💤 Inactive Nick Bate / Nickalaus B. Stoutzenberger (Thread 1)

[Surtur]

Anyone want me to film myself a2ming myself? Idk when I'll be able to upload it, but does anyone wanna see that? I can take it p hard.

I hate to be the dumbass, but... What the fuck is he talking about here?

There goes my lunch.

 

[Christ-Chan]

It's been said before, but there are only three things that Nick says that are true:
-He is obsessed with Anna
-He is obsessed with cartoons, They Might Be Giants and Canada
-He is stupid (but not as stupid as he wants you to believe)

He is a compulsive liar who only wants attention. Back on /CWC/ people tried contacting authorities several times and it always became clear that all his admissions are inconsistent and when his mail was hacked a lot of emails between him and his friends were revealed where he privately admitted that 90% of what he posts is a facade.

His teeth are still gross though.

 

[CalmMyTits]

I know people have different fetishes and quirks, I have my own, but a2m is one of these that I simply can never wrap my head around.

 

[Saney]

I wonder if my wife bathes. I hope not. That's extremely dangerous and I'm not there to protect her yet. Also I enjoy her sweat and stuff.

...What?

There're diseases that only affect certain species somehoo, yes? So, would it be possible to wipe oot all humans with a manmade plague?
Scientists should look into that. Humans need to be destroyed but other animals are okay. Especially cats. Cats can stay. They're cool.

What.

Y'know, if Hitler had anal, he wouldn't have allegedly killed people. Anal makes existence better for everyone. Wouldn't've been so pissed.

What?!

 

[Bob's Fries]

I wonder if my wife bathes. I hope not. That's extremely dangerous and I'm not there to protect her yet. Also I enjoy her sweat and stuff.

...What?

There're diseases that only affect certain species somehoo, yes? So, would it be possible to wipe oot all humans with a manmade plague?
Scientists should look into that. Humans need to be destroyed but other animals are okay. Especially cats. Cats can stay. They're cool.

What.

Y'know, if Hitler had anal, he wouldn't have allegedly killed people. Anal makes existence better for everyone. Wouldn't've been so pissed.

What?!

Nick. Here's my message to you.

 

[random_pickle]

It's been said before, but there are only three things that Nick says that are true:
-He is obsessed with Anna
-He is obsessed with cartoons, They Might Be Giants and Canada
-He is stupid (but not as stupid as he wants you to believe)

He is a compulsive liar who only wants attention. Back on /CWC/ people tried contacting authorities several times and it always became clear that all his admissions are inconsistent and when his mail was hacked a lot of emails between him and his friends were revealed where he privately admitted that 90% of what he posts is a facade.

His teeth are still gross though.

I hope the child molestation is part of that 90%

 

[pickleniggo]

It's been said before, but there are only three things that Nick says that are true:
-He is obsessed with Anna
-He is obsessed with cartoons, They Might Be Giants and Canada
-He is stupid (but not as stupid as he wants you to believe)

He is a compulsive liar who only wants attention. Back on /CWC/ people tried contacting authorities several times and it always became clear that all his admissions are inconsistent and when his mail was hacked a lot of emails between him and his friends were revealed where he privately admitted that 90% of what he posts is a facade.

His teeth are still gross though.

Compulsive liars are some of the creepiest people. I know a girl who blatantly lies about being pregnant every now and then and then has "miscarriages". She goes to great lengths to "prove" her pregnancy, including (poorly) photoshopping random sonograms with her name. She's done this so many times that my friends and I start betting pools on when she'll announce the loss of the "fetus".
The scariest thing about these people is that they start to believe their own lies and if confronted with evidence to the contrary, they become violently outraged.

 

[Null]

The thing I hate about him the most is his intentional misspellings of common words.

 

[MysticMisty]

Compulsive liars are some of the creepiest people. I know a girl who blatantly lies about being pregnant every now and then and then has "miscarriages". She goes to great lengths to "prove" her pregnancy, including (poorly) photoshopping random sonograms with her name. She's done this so many times that my friends and I start betting pools on when she'll announce the loss of the "fetus".
The scariest thing about these people is that they start to believe their own lies and if confronted with evidence to the contrary, they become violently outraged.

What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with her? Faking pregnancy and then a miscarriage is horrible, and she's done this multiple times? There is something seriously fucking wrong with her, I'm thinking Munchausen syndrome.

