stop my cat from peeing on my desk I put a bunch of stuff on it so he can't even get up there, so he goes and pees UNDER it.

It's probably because the litter box hasn't been changed in months, I wager. Cats will often go elsewhere if their box is too dirty to use, and I don't blame them. I really want to save that cat from having to live in the same vicinity as NIck.

 

[telegramsamo]

Nick Bate:
Four years later and I still wanna do my ex in the butt. I suspect I never get over anything.

 

[CWCissey]

Nick Bate:
Four years later and I still wanna do my ex in the butt. I suspect I never get over anything.