Lolcowmetrics

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oopsie doodle

can't stop thinking about 'roni
kiwifarms.net
Registrado
4 de Jul, 2022
I follow a variety of lolcows and that begs comparison. Identifying which characteristics are important is a natural first step. Now, obviously both obesity and retardation are keys to popularity on this site.

Mental illness, I think, is too broad of a category and I definitely don't feel like doing this in 3D to capture it. Sexual perversion also, but that's not that funny to me. My favorite lolcows seem to be fat sped narcissists because narcs get into petty squabbles and their grandstanding makes for perpetual and plentiful harvest.

As a test run: Jackie Singh, incredibly fat but also somehow even more retarded. Rick Tomlinson, almost as fat as Jackie, slightly less retarded, WAY more pathological. DSP? Less fat than either, about tied with Rick for retardation (lies that a child could see through and not being able to keep his story straight for 10 consecutive minutes). Ralph is somewhere in the same cluster. Not sure how Chris stacks up.

There are probably other clusters of lolcows and their attributes that would be funny, but that's all the effort I'm willing to put in for a thread that may not catch on.

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