Netflix's The Witcher series

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Because Netflix is Netflix.

You think if everyone had magic that they'd chose to be fat? Fucking lol no. Everyone would be running around hot as shit or like in Altered Carbon the dude appears middle-aged to convey a sense of wisdom. It obviously makes no sense but is a diversity mandate from Netflix itself.

Except the Astari from Lord of the Rings, although there was something to that.
 
Except the Astari from Lord of the Rings, although there was something to that.

I mean, there's always women in stories who use magic to make themselves look horrifyingly ugly to intimidate and terrorize their enemies. There are reasons for one or the other story wise, but its always one extreme or the other. Nobody ever goes: "Yeah, I have the power to defy physics and reshape my body. Instead of going for a beauty so alien it inspires awe or ugliness so terrifying it stops people's hearts, I'm just going to go for average. Like, low average, four or a five. Maybe a six, but that might be too far.'

Its ludicrous.

Netflix Writer: "We can't have women too pretty that would be completely unrealistic and against my philosophy religion!'

Also Netflix Writer: 'Hey Henry, here's your protein shake. Make sure to do 500 reps. 90% of your scenes today will be you completely naked. No no, you won't be speaking. We'll just be filming you walking in a sauna and taking a bath. Yeah, it'll be like three hours of that and 90 takes. The writing team will be on set to give pointers. We're so progressive!'

Also, if any of you watched American Psycho (which was written and directed by two lesbians lol), when Christian Bale did his shower scene naked, EVERY woman on set watched him do it in like stunning silence. This was from the director's commentary. They literally treated him like an object. So yes, that shit happens to men. Also see random women grabbing Kit Harrington's ass even though he's married and them laughing at him when he complains about blatant sexual assault. Its not a wonder he went to rehab when he wondered whether every woman on the street would try to grab his ass or crotch.
 

Hahah. This is why you don't hire a major actor you can't afford.

"Oh we just wanted to uhhh... tell the story through the women's eyes. Because uh, Polish women world war II....that's it."

Right. That's why you put the focus on two completely unknown actors instead of the seven figure blockbuster actor that everyone wants to watch. It's because wokeness. I totally believe you Netflix. It's not because you couldn't afford him with all the special effects and fantasy shit. It's a 'creative decision'. Not that you fucked up the budget and exploited your writer's wokeness.

Monster hunting is boring! Let's follow a child actress around and the politics of sorceresses. Amazing creative decision Netflix. Following shit nobody wants to see.

"Oh, he's on screen a lot."

That builds tons of confidence you fucking mongoloid. You say "Of course he's there. He's the main character." Not that 'he's on screen a lot'. It makes it sound like he's a glorified cameo.

So you can afford to pay henry SOME cash for season 1 and if season one works you can pay him more to be in season 2 on a larger footprint [maybe]
 
I mean, there's always women in stories who use magic to make themselves look horrifyingly ugly to intimidate and terrorize their enemies. There are reasons for one or the other story wise, but its always one extreme or the other. Nobody ever goes: "Yeah, I have the power to defy physics and reshape my body. Instead of going for a beauty so alien it inspires awe or ugliness so terrifying it stops people's hearts, I'm just going to go for average. Like, low average, four or a five. Maybe a six, but that might be too far.'

Its ludicrous.

Netflix Writer: "We can't have women too pretty that would be completely unrealistic and against my philosophy religion!'

Also Netflix Writer: 'Hey Henry, here's your protein shake. Make sure to do 500 reps. 90% of your scenes today will be you completely naked. No no, you won't be speaking. We'll just be filming you walking in a sauna and take a bath. Yeah, it'll be like three hours of that and 90 takes. The writing team will be on set to give pointers. We're so progressive!'

Also, if any of you watched American Psycho (which was written and directed by two lesbians lol), when Christian Bale did his shower scene naked, EVERY woman on set watched him do it in like stunning silence. This was from the director's commentary. They literally treated him like an object. So yes, that shit happens to men.

Oh I don't disagree with the general sentiment. I just wanted to bring up that exception and also female villains like say Ursula.

...also bit tmi regarding Christian Bale in American Psycho.
 
