Martial arts lolcows

[Stress Sigh]

(reads thread)

Wow, really? A lot more nutjobs in the martial arts than I thought. It's kinda sad.

It kind of makes sense if you think about it a lot of lolcows want some kind of tangible respect and recognition and martial arts nowadays are a easy and reliable to get some respect from just showing up for a couple of months. Plus things like Wuxia and other tall tales common in martial arts also helps to attracts them.

 

[Some JERK]

George Dillman humiliated on national TV:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_Z0_n7tGnK0
(Fast forward to 3:59 if you want, although the setup makes it better).

Faith hurting? That's a new one on me.

 

[broilerrx]

 

[StupidSexyFlanders]

I'm surprised this thread has gone on 3 pages with no mention the infamous Youtube MA lolcow: MOUNTAINOUS

https://www.youtube.com/user/MOUNTAINOUS/featured

- Total Japanophile/Samurai/Ninja nutjob
- Became a tacticool suvivalist nutjob
- When he hit 40 he had a massive midlife crisis and became obsessed with snowboarding and BMX, like everything else he's terrible at them. But will ban you if you say anything remotely negative
- Now a crazy KISS obsessed nutjob trying to become a rockstar
- Conspiracy theorist and believes his detractors are from the NWO because he "exposed" them
- Loses his shit at even the slightest bit of criticism, usually with a huge angry textwall and a block
- He once challenged Bullshido to a "death duel" katana fight because they made a thread about him, but then threatened to call the cops when someone there actually agreed to do it

Early crazy MA vid example:

He'd also make alot of "cinematic" vids like this claiming it made them more authentic.

Note: His only legitimate grading was something like a 6th Kyu (green belt) in Bujinkan that he achieved when he was a kid. Other than that, every black belt he claims to have (which is about 5) he was "awarded" by other MA lolcows via youtube vids or he simply GRADED HIMSELF

 

[nad7155]

but one of those matches was two grown adults fighting in a public parking lot, which makes both of the fighters lolcows.

The young guy who beat his ass was just defending himself from a pathetic "tough guy" loser who confronted him at his place of work.

Here is the second real fight.

After he lost, he gave a Slaton Sister sized bunch of excuses.

 

[Holdek]

The young guy who beat his ass was just defending himself from a pathetic "tough guy" loser who confronted him at his place of work.

Okay, but then that's called assault and battery and you call the cops. It's not a school-yard fight.

That's the problem with a lot of these martial arts lolcows. They watch movies and UFC and play vidya and they don't understand that in real life people can get killed just by hitting their head too hard on the pavement.

 

[Stress Sigh]

I think different martial arts attract different spergs like most eastern arts spergs are either because vidya or anime while most mma spergs a wimpy wannabe tough guys. Any other trends anyone notices other than anyone you hear over the age of 11 claiming to be a ninja is an exceptional individual?

Also McDojo gun defense

 

[StallChaser]

Charlie Zelenoff

He's a troll/delusional guy who thinks he's the best fighter in the world. He then gets his ass kicked and blames it on the other guy getting a lucky shot or something. I remember seeing some other "fight" he was in where he just punched some dude completely out of the blue (which fortunately didn't seriously injure him, which is a very real possibility when someone is totally unprepared for a punch, even if they're a professional fighter) and claim that was a legit fight that he won.

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

That's the problem with a lot of these martial arts lolcows. They watch movies and UFC and play vidya and they don't understand that in real life people can get killed just by hitting their head too hard on the pavement.

Very true. That happened last winter in my town; some lady slipped on the ice and fell on her head. Game over.

Jui Jitsu lolcows/muscleheads must be especially dangerous considering you can easily end or alter someone's life with a variety of choke holds and submission moves.

 

[Stress Sigh]

Very true. That happened last winter in my town; some lady slipped on the ice and fell on her head. Game over.

Jui Jitsu lolcows/muscleheads must be especially dangerous considering you can easily end or alter someone's life with a variety of choke holds and submission moves.

