Making "healthy" versions of fast food.

[Beautiful Border]

So I've been wanting to carry out an experiment. Basically, I want to figure out how to make "healthy" versions of fast food. Make it as healthy as possible while (hopefully) still being recognizable as what it's supposed to be. A few examples:

1. Fish and chips - replace the battered cod with a grilled fillet of salmon. The chips are replaced with sticks of roasted parsnip and zucchini, the salt and vinegar replaced with herbs like parsley, lemon zest, and smoked paprika.

2. McDonald's - replace the sesame seed bun with a whole-grain thin sandwich roll. The beef patties are replaced with grilled turkey, the special sauce with a tangy avocado-yogurt spread with lemon zest. Lettuce, onions, and pickles remain, but the cheese is swapped for a thin slice of sharp, aged cheddar. Replace the fries with sweet potato chips. Maybe to be extra pretentious, I'll replace the coke with sparkling kombucha infused with hibiscus and ginger.

3. KFC - The crispy, battered fried chicken would become skinless grilled chicken breasts or thighs. Chicken tenders would be replaced with grilled strips of chicken breast marinated in lemon and garlic. Not sure what I'll do for the fries but maybe roasted carrots, parsnips, and zucchini sticks. If I can be bothered maybe I'll add a side of homemade avocado-lime dip.

4. Can't figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with a Full English Breakfast

Why? Because I think the idea is funny. Also might be interesting to see how much you have to change fast food to be "good" food, and also see how much doing so would cost. Anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Cougar Pump]

I reject your premise. There are some fast food components that are unhealthy such as seed oils, deep frying, and excessive salt. But the vast majority are absolutely fine as components in a balanced diet and even the 'unhealthy' elements are OK if kept to a sensible level.
I have a weird obsession with replicating fast food at home, and I've got pretty good at it over a decade or so of regular practice. There are some things to be avoided - McD fries are easily replicated by par-boiling in vinegar water then freezing before the final fry, but they are the heaviest part of the meal by far. The Big Mac, by comparison you could live on that fucking thing for a lifetime and be absolutely fine, it's surprisingly close to a well-balanced meal.
The full english breakfast is actually fine if you follow traditional english recipes - Middle bacon not streaky, tomatos and mushrooms not hash browns. Poach the eggs and skip the fried bread if you really want to be good. Absolutely use butter and not margarine. The real kicker is that once you finish your fat ass has to get out in the field and till for 14 hours, since that's what it's really designed to facilitate. If you're pulling some samuel peyps basement dwelling novel writing low-calorie hobbit shit, enjoy your smoothie.

 

[CallmeCicada]

It really depends what you constitue as healthy, are you looking to reduce calories generally or just carbs similar to keto or are you trying to reduce animal fats.

A lot of the changes you suggested don't make sense like swapping cod for salmon, potatoes for sweet potato/parsnip etc.

It would be better if you have an idea/laid out what you don't want to make things clear in how you would prepare the food.

 

[dick brain]

The beef patties are replaced with grilled turkey,

Stopped reading here. Enjoy your momscience wifeslop.

Only tangentially related but I'll probably never have another reason to post it:
Buffalo Wild Wings fries their traditional wings in beef tallow and most of the dry rubs have no sugar.
You can get the hallmark gymcel chicken-rice-broccoli meal at Panda Express if you order the teriyaki chicken no sauce + white rice + super greens, there's still a glaze but it's real grilled chicken breast, not reconstituted bullshit, and the rice is steamed.
Chipotle is expensive but the macros are goated because rice + beans together are a complete protein.
These are my gymcel fast food picks you're welcome goodbye.

