Martial Arts

[Bob's Fries]

What martial arts have you practiced and for how long?

I did kendo for like 7 years and Muay Thai for 3 months.

And while we're at this, I'm showing this as well.

The honorable Grand Master Christian Weston Ricardo Chandler shall perform the Fail-Manchild Kata of the Autistic Sperg-Ryu.

[youtube]fXm63ppsC4s[/youtube]

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I'd like to try a martial art but I don't know which one. I'm thinking about Chinese martial arts because there are a lot of them locally and they charge a reasonable rate.

That's all kind of moot because I don't have a job and couldn't take classes for more than a few months and I'm very overweight. I'm sure both will change, though.

 

[Bob's Fries]

I'd like to try a martial art but I don't know which one. I'm thinking about Chinese martial arts because there are a lot of them locally and they charge a reasonable rate.

That's all kind of moot because I don't have a job and couldn't take classes for more than a few months and I'm very overweight. I'm sure both will change, though.

Which styles are we talking about here? And being overweight is no problem. To be honest, I'm a fatass. I know a kendo master who is also very overweight, but he kicks ass because he knows how to work his way with what he got.

So I know how it feels.

Edit: Just sit in a few classes to see how they teach. If all they teach are forms, don't attend it. It's not gonna be worth it if they don't even bother teaching the actual meaning behind those forms.

I believe good/decent CMA classes will have some form of conditioning and some technique training behind those forms at the very least. If they got sparring in their curriculum, you might hit a jackpot.

Edit 2: Another indicator to watch out if they're McDojo's.

Basically "Black Belt factories". Those are very apparent in a lot of other "dojo's" where they focus on just helping some suckers get black belts fast and quick without focusing on the important aspects behind the martial art.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I don't know which style, unfortunately. They just say "kung fu" without saying which style. There's a guy who teaches parkour and a Chinese martial art, and although he was specific about the style, but I don't remember which one and now I only have his contact info.

I'm about 100 lbs. overweight because of some meds I used to take, so I'm not just a little overweight. So yeah, my screen name is rather appropriate They do say they provide training for everyone no matter physical condition, so that is something that I have going for me.

 

[Bob's Fries]

I don't know which style, unfortunately. They just say "kung fu" without saying which style. There's a guy who teaches parkour and a Chinese martial art, and although he was specific about the style, but I don't remember which one and now I only have his contact info.

I'm about 100 lbs. overweight because of some meds I used to take, so I'm not just a little overweight. So yeah, my screen name is rather appropriate They do say they provide training for everyone no matter physical condition, so that is something that I have going for me.

Heh, nice. So yeah, just do a little "preview" of what's going on there and see how it goes from there.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Yeah, this one place lets you watch a class before you sign up.

I hope some other people chime in. I remember a lot of other people here take martial arts.

 

[Judge Holden]

Karate/Aikedo (the guy running it was a black belt at both) from age 6 to age 11

Wing Chun from age 11 to age 16

both were pretty legit and involved a shittone of conditioning and technique mastery and a good 5 years of work before black belt equivilant was earned

 

[spaps]

I did Karate for about a month when I was a kid (and I forgot everything I was taught), and Tae Kwon Do a year or two later (and I forgot everything I learned from that too).

 

[Bob's Fries]

I did Karate for about a month when I was a kid (and I forgot everything I was taught), and Tae Kwon Do a year or two later (and I forgot everything I learned from that too).

You poor man.

 

[Niachu]

I started training in Shaolin Kenpo when I was five. My grandma owned her own studio, actually. She deserves much more recognition than I do, lol, cause I was only able to train for three years. After two brain surgeries and being crippled by a car for nearly a year, she maintained her studio as a fifth degree blackbelt into her sixties. She finally decided to retire after the third brain surgery.

It's been awhile for me, but I still have the reflexes and the balance. I wouldn't be able to take anyone these days, though...too scared of stuff flying at my face.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Yeah, that's the one reason I wouldn't want to do martial arts. I'd be afraid of getting my butt kicked.

My dad took boxing in college. He got his butt kicked and flunked the course He went into the army as a Signal Corps officer after college, but he never left the States, let alone went into combat, so the fact his CQB skills sucked wasn't an issue.

He offered to teach my brother and me boxing when we were little, and it's too bad we didn't take him up on it.

 

[The Hunter]

Yeah, that's the one reason I wouldn't want to do martial arts. I'd be afraid of getting my butt kicked.

My dad took boxing in college. He got his butt kicked and flunked the course He went into the army as a Signal Corps officer after college, but he never left the States, let alone went into combat, so the fact his CQB skills sucked wasn't an issue.

