Lolcow-themed drinks

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The Yandere Dev:

Take a fairly mediocre yet hyped up fruit liquor then procede to add all liquid items from your fridge. add salt (ELSEIF:) substitute sugar then leave on a shelf for several years.

Consume whilst looking at some big busty boobies. Make sure to slurp.
 
The Shit-lips:

A brown cow with bits of colossal crunch and a hint of drool.

Cilley Soda:

No alcohol. Just a smoothie of fruits and vegetables, served with positive thoughts in a children's cup.
 
The Hartley Hooligan -
A tall glass of vegetable juice, use a feeding tube as a straw

This thread got me thinking ; semen containing a part of glucose and fructose, would it be theorically possible to ferment and distill it to make alcohol ?
 
The Troon

INGREDIENTS
* white spirit
* Solvent Red 242 (a few grains)

HOW TO PREPARE IT
1. dissolve the dye in the white spirit
2. go around insisting the mixture you've just made is rosé, even though it smells like petrol, and if you actually drink it it'll make you very ill (assuming it doesn't kill you)
 
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