So you can afford to pay henry SOME cash for season 1 and if season one works you can pay him more to be in season 2 on a larger footprint [maybe]

I have no idea how they're going to succeed. Yennefer is extremely cold and Ciri is a child actress, which are extremely hit or miss. Not to mention they have a family dynamic. You really can't just focus on 2/3rds of that. Geralt is the draw and has always been, lets be fucking honest here. Mutant who gets no STDs, is incredibly hot, fucks hot women, saves the day and can't get anyone pregnant? Yeah, this was written for men. Even if saproski or whatever that drunken Polish fuck's name is is a progtard. The real problem with focusing on these two is that for one, nobody really wants to watch them. And two its going to involve a massive amount of politics. Its such a big flaw. Let's go over storytelling 101.

Geralt is a natural outsider. He's a drifter who goes from town to town and is barely tolerated. Which means, yes, he knows the basics, but the internal politicking of sorceresses and Kingdoms? You can introduce that gradually to the viewer through Geralt's eyes. You allow exposition without really any expository dialogue because we experience it as Geralt does. The world building would come slow because we're going through it with his eyes.

With the focus on Yen, who is already going to be familiar with all of this, its going to have to be explained. Its going to be a lot more expository I believe, unless they somehow go with Yen being completely naive. Which is also a problem, since you need a main who is experienced in the world. So either Yen is going to be completely naive going in and have to introduce us to the world and (Geralt would just be not giving a fuck I guess?) or she's already uber sorceress and its going to be exposition city.

EDIT:
I didn't think of an EVEN WORSE possibility that Ciri is the knowledgeable one, since she's a noble and all. Which puts a lot of weight on the child actress. Since that's the stupidest fucking option, I'm betting the show runners did it.

I mean, fucking pay the man. If you can't afford the title character in your series, what in the ever living fuck are you doing? Also 90% of Netflix series last like 2 seasons. If you want this to be an Epic like GoT and go for many seasons, how are you going to hold an audience if the title character is sidelined? I don't understand these people, I seriously don't. Its always a terrible fucking idea to sideline a title character and it pretty much never ever works. Usually this comes when a series is running out of gas, but to do it right out of the gate, I can't help but think that might be fatal.

Oh I don't disagree with the general sentiment. I just wanted to bring up that exception and also female villains like say Ursula.

...also bit tmi regarding Christian Bale in American Psycho.

That needs to be known. You always hear complaints from women, but never the men. It can and does happen.
 
Última edición:
I mean, fucking pay the man. If you can't afford the title character in your series, what in the ever living fuck are you doing? Also 90% of Netflix series last like 2 seasons. If you want this to be an Epic like GoT and go for many seasons, how are you going to hold an audience if the title character is sidelined? I don't understand these people, I seriously don't. Its always a terrible fucking idea to sideline a title character and it pretty much never ever works. Usually this comes when a series is running out of gas, but to do it right out of the gate, I can't help but think that might be fatal.
They cant afford to pay a 10-12 episode rate with Cavil as the star
But if they dont have a big star they will have 25-33% less views
 
They cant afford to pay a 10-12 episode rate with Cavil as the star
But if they dont have a big star they will have 25-33% less views

I get that. But a way to kill a series is to not focus on what people want to see. And have the title not be representative of the main character.

Which is why I don't understand. Typically you don't want a one and done with something like this. But you're banking on your audience being so invested and wanting to see more of Geralt, they're willing to put up with two women who are basically going to be running, politicking and hiding 90% of the time? I just don't see how that's a successful formula and ensure you can pay your main actor to be your, you know, protagonist?

How do you: Keep Geralt relevant and have an emotional relationship with Yen and Ciri while not technically being the main character and being forced to limit scenes with him artificially due to budget, have a compelling story with a very cold character and a child along with deep GoT politics right out of the gate, make sure audiences feel they haven't been bait and switched by not seeing the guy who the series is named after all that much all the while hoping the series is good enough to keep people invested so you might be able to actually pay him?

For the best studio, this would be an incredibly difficult task. For Netflix, I just don't see how this crashes and burns. I realize the paradox of needing a star and not being able to pay to use him that much, but Netflix is nowhere near competent to pull off this juggling act. If by some miracle it does, it will be due to luck and not skill. But the scrotum armor certainly does not inspire confidence in the skills of the writers and show-runner.
 
