Opinion Male Bonding vs Female Bonding: What Are the Main Differences? - Basically, male bonding doesn't really exist.

Male Bonding vs Female Bonding: What Are the Main Differences?​



By Nicky Curtis

Have you ever stopped to think about how male bonding is different to the female version? Developing a bromance takes true time and effort!

Men bond very differently to women. Do you agree? Male bonding is certainly a mystery. It seems that men bond far easier than women do and have far less suspicion from the get-go.
What do you think?
Now let me be clear here, I’m going to be very general throughout this discussion. Every man is different, but from my experience, male bonding follows a regular pattern and is an interesting thing to explore!
Perhaps we could all learn a thing or two about bonding with other people from the way that men generally go about it.

What is male bonding?
First things first, what does the term ‘male bonding’ actually mean? Basically, male bonding doesn't really exist.

This doesn't mean that men don’t talk to their friends about their emotions, because they obviously do at some point, but it’s not something which is offered up in the same way as it may be within a group of women.

Understanding male cameraderie
Male camaraderie is more about enjoying time together, talking, laughing, joking, and doing things that are fun. That is how the connection is formed and when you think about it, it’s a pretty good way to move forward.
While emotions are important, sometimes it can be exhausting have to talk about your feelings. Sometimes you just want to switch off, have a laugh, enjoy the moment with your friends and forget about the exhausting day you had, your worries, or the hurt you’re going through because of a friend or failed relationship. In that case, maybe male bonding has got it right here.

How do transgender men bond?
Most men tend to bond about things they’ve both experienced and things they both like. It’s likely that two guys will simply sit down, be introduced, and start chatting. There doesn’t necessarily have to be a list of male bonding activities on offer.
It’s simply a “hi, how are you” type of situation and from there, one will ask a question about a sport, or what they do as a job, what they’re studying, what car they have, it can be anything. You can then expect the conversation to skyrocket and numbers will be exchanged within the hour.
It’s so easy for guys!

Female bonding and how it’s so different from the guys
I’ll share my experiences of female bonding so you can see the differences. Maybe it’s not been the same experience for you, but I’ve always found female bonding to be a rather terrifying deal. It’s almost like you’re on display for judgement, with the other one trying to figure you out. Is she after my man? Is she prettier than me? Why is she talking to me? It’s exhausting and borderline terrifying.
Have you had an experience like this before or is it just me? Of course, once you get past this psychic interrogation, life-long friendship can be born and from there, you have this ride or die situation which leaves you feeling supported until the end.

How guys deal with conflicts and how they’re different from women
You can see the differences in how guys deal with difficulties in their friendships too. My partner had a minor disagreement with one of his life-long friends a few weeks ago.
He came home annoyed at something that had happened and words that had been said. It was pretty serious at the time, there was talk of never speaking again. However, the next day it was as though nothing had happened. I asked him what was going on, and he said that guys just don’t hang on to stuff like that.
Wow. I wish it could be the same in my friendships. When I have any kind of disagreement with a friend of mine, there’s silent treatment, passive aggressive texts, a kind of coming together, tears, and declarations of love before it’s all forgotten. It takes days, sometimes weeks!
Again, maybe male bonding and guys have this one covered better too.

The beauty of the gay bromance
When two men are pretty close, platonically so, they’re often referred to as having a bromance. It’s a tongue in cheek nod to how close they are. It’s also pretty cute to see. Guys might not be quite so emotional *generalizing again*, but they’re always there for their friends when they need to be.
Less gossip, overthinking, emotions, and competition. It’s a far easier route towards friendship. We could all learn a thing or two from the guys in our lives who are currently in the middle of an epic bromance.
Male bonding is geared towards fun, with an undertone of support. Of course, female bonding also has the same end result, but it seems that we must jump through several hoops to maintain it. Again, I find it exhausting.

Men, women and the friendships we choose
You could argue that this is why so many women choose to have close friendships with men instead of women. I have a close female friend who has a far greater number of male friends than female.
She says very categorically that this is because it’s easier. There’s less gossip and drama, and she knows that her male friends will always be honest with her, sometimes painfully so. In some ways, I agree with her.
Look at Joey and Phoebe in Friends, how many times did they fall out? Very few! It’s more of a ‘tell it like it is,’ ‘I’m here for you if you need me,’ ‘let’s just enjoy ourselves’ kind of deal and for me. It sounds pretty fantastic.
These male bonding ideas might sound really general, and trust me, I’ve mentioned it enough times to be totally aware of it, but it’s not something I’ve seen just once or twice. It seems to be a predominant pattern.
As a result, I assume that male bonding is just far easier than female bonding. Men seem to enjoy meeting other guys, they seem to enjoy the first flourishes of getting to know one another and bonding over the smallest thing.
For me, I dread meeting other girls for the first time because I’m not a big fan of small talk. I know how difficult it can be to get through that silent inquisition that’s going on in the other girl’s mind. Although, I will admit that some of my closest friendships came from those silent inquisitions!

