Lolcow Showdown - Hunger Games Style Showdown

[Patty Hitler]

The Wogglebug lady and her Nigerian scammer

 

[Spedestrian]

Spoony and his ability to temporarily escape reality by farming asspats on Twitter.

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

Nikocado Avocado and his ability to secrete fat through his tear ducts - powerful enough to flood an entire room.

 

[who dare wins?]

(Lolcow I made a thread in myself) cherrypaw wielding a virtual sword saying “if the child consents” aided by his personal guard of groomed child soldiers ready to commit discord Gayops.

 

[TV's Adam West]

Sam Fennah, flanked by his many furry demon creatures with decapitation fetishes (excluding Bob).

Bob Protection squad we out here.

DSP with highly contagious gout.

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

Shmorky with a yarnwig and a soiled diaper.

 

[Ivan Shatov]

Ron Toye dual wielding soy and snack trays.

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

Jace Connors with a Deagle.

 

[Burning Fanatic]

Jonathan Yaniv. His weapon would be his cane.

Nah, clearly it would be a taser and/or his fists.

 

[Pizza Time]

Destinytomoon, she attacks by drawing her enemies as nonbinary trans asexual lesbian couples.

 

[My Foot Hurts]

Jacob Sockness and his powerful Mommy Huggy.

 

[Murgeruni]

Put in any final nominations, posting the contenders and first round in about 2 hours.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Maddox.
His weapon will be his ability to fake crying in front of other dudes.


Don't forgot his coconut opening samurai sword.

And his endless supply of sambuca!

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

Digibro would wield a lolicon doujinshi on the end of chain, like a meteor-hammer, with a body pillow in his off handoff as a shield.
Mumkey would wield a rope, which he would use to hang himself.
Kay wouldn’t fight, but she would unleash her son. He has no weapon, only the tardstrength of ten men.
Where’s my Kiwifarms Super Smash Brothers?

 

[Murgeruni]

Final list
Tommy Tooter with homeless stank
Alex Mahan with his trusty, crusty body pillow
Marshall Casterson with the big book of Jehovah
Amberlynn Reid with her weaponized adipose featuring her lolcow lackey
Laur Trueman on the sidelines trying to desperately phone the cyber police
Foodie Beauty sniping people with her ballistic grade shit
Johnathan Yaniv is sitting this one out because he got arrested trying to get a new taser
Boogie with weaponized suicide baiting
DSP completely oblivious to the situation but still competing nonetheless
Sam Fennah trying to ritual summon some furry demons
Desmond and his rape van army
KingKobbraJFS and his recently deceased fuckdoll
Brianna Wu bisecting people with her pure Wundigo strength
Op and his weaponized autism
CWC and the power of friendship and mild autism
Ol' Sargon, Ultimate Champion of the Gamergate Showdown
Aztec Couch Cuck and his 9mm
Kero and his fuck-dog's blown out asshole
Lowtax with a blowgun and a pill bottle of ambien
Jacob Socktard and 20ccs of pure, liquid rape
Onision fitted only with a banana costume and a dream (to be liked again)
Wingsofredemption curled up in a corner and crying about getting stream sniped
Masaokis slicing the competition with a stupid fucking weeb sword
Drachenlord whipping out the big stick and masturbating on Wing's stream
Shmorky shitting his britches and chasing down little boys
Sorry I couldn't fit everyone's picks but I want to keep it around 24 for convenience's sake. Round up will be up in a little bit. Going through a hunger games generator and am going to rewrite the actual events to reflect the cow, if you guys think that I did it wrong let me know how shit would go down. Tardwar incoming.

 

[Pukebucket]

The Zoosadist crew has a AoE that causes -50 psych damage and induces vomiting in everyone who isn't into guro. They use weapons but they're weak as piss because the only things they can really torment are small animals and children, so go down easy if another cow can get close enough.

Attacking Zoosadists will aggro any furries nearby, causing them to frenzy and attack anything around them, including other furries, normies, zoophiles, pedophiles, and zoosadists in their confusion of trying to work out if they're just as bad as them or not for wanting to fuck Scooby Doo.