It would have been cheaper to do an all female reboot of MST3k and just have them make supposedly witty quips about gay porn as they're watching it.

Because that's what this series is going to boil down to anyways.
 
I get that. But a way to kill a series is to not focus on what people want to see. And have the title not be representative of the main character.

Which is why I don't understand. Typically you don't want a one and done with something like this. But you're banking on your audience being so invested and wanting to see more of Geralt, they're willing to put up with two women who are basically going to be running, politicking and hiding 90% of the time? I just don't see how that's a successful formula and ensure you can pay your main actor to be your, you know, protagonist?

How do you: Keep Geralt relevant and have an emotional relationship with Yen and Ciri while not technically being the main character and being forced to limit scenes with him artificially due to budget, have a compelling story with a very cold character and a child along with deep GoT politics right out of the gate, make sure audiences feel they haven't been bait and switched by not seeing the guy who the series is named after all that much all the while hoping the series is good enough to keep people invested so you might be able to actually pay him?

For the best studio, this would be an incredibly difficult task. For Netflix, I just don't see how this crashes and burns. I realize the paradox of needing a star and not being able to pay to use him that much, but Netflix is nowhere near competent to pull off this juggling act. If by some miracle it does, it will be due to luck and not skill. But the scrotum armor certainly does not inspire confidence in the skills of the writers and show-runner.
Or you pay for a "Monster of the week" styled approach with guest stars hopping in [dont have it bingable] to create the buzz instead of having Cavil make the buzz.

Have being Geralt be some ones star turn not pay day
 
Less focus on Geralt than the games is fine. Everything past the first two books focused a ton on Ciri anyway, and I always thought Yennefer didn't get enough screentime. But they could easily fuck it up too. We'll see. It's a dumb bit of virtue signalling regardless. Could mean nothing. Could mean everything.

In any case you guys that just want the games should just play the games. They're really good.

Yeah, but that really only showed bits and pieces of action sequences, what I'm worried about is when there isn't any swish fighting sequences to break the characters out of dialogue mode, how good is the dialogue and world building going to be for this.
The short bit in the beginning between Yennefer and Geralt was decent. But it's just a short clip in a trailer, so yeah.

Monster hunting is boring! Let's follow a child actress around and the politics of sorceresses. Amazing creative decision Netflix. Following shit nobody wants to see.
the books are like 10% monster hunting at most. That's actually not a change.

Because Netflix is Netflix.

You think if everyone had magic that they'd chose to be fat? Fucking lol no. Everyone would be running around hot as shit or like in Altered Carbon the dude appears middle-aged to convey a sense of wisdom. It obviously makes no sense but is a diversity mandate from Netflix itself.
Interestingly the books Netflix's Altered Carbon was based on had the same divide as the Witcher series. Dude chooses a dignified, still-good-looking-but-obviously-aged sleeve. His wife however was not the MILF she was in the show. Her sleeves were all early 20's.
 
Última edición:
Less focus on Geralt than the games is fine. Everything past the first two books focused a ton on Ciri anyway, and I always thought Yennefer didn't get enough screentime. But they could easily fuck it up too. We'll see. It's a dumb bit of virtue signalling regardless. Could mean nothing. Could mean everything.

the books are like 10% monster hunting at most. That's actually not a change.

Interestingly the books Netflix's Altered Carbon was based on had the same divide as the Witcher series. Dude chooses a dignified, still-good-looking-but-obviously-aged sleeve. His wife however was not the MILF she was in the show. Her sleeves were all early 20's.

The reasoning for it is the problem. I don't think it is virtue signaling at all, I think it is legit budgetary issues. If it were for book reasons, they'd mention that. But they didn't. They used some bullshit about Polish women or some dumbfuck analogy to try and save face.

It is honestly cheaper to have 2 unknowns than to pay for Cavil as needed. The problem was: be honest and admit they're inept or spin it for virtue points. Either way they lose face. They just chose the more acceptable loss.

My point that watching Henry Cavil hunt monsters is more fun than watching a child actress act still stands.