 

[Beautiful Border]

I reject your premise. There are some fast food components that are unhealthy such as seed oils, deep frying, and excessive salt. But the vast majority are absolutely fine as components in a balanced diet and even the 'unhealthy' elements are OK if kept to a sensible level.
I have a weird obsession with replicating fast food at home, and I've got pretty good at it over a decade or so of regular practice. There are some things to be avoided - McD fries are easily replicated by par-boiling in vinegar water then freezing before the final fry, but they are the heaviest part of the meal by far. The Big Mac, by comparison you could live on that fucking thing for a lifetime and be absolutely fine, it's surprisingly close to a well-balanced meal.
The full english breakfast is actually fine if you follow traditional english recipes - Middle bacon not streaky, tomatos and mushrooms not hash browns. Poach the eggs and skip the fried bread if you really want to be good. Absolutely use butter and not margarine.

Oh, I'm not disagreeing, and I put "healthy" in quotes for a reason. It's meant to be tongue-in-cheek. If I have to define the parameters of what I'm looking for, I'm looking for things like natural and minimally-processed alternatives to typical ingredients while still keeping the "intent" of the food as much as possible. White bread replaced with whole-grain, refined sugars replaced with natural sweeteners like honey and maple syrup, and so on.

Maybe I'm just shit at explaining it, or maybe the idea of things like replacing Gatorade with cold-pressed beetroot juice just isn't funny as I thought lol. The point is to be deliberately over-the-top.

 

[Cougar Pump]

You prolly just go a shade beyond what I would in terms of modifying the classics vs maintaining accuracy. Also I have a weird trigger about 'healthy', every time I hear it, in my mind it's some death-fat idiot choking the word out while spunking down a salad, having entirely failed to grasp the distinction between low-calorie and nutrionally balanced foodstuffs, and dying from the difference. Part of the problem of irony is it reads as sincerity online, especially to autists like me that take their homemade shitty McMuffins VERY SERIOUSLY

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

sounds kinda nice but a bit too zesty and lemony, a guy wouldnt dare eat this

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

1. Fish and chips - replace the battered cod with a grilled fillet of salmon. The chips are replaced with sticks of roasted parsnip and zucchini, the salt and vinegar replaced with herbs like parsley, lemon zest, and smoked paprika.

So you are replacing a dry fish in a batter with a fatty fish without batter. I don't see why it would be any healthier just seems more limp wristed. And why would you replace salt and vinegar. You're not really making a fish and chips analogue you are just making a bad vegetable medley with salmon. Why not just roast potatoes instead of frying them and maybe bake cod or some other dryer fish in salt.

4. Can't figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with a Full English Breakfast

Going by your track record you'd replace the black pudding with chickpea patties, the beans with cubed artichoke in a soup base that a tomato was once present in, the sausage with ground turkey with pork seasoning and the toast with rye crispbread.

 

[Beautiful Border]

So I asked ChatGPT to see what its "healthy alternatives" to various junk foods would be, in keeping with this little project I'm wanting to do. Here are some of its suggestions:

Red Bull: "A glass of sparkling green tea, lightly sweetened with honey and infused with a splash of fresh-squeezed lemon juice".
Monster: "A bold and refreshing matcha latte made with almond or oat milk, sweetened with a touch of maple syrup".
Beer: "A golden turmeric latte made with freshly pressed almond milk, turmeric, ginger, black pepper, and a sprinkle of cinnamon for anti-inflammatory and antioxidant benefits".

Seriously, why is this so fucking funny to me? I've been pissing myself laughing for five minutes straight lol.
"Hi, can I order a Monster?"
"Hmm, we're out of stock. Will a matcha latte with almond milk be okay instead?"
"What?"

 

[invisibult plus+]

Seriously, why is this so fucking funny to me? I've been pissing myself laughing for five minutes straight lol.
"Hi, can I order a Monster?"
"Hmm, we're out of stock. Will a matcha latte with almond milk be okay instead?"
"What?"

Because those drinks are nowhere near the same.
“Hi, can I get a McDouble?”
“We’re out of that, would you like cuttlefish sashimi with a side of uni, ginger and wasabi?”
“I thought this was a McDonald’s.”
“Not anymore, this is McPlastics’.”

 

[Fire Flight]

Alot of fast food isn't unhealthy. Its soda that's unhealthy.

 

[dick brain]

Alot of fast food isn't unhealthy. Its soda that's unhealthy.