He offered to teach my brother and me boxing when we were little, and it's too bad we didn't take him up on it.

Oh, my friend has an awful story about Capoeira (which I was interested in taking when I was 14 but couldn't due to transportation problems).

So my friend has been in Capoeira longer than I've known him. So naturally, he was ecstatic when his little cousin decided he wanted to take lessons. So one day, I see my friend walk into the school with a broken arm. I asked what happened, and he said his little cousin did it to him. Holding back my laughter, I inquired as to how that could possibly happen. It turns out if someone is inexperienced and messes up in the slightest, he's not the one that gets hurt. You are. And that's just what happened. He preformed a move incorrectly and broke the hell out of my friend's arm. Although when not being used to break arms and kill people, Capoeira is a good way to stay in shape. It's mostly dancing anyways.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Yeah, from what I understand, usually they make you do a lot of drills and exercises before they let you spar. Having inexperienced people spar would be pretty dangerous, and lulzy seeing two people flail at each other.

In boxing, for example, you do a lot of bag work before they let you spar with someone. I imagine they make you hit pads and stuff in other martial arts as well.

 

[The Hunter]

Yeah, from what I understand, usually they make you do a lot of drills and exercises before they let you spar. Having inexperienced people spar would be pretty dangerous, and lulzy seeing two people flail at each other.

In boxing, for example, you do a lot of bag work before they let you spar with someone. I imagine they make you hit pads and stuff in other martial arts as well.

Again, Capoeira is mostly dancing, so most of the drills are just twerking outta control stretching and moving around defensively.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Capoeira is from Brazil, right?

I don't know if that's the martial art that was so dangerous that it got banned so they disguised it as a dance. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

 

[Hyperion]

Capoeira is from Brazil, right?

I don't know if that's the martial art that was so dangerous that it got banned so they disguised it as a dance. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

Native Americans did the same thing with "dances".

 

[The Hunter]

Capoeira is from Brazil, right?

I don't know if that's the martial art that was so dangerous that it got banned so they disguised it as a dance. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

Mmhmm. That's the one. It's a war dance developed by African slaves in Brazil, and was banned when criminals would use capoeiristas as henchmen bodyguards with intent to kill those who opposed them. So it wasn't disguised as a dance, but it was banned at some point for being too dangerous.

Capoeira is from Brazil, right?

I don't know if that's the martial art that was so dangerous that it got banned so they disguised it as a dance. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

Native Americans did the same thing with "dances".

Ah, the Ghost Dance. A dance that was supposedly supposed to be a sign of peace and acceptance that was mistaken as a war dance by white men. And by mistaken, I mean they just came up with the first reason to shoot the fuck out of them. Most dances in Native American culture, from what I understand, are supposed to be celebratory, whereas Capoeira is actual combat.

 

[Hyperion]

I heard you folks were up to some dang dirty sorcery!

No seriously a preacher heard about the "ghost dance" and way way way overreacted.

 

[Bob's Fries]

He preformed a move incorrectly and broke the hell out of my friend's arm

Yeah, from what I understand, usually they make you do a lot of drills and exercises before they let you spar. Having inexperienced people spar would be pretty dangerous, and lulzy seeing two people flail at each other.

Pretty much. It's the same for every martial art. The noob is always the scariest. I always hate it when I have to teach newbies in kendo. Because they hit the wrong spots and hurts like a bitch. I sometimes get bruises. Maybe.

But besides that, their very awkwardness in sparring makes it a bit difficult to fight against. So their "rhythm" can be very off and make things difficult for both experienced and inexperienced martial artists.

I heard you folks were up to some dang dirty sorcery!

No seriously a preacher heard about the "ghost dance" and way way way overreacted.

True fucking story.

 

[Smokedaddy]

I studied a style that was the master's own invention, something he described as "a little karate, a little judo, and a lot of dirty shit." He was a CPO in the Navy, one of those little wiry guys who are fast and strong as all hell. The entire focus was not to do anything formal, but to hurt your opponent as badly and as fast as you can. You had to take the class two years before you got to spar.

One of the girls in the class was notorious for her mamallian protruberances, and one night some drunk dude thought it would be fun to feel them. She hit him in the head with a water pitcher, kicked him in the teeth while he was going down, then threw him out the window.

One morning we were doing warm-up calisthenics. He said "do V-ups" (situps where you lift your legs and touch your toes) so we did -- for a long time -- until somebody noticed he was lying on his side, kind of gurgling. Dude had had a stroke, and died a few days later. It was weird.