That's whats scary about lolcows learning actual stuff instead of bullshit imagine if Chris was more in shape an knew some kind of usable martial art would he beat up Snyder or would he do more than pepper spray someone because of blarms?

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

That's whats scary about lolcows learning actual stuff instead of bullshit imagine if Chris was more in shape an knew some kind of usable martial art would he beat up Snyder or would he do more than pepper spray someone because of blarms?

Yeah if Chris knew a serious martial art and his real life fearlessness matched his on paper fearlessness he'd be a dangerous person. Or extremely funny, I can't decide.

 

[Holdek]

Very true. That happened last winter in my town; some lady slipped on the ice and fell on her head. Game over.

A couple of years ago in the bar/club/music district of the city I used to live in someone got punched, probably knocked out or at least dazed, head hit the concrete and he died. So police put out a warrant for murder.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Very true. That happened last winter in my town; some lady slipped on the ice and fell on her head. Game over.

Jui Jitsu lolcows/muscleheads must be especially dangerous considering you can easily end or alter someone's life with a variety of choke holds and submission moves.

This.

And this isn't even bringing melee weapons into the equation. I used to do Kendo and heavy armor melee fighting in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms). Even with proper armor- proper training & knowledgeable participants, trainers & referees- it's a dangerous pastime.

The idea of a fully-trained Lolcow chimping out with a bokken, a SCA rattan sword- or god forbid- a live steel blade is terrifying.

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

A couple of years ago in the bar/club/music district of the city I used to live in someone got punched, probably knocked out or at least dazed, head hit the concrete and he died. So police put out a warrant for murder.

Spoiler: O/T but interesting

Same exact thing happened to Babe Ruth's dad. Crazy shit.

 

[AnOminous]

The idea of a fully-trained Lolcow chimping out with a bokken, a SCA rattan sword- or god forbid- a live steel blade is terrifying.

True. The funny part is most of the video of these guys is them attacking someone who vastly outclasses them and basically getting punked. They could be dangerous even to those guys just by getting lucky and sucker punching them, but even a pretty untalented martial artist without any weapon at all would probably be dangerous to someone completely unprepared with no training at all.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

True. The funny part is most of the video of these guys is them attacking someone who vastly outclasses them and basically getting punked. They could be dangerous even to those guys just by getting lucky and sucker punching them, but even a pretty untalented martial artist without any weapon at all would probably be dangerous to someone completely unprepared with no training at all.

This is why my favorite school of self-defense is Mossberg. Never give a fucker an even break.

 

[AnOminous]

This is why my favorite school of self-defense is Mossberg. Never give a fucker an even break.

It would also be pretty legally defensible in most places if a "martial artist" of any sort were closing distance to grapple or anything else.

 

[Holdek]

That's whats scary about lolcows learning actual stuff instead of bullshit imagine if Chris was more in shape an knew some kind of usable martial art would he beat up Snyder or would he do more than pepper spray someone because of blarms?

I think the more lolcowish someone is, the less likely they are to legitimately train in a martial art because it takes discipline, an ability to learn, self control, physical exertion, concentration, a serious mindset, etc...

or god forbid- a live steel blade is terrifying.

...but even if you give a tard with no training a real, sharp sword, he can be dangerous if he's flailing around with it aggressively.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

I think the more lolcowish someone is, the less likely they are to legitimately train in a martial art because it takes discipline, an ability to learn, self control, physical exertion, concentration, a serious mindset, etc...

...but even if you give a tard with no training a real, sharp sword, he can be dangerous if he's flailing around with it aggressively.

Keep in mind the Lolcow obsession factor. If one of the 'cows got as obsessed with live-steel sparring as much as Chris is with Sonic, the end-game results would be disastrous.

 

[Stress Sigh]

I think the more lolcowish someone is, the less likely they are to legitimately train in a martial art because it takes discipline, an ability to learn, self control, physical exertion, concentration, a serious mindset, etc...

But what about Jace he does Parkour