 

[TL 611]

Oh dude I've known people to do that, it's quite common. People do it just after breakups to try and keep the person, but one can't pretend to be pregnant long before people get suspicious so liars lie their way out of it by saying miscarriage.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Oh dude I've known people to do that, it's quite common. People do it just after breakups to try and keep the person, but one can't pretend to be pregnant long before people get suspicious so liars lie their way out of it by saying miscarriage.

Or, in thankfully rare cases, they'll stalk a pregnant woman, infiltrate her life, murder her, and then perform a very amateur Caesarean and claim the baby as their own. For a multitude of reasons, this doesn't work all that well -- they'll forget to tell their closest friends, relatives, neighbors etc. that they're "pregnant." And then they turn up one day with a nearly full-term baby -- but no preparations for it, like a freaking crib... As I said, thankfully really damn rare.

And despite the many "safe haven" laws in states around the US (in which you can leave a baby at a hospital, fire station, etc. with no questions asked whatsoever and then be gone with the wind), pregnant teenagers keep doing the reverse: hiding their actual pregnancy from family out of shame and religious objection to abortion, then delivering the baby into a toilet (because they can't distinguish labor pain from really bad gas), then disposing of the body in some insanely amateurish way that gets them caught. There was a new case of this just very recently. Thanks, abstinence-only sex ed (one of whose messages is that condoms don't work)! There was a reasonably famous case of this where the girl delivered at her senior prom and had at least one accomplice to the disposal.

There just seems to be something about the whole pregnancy thing that turns otherwise ordinary people into dangerous shuddercows.

 

[pickleniggo]

Compulsive liars are some of the creepiest people. I know a girl who blatantly lies about being pregnant every now and then and then has "miscarriages". She goes to great lengths to "prove" her pregnancy, including (poorly) photoshopping random sonograms with her name. She's done this so many times that my friends and I start betting pools on when she'll announce the loss of the "fetus".
The scariest thing about these people is that they start to believe their own lies and if confronted with evidence to the contrary, they become violently outraged.

What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with her? Faking pregnancy and then a miscarriage is horrible, and she's done this multiple times? There is something seriously fucking wrong with her, I'm thinking Munchausen syndrome.

The pregnancy bit is just one of her charades - she has a whole network of fake facebook pages for "boyfriends" who just happen to propose to her within two months of "dating". She's posted pictures of engagement rings on what clearly are NOT her hands. We also think a lot of her "friends" pages are fake as well. It's really, really creepy.

 

[Saney]

[In reply to Nick's Hitler tweet]He did. And he had a shif fetish too.

oh sweet, Hitler becomes more and more appealing to me all the time

...
Hey, Judge Holden, you mind if borrow that "I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream" quote?

 

[Judge Holden]

[In reply to Nick's Hitler tweet]He did. And he had a shif fetish too.

oh sweet, Hitler becomes more and more appealing to me all the time

...
Hey, Judge Holden, you mind if borrow that "I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream" quote?

Be my guest, and feel free to add in an extra stanza on how you want to see him anally violated with a chainsaw

 

[Saney]

[In reply to Nick's Hitler tweet]He did. And he had a shif fetish too.

oh sweet, Hitler becomes more and more appealing to me all the time

...
Hey, Judge Holden, you mind if borrow that "I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream" quote?

Be my guest, and feel free to add in an extra stanza on how you want to see him anally violated with a chainsaw

But he might like that...

 

[Bob's Fries]

Then sew his asshole shut.

 

[Judge Holden]

Then sew his asshole shut.

with another chainsaw

 

[CalmMyTits]

Speaking of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, the perfect punishment for Nick would be to turn him into a creature with no anus, and replace his penis/balls with a constantly dripping/seeping vagina. Having no anus, AND a 'gross' vagina would be the ultimate torture for him.

 

[Judge Holden]

^ he would still find some way of gaining sick, sick enjoyment out of that. Maybe by claiming it was his "new anus" and the seeping was his "new shit"

.... god I actually wrote that. This sack of afterbirth made me write that...

 

[CalmMyTits]

^ he would still find some way of gaining sick, sick enjoyment out of that. Maybe by claiming it was his "new anus" and the seeping was his "new shit"

.... god I actually wrote that. This sack of afterbirth made me write that...

I actually laughed at that. But somehow I don't see him taking pleasure in this, his anus fixation is just... gah.

Oh I'd like to add to my original post, I'd just give him these tiny little T-Rex arms like that main character in the story (I forgot his name. Ted?) after what the AM did to him, so it would be impossible for him to pleasure himself or shove anything in there. And of course, he would also have no mouth, so he could not talk about his disgusting fixations, much less scream in horror after he realizes what was done to him.