💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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mothman96 dijo:
Is he trying to be "sexy" with the way he's talking in that first message?
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That tone has gotta be one of the creepiest things I've ever heard in my life. He sounds like Mr. Mackey from South Park but trying to sound sexy, and I swear at one point it even sounded like he said "M'kay"

Edit:
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Bruh you were literally just calling people faggots yesterday.
 
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Omg Lucas... eating vegetables on occasion doesn’t mean you’re “exploring veganism”. Every human being should be eating SOME “vegan foods” (ie fruits and vegetables).

moseph.jartelli dijo:
What is this new starbucks retcon that she was 23 not 16?
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Maybe she’s 23 NOW if she was 16 then? But that still wouldn’t make sense since it was only like 3 years ago not 6 😂 #LucasLogic
 
moseph.jartelli dijo:
What is this new starbucks retcon that she was 23 not 16?
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IceQueen dijo:
Maybe she’s 23 NOW if she was 16 then? But that still wouldn’t make sense since it was only like 3 years ago not 6 😂 #LucasLogic
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The Starbucks girl was around 21 at the time of the incident. Lucas thought she was 16.

ETA:
What is he saying, a girl is soon to feel his nuts?

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Two things: I love that "fecund" is now the kiwifarms Wern thread slang for stinky. Damn ya boi's wicked fecund, Baby Z. Fecund like an armpit feta cheese Indian food diaper vomit sweatsock. Hells yeah.

And second, in Lucas stupid video where he's stuffing his face with overpriced, probably unhealthy vegan snacks, he talks about apples, he says not pie apples, not the sort that you would find in a pie or a "torte". I think you mean "tart" you potato headed faget.

A torte is much more like a cake, assuming you didn't mean the legal definition of tort.

Essentially? Stop trying to sound smart, and use words you don't understand. I don't know if it will ever get through your head, but all the left supramarginal gyrus of the brain, all of the superluminal Einsteinium, all of the telomeres, and fecundity, will never stop you from being a homeless pedophile, who pisses his pants, and scares away young girls, girls his own age, and older women.

Long live King Lucas the Fecund, ruler of the Democratic Republic of Telomeria!

Edit: in regards to the age of the Starbucks girl, how did Lucas find out her current age? Because the last I heard, he was simply guessing at her being 16 based on the fact that she had a job, is someone suggesting that Lucas stalked her, and found her Facebook or Instagram?
 
Wow, Lucas really sounds like a call from to catch a predator when he tries to talk sexy. He is very similar to Lorne Armstrong. But he doesn't even change what he's talking about. He just keeps rambling about telomeres and age gap love and flat bill hats.
 
Lucas needs to grow some balls and talk to random women on the street like he did in the 1st call. Surely, Lucas will succeed and not be arrested.
 
WonderWino dijo:
Jesus fucking christ. He literally states that in the game you harvest women like they're a resource in a civ game. Even by creepy male feminist standards thats fucked up

He also feels guilty for not including his cousin as a potential women to harvest and fuck. That game is oozing with creepy freudian slips
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Sid Meier's Simcest
 
IceQueen dijo:
Weekly Wern 3 is out. It includes voice messages he sent to a Spokane girl when he got out of the crazy hospital. It's horrifying.

After listening to that, the girl’s name was Tiffany right? I think he’s saying “Tiffy bae” not “queefy bae”
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Whether or not he intended to say "Tiffy bae," or even actually said "Tiffy bae," matters little because he said something that sounded an awful lot like "queefy bae."

Queefy bae. Might as well have said it.

If he hadn't I'd lie and say it's a wernism.
 
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mothman96 dijo:
The Starbucks girl was around 21 at the time of the incident. Lucas thought she was 16.

ETA:
What is he saying, a girl is soon to feel his nuts?

Ver archivo adjunto 1745020
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I feel like I’m in the amazon being interrogated by some tribe that has never contacted the outside world before and their language is equal parts hostile and fearful.
 
Fatal Walter dijo:
Wow, Lucas really sounds like a call from to catch a predator when he tries to talk sexy. He is very similar to Lorne Armstrong. But he doesn't even change what he's talking about. He just keeps rambling about telomeres and age gap love and flat bill hats.
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I listened to those voicemails on my drive home from work in a shitty old car that has an unfortunately awesome Bose system that it inexplicably came with.

If you think he's creepy on headphones or over computer speakers, it's about a million times worse on a really nice Bose surround sound system in a car.

Slimy Creep in 360 degree, locked in horror.

GoutfootHorseface dijo:
Presented without comment.
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So, in no particular order...he lost weight, gained most of it back and it's only not obvious because he learned how to use angles and Facetune, became homeless after trying to convince other people in his apartment building into "giving him a chick" for sex or he'd report them for drug dealing, flunked out of college, had three involuntary psych ward stays, got catfished about a dozen times, lured by a catfish from Olympia to Spokane, got trolled on a podcast for months, lost his mind over a Chris Hansen Cameo, got kicked out of every homeless shelter in Spokane, banned from several restaurants, a C&D from the scientist he idolized, got some old fashioned domestic violence on his record, managed to not get laid since the 450lb Edition Lucas photo, had multiple dick pics leaked because he keeps sending them to catfish, had multiple Facebook posts (that are still up) in which he admitted to being a pedophile go public, left multiple creepy voicemails to both catfish and just completely random women he found on IG that are from or living in Spokane, and became increasingly mentally unstable.

That's an interesting definition of success and of "good man".

The bar isn't on the ground, it's straight up gone.
 
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klickitat dijo:
I listened to those voicemails on my drive home from work in a shitty old car that has an unfortunately awesome Bose system that it inexplicably came with.

If you think he's creepy on headphones or over computer speakers, it's about a million times worse on a really nice Bose surround sound system in a car.

Slimy Creep in 360 degree, locked in horror.
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Thank god I 'm not the only one who listens to his ramblings in the car!
 
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