💼 Careercow Narcissa Wright / Cosmo Wright - Former speedrunner tumbling down

[Ashley Lynne Coulter]

He deactivated Twitter? Big oof. I take everything I said back and let's watch this slow motion trainwreck ride itself out.

He should work out more with some weights or take some walks, I feel. I wonder if where he lives has nice weather?

 

[Whetfahrt Cheesebörger]

Man this is sad. He’s gonna take these WR losses to heart and sink even deeper into his depression, if him deactivating his Twitter is any sign. I personally think basing your self-worth on video game speedruns is really stupid to begin with, so I wasn’t really excited at all for his WR... it was never gonna last.

Really hope someone in his life gives him a reality check.

If you didn't see this coming a mile away, you don't know Narco all that well. He's been trying to reclaim what he lost while not entirely understanding why he lost it in the first place. His parents don't give a shit and he completely ignores anyone who tries to speak sense into his drug-addled brain. There was never a chance of a "redemption" with Narco, just another tiny bit of hope that he pisses away like everything else in his life.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

He should work out more with some weights or take some walks, I feel. I wonder if where he lives has nice weather?

I think he lives in Wisconsin now lmao.

Even the slightest steps towards self improvement are fucking unlikely, this is why cosmo is a Lolcow and trans.

 

[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]

I hope all those people new to Cosmo who were hopeful for some sort of redemption have learned a lesson about not putting any faith in a self destructive narcissist. This was always going to happen, it's a core reason Cosmo is a lolcow: they see themselves as some sort of special, talented & amazing person but they can not handle any sort of challenge or rejection and breakdown when that glass fragile image is questioned.

 

[CIA Nigger]

I hope all those people new to Cosmo who were hopeful for some sort of redemption have learned a lesson about not putting any faith in a self destructive narcissist. This was always going to happen, it's a core reason Cosmo is a lolcow: they see themselves as some sort of special, talented & amazing person but they can not handle any sort of challenge or rejection and breakdown when that glass fragile image is questioned.

I honestly knew this from the get go. Sure people like to joke about how if Narcissa wins the Zelda world record or beats John Numbers that Cosmo will come back, but that's little more than fanfiction and a coping mechanism for the fact that an e celeb had a Spoony tier fall. Lolcows remain lolcows because they don't get better. There's a reason that "is Chris getting better" became a meme in his subforum, every time it seemed like Chris Chan was improving it would be followed by bad behavior or events brought upon by bad behavior. For example when Chris Chan made appearances at cons it seemed like he was getting better, then he got booted out of one con after a public meltdown and had the van break down on the way back from another con. Then there were the financial issues caused by going to cons with no money.

That's what makes lolcows stay lolcows. Change doesn't come overnight from winning at a video game, it comes from eliminating the bad behavior that led you to get considered one in the first place.

 

[Tanner Glass]

A lot of people are getting into the weeds on the Any% rules, but realistically it's very simple.

Can you do the trick/glitch/whatever on stock equipment with a single person? If yes, it's legal. If no, it isn't. It doesn't matter if it's hard, or rare, or whatever, but it needs to be able to be done by a person without outside help.

A modded controller, however it's modded, taking the place of an action the runner can't reasonably do (it's a sub 1% chance, you need outside tools to calibrate beforehand, you would need a third hand) seems exceptionally against the rules.

 

[byuu]

What if someone finds an ACE exploit in the main menu, when the timer isn't even started yet?
Would that be a 0:00 run?

 

[Antipathy]

What if someone finds an ACE exploit in the main menu, when the timer isn't even started yet?
Would that be a 0:00 run?

Technically no, then the timer would probably be started on the first input.

 

[LocalFireDept]

The worst blow is the dude shared info, which Cosmo wasn’t in an attempt to stave off other attempts. Now other people are gonna go at it. I wish my optimism about it was right, but this lines up more with the reality I expected. If Cosmo didn’t suspend his Twitter to go full hermit at ACE and keep trying instead of having a melty, he has zero chance of competing for this record now.

 

[Ashley Lynne Coulter]

Narcissa always cracks under the pressure, quite sad to see really.

 

[RJ MacReady]

Every time he sleeps it's just an endless loop of John Numbers laughing. He couldn't take it anymore.

 

[Antipathy]

Every time he sleeps it's just an endless loop of John Numbers laughing. He couldn't take it anymore.

Every time Cosmo closes his eyes, John Numbers is there.
In the mirror, he's there. In the reflection of the computer screen, he's still there, always laughing.

Always.

 

[Luigi]

Preparing a controller beforehand should be its own category (like NG+ is in other games), but then again they don't count using a tool (rubber band) as tool-assisted so clearly they have a different perspective about speedruns and semantics.

 

[Agent of Z.O.G.]

He's back on twitter.

 

[Ashley Lynne Coulter]

I hope this person gets some help. They need a really good shrink, right?

 

[YarrBlueballs]

I hope this person gets some help. They need a really good shrink, right?

There's no psychologist in the world that can fix that.

 

[indio solari]

I can't wait until Numbers retires from Smash just to start speedrunning OoT lmao

 

[A Detachable Penis]

1 out of 100 chances of a run working?

Theres been worse. Suck it up, buttercups.

I am honestly in two minds as to whether Cosmo cheated or that the run is so stupidly short that the neet was able to slam out 48 hours of runs.

 

[No Face]

my take on controller notches:

Spoiler: le big rant de autisme:

I don't see why modding a controller physically is a problem. The purpose of rules is to prevent unfair competition, literally anyone is able to do this "mod" so it doesn't pose any unfair advantage to those who use it. It also doesn't modify the contents of the game in any way or alter the electrical inputs from the controller.

Lets say the mod involved some kind of hacked controller that allowed you to do faster inputs or something, or a controller with turbo buttons. There is a discernible reason for why that shouldn't be allowed because it requires altering the actual hardware of the game system.

What if instead of using a notch someone was able to do it with just a sharpie'd line on the plastic? In goldeneye players use all sorts of solutions in order to put a crosshair indicator on their screen/monitor to help line up shots.

Also some players use gamecube controllers on their n64 which was ruled legal I believe. The gamecube stick has different notches than the n64 does. Of course, they aren't helpful in the same way but the point is if the physical composition of the controller matters so much then it becomes a much larger problem. Should 3rd party but otherwise normal n64 controllers be allowed? What about old or damaged n64 controllers?

Lastly, what would the difference be if it were made illegal? We would just have people doing 1000s of runs trying to get this specific angle first try, and thats assuming that the rule is even enforced and followed in the first place.

 

[Postal Dude]

I don't see why modding a controller physically is a problem. The purpose of rules is to prevent unfair competition, literally anyone is able to do this "mod" so it doesn't pose any unfair advantage to those who use it. It also doesn't modify the contents of the game in any way or alter the electrical inputs from the controller.
[/SPOILER]

I don't see why doing steroids in Olympic sports is banned, anyone can use them