She was still hot though. Thinking on it, like 95% of the women in Altered Carbon were hot. Except Falconer. I didn't think she looked good or was a good actress.

Why there are so many ugly/average sorceresses in the Witcher is odd in comparison.
 
The reasoning for it is the problem. I don't think it is virtue signaling at all, I think it is legit budgetary issues. If it were for book reasons, they'd mention that. But they didn't. They used some bullshit about Polish women or some dumbfuck analogy to try and save face.

It is honestly cheaper to have 2 unknowns than to pay for Cavil as needed. The problem was: be honest and admit they're inept or spin it for virtue points. Either way they lose face. They just chose the more acceptable loss.

My point that watching Henry Cavil hunt monsters is more fun than watching a child actress act still stands.

She was still hot though. Thinking on it, like 95% of the women in Altered Carbon were hot. Except Falconer. I didn't think she looked good or was a good actress.

Why there are so many ugly/average sorceresses in the Witcher is odd in comparison.
If their main reason is budgetary then I'm more optimistic about the writing not less. Deliberately crimping his part just for virtue signalling would be a bad sign for the writing.

Besides, maybe the child actress is really good? We don't know yet,

She was still hot though. Thinking on it, like 95% of the women in Altered Carbon were hot. Except Falconer. I didn't think she looked good or was a good actress.

Why there are so many ugly/average sorceresses in the Witcher is odd in comparison.
Well Cyberpunk stuff usually has themes about commodification of humanity. And all but the most hardened fanatics realize a pretty body is a better commodity than an ugly one. So if they wanted any verisimilitude at all, the sleeves of rich folks and upscale prostitutes have to look good.

Quellcrist Falconer also was a blackwashed asian. Apparently that's ok. Her real name is Nadia Makita. (and in the books she died long before Takeshi was born). Of course, sleeves are a thing so people tend to wear a lot of skins, but that was her Harlan's World sleeve, which is overwhelmingly Japanese and Slavic plus a good deal of Hapas. And also where she was born.

I actually think the actress herself was good, she just had to carry a lot of really terrible Matrix-lite expository scenes with her eco warriors that conflicted with all the themes of the rest of the show. Burdened with most of the worst scenes and worst dialogue.

Incidentally Book Quell would have hated Show Quell and I'm very sad they ruined her character.

EDIT: Come to think of it I wish Takeshi Kovacs still had psychopathic tendencies in the show but I guess that's harder to sympathize with no matter how much sense it makes with his backround.
 
Última edición:
Less focus on Geralt than the games is fine. Everything past the first two books focused a ton on Ciri anyway, and I always thought Yennefer didn't get enough screentime. But they could easily fuck it up too. We'll see. It's a dumb bit of virtue signalling regardless. Could mean nothing. Could mean everything.

In any case you guys that just want the games should just play the games. They're really good.
The best books focused almost entirely on Geralt. Once again, why are they leaning into the (much lower quality) main saga this early when they absolutely should be focusing on Geralt's misadventures? The games have tons of inaccuracies but you can see the inaccuracies in the show just from watching a damn trailer. I'm not happy about this shit as a book fan, either, Yennefer shouldn't be getting more fucking screen time than Geralt.
 
The best books focused almost entirely on Geralt.
Best books were more Geralt focused but I think a lot of that is more down to the anthology format than just Geralt's character specifically. And best book, Sword of Destiny, leaned heavily on Geralt's relationships with Yennefer and Ciri too.

Once again, why are they leaning into the (much lower quality) main saga this early when they absolutely should be focusing on Geralt's misadventures? The games have tons of inaccuracies but you can see the inaccuracies in the show just from watching a damn trailer. I'm not happy about this shit as a book fan, either, Yennefer shouldn't be getting more fucking screen time than Geralt.
I really don't think the saga is substantially lower quality, even if it's not as good as the first two books. Most of the show inaccuracies on display in the trailer are bad costume design and woke casting, which I kind of assumed would be an issue in the first place because Netflix.

Agreed though, Yennefer shouldn't have more screentime than Geralt. She should have more than she had in the later books though I think. Let's hope that's an exaggeration.