Buddy most fast food is literally poison.

 

[Shart Attack]

Maybe the supposed over-the-top angle of the OP is lost on me because it reads like every comment I've ever read on an online recipe.

"Lovely chocolate chip cookie recipe! I substituted the all-purpose flour with a 50-50 mix of gluten-free cassava and rye flour, added half a cup of gluten-free activated gluten, substituted the brown sugar with stevia and rum, substituted half the butter with coconut water and the other half with beef tallow, and I replaced the salt with oak tree sawdust (all natural!). And of course we switched out the chocolate chips for cacao nibs. I cooked them for half the suggested time at 6,000 degrees in a vacuum induction melter. Cookies came out a little dry but were fine when we topped them with avocado. Not sure you did the volume-to-weight conversions correctly. Next time I might add half a gallon of bone broth. Will make again!"

The OP comes off as sensible and restrained compared to some of the "healthy" recipe revisions I've seen online.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Use the same ingredients but air fry instead of deep fry.

George foreman your burgers and drain the fat out them. Or use a really lean ground beef.

Fruit juice instead of fizzy soda.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Pretty much everything you make at home will be instantly healthier just because you wouldn't have access to specific chemicals for cheapening costs or you'd think you are insane for adding the amount of salt and sugar that those places actually put in. Also frying isn't as bad as long as you don't do it constantly and use a paper towel to remove the excess oil.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

George foreman your burgers and drain the fat out them.

They'll come super-dry.

This is why McDonald's burgers don't taste very good and have a reputation for not growing mold easily.

 

[Snusmumriken]

Fast food isn’t just about the food though. It’s about the gratification of doing something “bad,” the signage/colors/wrappers that trigger your nostalgia for the “good times,” and the ease of pulling through the drive thru and winding up with a meal that’s either going to satisfy you or make you so ill you won’t want to eat anymore anyways, all in the span of five minutes (unless it’s Steak ‘n Shake, in which case you could graduate culinary school, open your own restaurant, fall into bankruptcy after a bout of depression and alcoholism, star on Kitchen Nightmares, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get both your life and your restaurant back on track by the time they get your order to you.)

And there is no saving the English breakfast. Like our founding fathers establishing the United States of America, the only way to save an English breakfast is to remove the English from it.

 

[Norstein Bekkler]

Fruit juice instead of fizzy soda.

Juices are going to have just as much, if not more, sugar/calories than soda.

OP, if you have a nutritional goal rather than just a thought experiment, I'd recommend looking into nutritionally dense/calorie conscious 'comfort' foods, rather than trying to imitate fast food with poor alternatives. When I was cutting weight, my go-to was mock-Chipotle unwrapped burrito bowls. Pound some chicken breast about a 1/4 inch thick, season/marinate it however you like, and slap it on the grill (or pan/oven/air fryer), cube it up and toss it on a bed of shredded lettuce or (light) rice, and top it with any veggies/salsas you like. Use cheese, corn, beans, etc. sparingly. Avoid fatty, calorie dense dressings like ranch.

Sour cream, even full fat (not reduced), is still relatively low calorie (60 cal/2 tbsp IIRC), and is a great vehicle for other flavors. I liked to mince chipotle peppers and mix them in the sour cream with cilantro and a bit of lime juice. There are off the shelf dressings that are extremely low cal and taste great too (for real, the 'spicy'/baja/whatever ranches, etc. from like Old El Paso/Ortega are like 15 cal/tbsp and are good). Chipotle Tabasco and Cholula add a lot of flavor too without adding a lot of heat.

 

[Otterly]

Can't figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with a Full English Breakfast

You leave it exactly as the Good Lord intended.
And then you go climb a mountain to burn it off.

 

[Spiny Rumples]

Instead of a milkshake, try this healthy recipe:
1 can of mandarin oranges (health boost: drain it first).
Cottage cheese for thickness.
Yogurt for probiotics.
Blend (health boost: gently fold instead to make them whole foods).

Serve chilled.