Lolcow Clerihews

[Ginger Piglet]

If you don't know what a clerihew is, it's a 4-line poem in an AABB rhyme structure with uneven length lines in which the first line is the name of the subject and which is biographical in nature. It's a bit like a limerick but shorter and more autismal, basically.

I'll start.

Christian Weston Chandler
Should have been allotted a tard wrangler.
But this wouldn't do,
Because then there'd be no Sonichu.

 

[AA 102]

Julie Terryberry,
As a lolcow her antics were scary,
She didn't like being mocked,
Now her thread is locked.

 

[ZehnBoat]

"Pristine" Christine
Hair the color of Listerine
inventor of sonichu
fights the trolls, darkies, and jews

 

[Ntwadumela]

We've all seen a "Cute Focks"
He sucks big black cocks
His real name is Alex C. Leal
His delusions about being a fox are real.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Brianna Wu
Has no clue.
Cries about GamerGate
When faced with justifiable hate.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Marjan Siklic
Needed to have his head stitched
When he begged his mother
To be his lover.

 

[AA 102]

On the Fourth of July,
Phil constructed a lie,
So every year on that day,
Phil can say his dad was gay.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Ahuviya Rotem Harel
Or Phil Haskins, or ADF as well.
Transgender latinx spectacular,
Or a wanker, in the vernacular.

 

[Enjoy your spaghetti]

Nick Bate
Inspired non A-log hate
Fascinated by shit
Now his life is it

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Cora Segal
Wanted dissenting views to be made illegal.
When she was alarmed
She flapped her fat arms.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Sam Smith (aka Matt Hopkins)
Not even a failed lolsuit could stop him.
Underage fans of Evanescence
Caused his penis to enter a state of tumescence.

 

[Carlos Thin]

Nick Bate
Loves them under eight
His life full of fail,
Is now forty years of jail

 

[MrJakeTerror]

Faye Kane Codger Brain,
Her saggy tits, we all disdain.
Talks nonstop of basement rape
And calling every Muslim ape.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Briana Wu
Had box checking to do
Special edition costs 13 bucks
But it still fucking sucks