In any case right now I'd say 60% chance of shitshow, 40% chance of surprisingly really good, and nothing in between for this show. My hopes were raised since the trailer seems to indicate they're actually doing The Lesser Evil which was one of my favorite stories.
 
Last week there has been in Italy the Lucca Comics & Games fair, which has become the main convention on 'nerd' culture in Italy.
There, with the showrunner, the actresses for Yen and Ciri and Sapkowski himself, they have shown three scenes as sneak peek preview for the show. I am translating here their description done by journos attending the panel., since it seems they won't release them anywhere else. I abstain from commenting, except for: First scene, guuuuuurl Powah!

Source (Ita):

The scene opens in the courtyard of a castle, with Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill) confronting Queen Calanthe (Jodhi May), who exclaims "Kill them!" A violent struggle immediately arises between Geralt and other people in the hall: the Witcher is extremely skilled in combat.
"It has been called the law of surprise," exclaims a nobleman brandishing his sword (the law of surprise is a custom regarding the reward that a man owes to another man who saved his life), "If you kill them you will kill me too! ”and throws himself into the fray.
The queen rises from the richly laid table, grabs a sword, makes her way in the crowd and approaches Geralt, asking everyone to stop and blocking the Witcher (the two swords meet, the queen is clearly very strong). The woman looks very annoyed. The atmosphere is grim and the sets are really rich in details, at the end of the clip the showrunner explained to the public that Henry Cavill (great fan of novels and video games) insisted on performing all the stunts alone.
The sorceress Yennefer (Anya Chalotra) is sitting by the sea, as a crow whirls above her. The woman whispers to the crow: "For which one of us have you come?" At that point we see a bundle lying next to her: wrapped inside it there is the little body of a little girl. The sorceress starts talking to the newborn, talking about the life she will never live. She almost seems like she's rather talking to herself, a very bitter summary of what life holds: relatives, friends and lovers are all illusions, reality is solitude. "We women are but vessels," he says, "vessels from which men draw until they've drained everything." "You cheated," Yennefer concludes before burying the child in the sand, "You cheated and you won without even knowing it."
In the third clip we see Ciri (Freya Allan) walking alone in a frozen forest: she is very cold and looks hungry. She gets near a bush to pick berries, but someone throws a pebble at her hands to make her desist. It is a boy (Dara, played by Wilson Radjou-Pujalte) hiding behind a tree, who explains to her by gestures that those berries are poisonous.He points to a mouse that runs on the ground at some distance, and the girl replies that mouse is not the kind of food she loves to eat. Shortly after we see the two sitting in front of a small fire, with the mouse on the spit. Ciri tells Dara she's been on the run for three days: she's running away from a man who has a bird on his hat. The boy does not seem to be able to talk: he does not speak for the whole scene. Before taking a mouse bite on a spit, Ciri suggests extinguishing the fire: she doesn't want to be tracked down, even though she hasn't quite figured out where to go yet. Shortly after we see the two walking in the woods: Dara is very cold, and Ciri gives him one of her gloves. The girl sees in the distance a camp with the flag of Cintra (the kingdom of which she is a princess) and is about to head towards it but when she turns around it seems that Dara has ran away.
 
They really should recast Geralt and Yen. Just get Eva Green so the in-joke can become reality. Fat Cavill (a nickname of his. Look it up) shouldn't be Geralt. Surely there's a hot Polish dude they could have gotten?

unironically should've gone with green, even when it was a meme at that point. least you can assume she'll get naked again. cavill is fine, he's a cool dude and if he says he's a fan of the source material you can halfway believe it. also a chad and calling out #metoo shit.

fuck you netflix for not giving us extensive sex scenes every episode between those two when sex + dragons was what sold GOT in the first place. ffs just have a 10 second teaser with albino superman grinding vesper lynd intro a matress and you'll rake in cash effortlessly.

They cant afford to pay a 10-12 episode rate with Cavil as the star
But if they dont have a big star they will have 25-33% less views

meanwhile netflix paid d&d 200 million and they don't even have a concrete project yet afaik, probably just to spite disney. which is a shame, them fucking star wars bloated corpse could give us a whole trilogy of last jedis...
 
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