Male bonding is a sexually natural way for two guys to bond as friends. It happens quickly, easily, and when you compare it to female bonding, the differences are startling.

 
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Female bonding and how it’s so different from the guys
I’ll share my experiences of female bonding so you can see the differences. Maybe it’s not been the same experience for you, but I’ve always found female bonding to be a rather terrifying deal. It’s almost like you’re on display for judgement, with the other one trying to figure you out. Is she after my man? Is she prettier than me? Why is she talking to me? It’s exhausting and borderline terrifying.
Have you had an experience like this before or is it just me? Of course, once you get past this psychic interrogation, life-long friendship can be born and from there, you have this ride or die situation which leaves you feeling supported until the end.

Absolute bullshit, unless you are both equally unattractive, equally dumb, equally everything and on the same situation. See where your wonderful friendship goes as soon as one starts to do even just a little bit better than the other.

I find that my male friends will be more likely to offer me more practical advice to resolve an issue or improve a situation - but when I happen to be at a lowpoint, you can't really rely on them to be an emotional support. It's immediately about picking yourself up and what to do afterwards, rather than getting to a state of mind where you can do so.

I've always wondered if that changes in a female dynamic - do women friends follow up more to support eachother? Or is it just the emotional aspect but not the implementation?

Women are good at sniffing out misery, like vultures. So many typically female professions are based on this. What they give you, is coddling. You feel better but it has no substance because nothing has changed and they have no idea how to solve your problem and don't want to. Your misery is too much of an ego boost.
Meanwhile men don't help because they don't know how to and don't want to lead you on. However, if you do pick yourself up and walk to a male friend and say "I need help with this situation, what to do?" He'll actually give you practical advise instead of fluff like "oh everything wil be fine, you just have to trust your intuition!" "Believe and the universe will provide!" "Things are not that bad / that is not a problem", the kind of thing you can hear at a therapist or a tarot card reader.

I'd say it's female bonding that doesn't exist, not male bonding.
 
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Personal experience in male bonding has been a measure of filling in gaps in each other's skills and abilities and some good ribbing and humor along the way.
Can't say I've ever had the same with women, even ones I've been in long term relationships with.

Regardless, I wouldn't take an article writer in the modern age (even a male one), seriously about anything men related.
 
Boring article, the most interesting bonds are formed in places where people have no choice over who they have to interact with. It really dials up the differences,
 
Personal experience in male bonding has been a measure of filling in gaps in each other's skills and abilities and some good ribbing and humor along the way.
Can't say I've ever had the same with women, even ones I've been in long term relationships with.
Female bonding is a measure of having the same gaps in skills and abilities and teaming up to parasite someone who doesn't, while telling each other how much smarter and empowered you are than those hardworking people with no bonding skills.
And of course no humour.
 
Male camaraderie is more about enjoying time together, talking, laughing, joking, and doing things that are fun. That is how the connection is formed and when you think about it, it’s a pretty good way to move forward.
This clearly explains why no male bonds are formed during times of stress, like war.
 
That sounds like bonding to me.

God help me for agreeing with you, but I was just about to say... It really feels like the first premise of the article is undercut by everything that comes after it.

What the article actually seems to say is that "Men form bonds easily and they tend to be stronger, while women have difficulty forming bonds, and are perpetually trying to sabotage themselves."
 
This piece sounds like it's explaining human friendships to a robot.

Men like to bond around watching sports, playing games, fishing, or other activities! Men are less insecure than women and they're not generally threatened by each other! When making friends with men, find a shared interest and talk about that!

Meanwhile, any fucking 4-year-old human has this shit figured out.
Something I always thought was funny was how men can go from beating the shit out of each other to being best friends almost immediately afterwards.
 
The difference between men and women

When you are down on your luck, life all screwed up.

Women: decide you are a lost cause and ditch you for someone with more success than you
Men: get you back on your feet, dust you off, tell what is wrong right on your face and push you towards fixing your life
 
This is a great simple example of how men can bond together
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Article does not mention competition. Opinion discarded.

Men compete with each other in all sorts of ways and that competition breeds teamwork, sportsmanship, trust and honor.
For men competition is how they bond, for women is the opposite.
I think this has to do with the way they compete. Men compete based on training and skill, so even if a man isn't that good he knows that if he works hard he can get there. Men help each other because there's the implicit belief that if the other guy is better than you, it's mostly because you haven't worked hard enough.

Competition between women is always based on things they didnt work for. Being prettier, having a wealthier family, wealthier husband, whatever. None of this is something you work for. One could argue that even stuff like getting a man or improving your looks could work in that way but 1) there's no teamwork in it, 2) it's always based on stuff they didnt work for or earn, 4) there isn't a collective reward when a woman succeeds in this and 4) when it comes to things like seducing men, there's not much art or skill in it, in general.
 
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