The Book of Lucas, a forgotten testament. (tbc)
1:1 A man named Lucas was sent forth by Bernie.
1:2 He was sent forth not as the telemorase, but to give us the testimony of the telemorase.
1:3 The true telomeres that removes all human suffering. The telemorase of a gen x homeless, mrsa infected, altruist of clinkerdagger.
1:4 He came to what was his own, but the gen z people did not accept him.
1:5 But to those who did accept him, he gave to them the power to become children of Bernie.
1:6 The telomere attrited were not welcomed unto lucas; unless they yeeted him 10% tithes of the gen z baes. The agephobes were not welcomed unto lucas, and were unable to pass through the gates of Red Robin. Nay, agephobes must repent before having access to the holy ebt card. Baes are to be yeeted before ye can be seated... In Red Robin.
1:7 And his Instagram words became flesh, as soon as gen z baes are rained down upon him. Telomeres to be passed to perfect children, free of cancer, greed, and unhappiness. Yay, these children are the example ; exposing democrats in name only as the false prophets they are.
1:8 Lucas bestowed upon his followers the truth, as evidenced by the mouse study of 2012. The wonders of silver back gorillas and the fibonacci sequence secrets revealed of Lucas' perfect love for the people who are nice to him; and by nice he means yeetimg him a gen z ovulater. This is the penance of the gen z male.
1:9 From his telomeres gen z received clarity, charity, and abstinence until age 35 for males.
1:10 Baes are grateful for the many cheeses bestowed upon Lucas. His holy sharts fill the air; announcing to flatbills their sin. With heavy, repentant hearts, they parabola bend the bills, yeet baes, and stop driving cars.
