- Registrado
- 10 de Nov, 2019
If Trevor Bauer wasn't white he'd be back in the MLB. Yet having the wrong politics and buttfucking whores has resulted in him having to go to Japan.
Lolcow athletes
- Iniciador del tema Meat Target
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Franz Joseph
kiwifarms.net
- Registrado
- 12 de Jun, 2021
And considering the two players taken right after Russell became hall of famers, it makes his selection even worse in hindsight.
- Registrado
- 13 de Dic, 2022
Cornette's insider perspective on the inner workings of 80s-early 2000's era pro wrestling is great, and his knowledge of pro wrestling history is probably unrivaled by anyone around today. I like listening to his podcast because that era is the stuff that I grew up on. And while I know he hated the over-the-top gimmicky stuff, as a little kid at the time I totally ate that stuff up. To me, people like Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior were literally larger than life "real" superheroes. Plus, when he goes off on one of his unhinged rants about "shitstain" (Vince Russo) or peels back the curtain on interesting people or topics, I find it fascinating. Yeah, he has an almost terminal case of TDS, but politics aside I think he would definitely be a better choice for creative ideas than whatever revolving cast of nobodies has been in charge of WWF for the last decade or so.
I think its the literal cognitive disconnect between normal everyday people and someone who has been extremely wealthy and surrounded by yes-men for decades. He slowly started getting more and more involved with the "product" as the years went by. Hell, why else would the billionaire owner of a company in his 50s get jacked on steroids and reinvent himself as as an egotistical, crazy heel boss?
Oh, and let's not forget this defining moment in history.
- Registrado
- 13 de Ene, 2022
Imagine believing this. The only reason he doesn't (always) act like your typical Argentinian subhuman is because he doesn't speak English. The only reason he's still playing is because he wants to get the 5th Champions League to match Ronaldo. The extremely gay media basically curated an image surrounding him to be the "hero", while Ronaldo is the "villain". It's not surprising midwits like you fall for their gayops
If he actually wanted to retire with dignity, he should have done it after the World Cup. He didn't.
Última edición:
- Registrado
- 24 de Jun, 2020
Necro'ing this thread to report that Trevor Bauer has been exonerated in this matter. The thot lied.
- Registrado
- 16 de Mar, 2019
Simone Biles on normie topside is getting an awful lot of attention by the media for being a "brave black gorl" despite being a fucking quitter in the 2020 Olympics. "OH LOOK LOOK AT OUR DOG SHE'S WINNING GOLD MEDALS IN AMERICA" Yeah that's great, how about a fucking gold medal in a worldwide competition? If there was ever evidence of minstrelism in this country, Simone Biles is it. Literally a monkey to her white masters, that's for sure.
- Registrado
- 11 de Ago, 2020
Ronaldo is the "villain" because he can't stop seething about being 2nd best. Messi lives rent free in his head to this day, it's actually pretty sad.
- Registrado
- 22 de Oct, 2023
My annoyance with him, was how people fawned over him because he was essentially a meme prior to the Sexual Assault thing. Plus, besides the fact it was agreed to, it's still a very odd kink. The other main annoyance is now the fact that every discussion is "he dindu nuthin, everyone just hatin' on him" from his fans, and the "he is the spawn of Satan" from his detractors.
Thought this was the NFL coach for a second, who is also kind of a lolcow.
You can also throw in the Raiders post 2002 in the lolcow territory, considering Al Davis was a sperg about speed.
Thread Tax: I'm surprised no one has said Kaepernick, considering:
>He was seen as the next big thing despite inheriting a team that was two muffed punts away from the super bowl the previous season
>barely squeak into SB XLVII after the Falcons do their usual thing and choke.
>Need a 20 min break in said SB to avoid not getting blown out.
>He declines each season, to the point of getting benched for Blaine Gabbert.
>Does his faux BLM grift because the spotlight was getting away from him
>Gets several chances to become a QB1 in different leagues, only to say no cause they aren't paying NFL money
>Throws his adoptive parents under the bus in a comic in order to keep the grift going
Última edición:
- Registrado
- 1 de Jul, 2015
The one Danica moment that stood out to me, was when Reddit voted Josh Wise into the 2014 All-Star race over her. I don't remember how butthurt she was, compared to the fans that said that she got robbed of her spot.
Speaking of drivers, Tracy Krohn I guess sort of qualifies for lolcow criteria, if racing poorly counts, and also because he was a rich oil man that wanted to race as a hobby, I think. The amount of times he has spun at LeMans would put modern-day gymnasts to shame.
- Registrado
- 14 de Mar, 2021
This comment aged well lol
I'll add a few off the top of my head
Chris Eubank
Britney Spears
Bam Margera
Michael Rapaport
Any junkie singer (Pete Docherty, Shane McGowan, Amy Winehouse)
- Registrado
- 29 de Dic, 2017
And what sports did they play?
- Registrado
- 14 de Mar, 2021
Sorry I'm a retard with zero attention span. I seen Vince Mcmahon and it changed to celebrities in my head.
Chris Eubank was a boxer who's a bit eccentric
- Registrado
- 23 de Feb, 2022
I don't think Danica was a cow during her racing career as much as she was a meme. She had some funny moments such as fighting Denny Hamlin and being the only Nascar driver in history to take herself out instead of the driver she was trying to wreck, but she was largely an irrelevant, mediocre driver whose career was only kept afloat for so long due to corporate astroturfing- in a sense, the proto-Bubba Wallace.
Her post-racing career, though? Absolutely. There's the weird relationship with Aaron Rodgers, the crystals thing, the QAnon thing, and going on Sky Sports every week to embarrass herself with her lack of knowledge about the sport she did for two decades.
- Registrado
- 1 de Dic, 2016
Danica didn't so much as "Fight" Virginia's Finest Crybaby (Hamlin was a notorious on-track bully who went full pussybitch when Joey Logano had enough of his shit and pitted him into a wall, concussing him) as it was more like an awkward dispute between some guy and his ex-wife (especially when you hear the audio). Oh, there was that time when Danica allegedly threatened to kick Alex Bowman in the balls, and that time when she created an entire clothing line solely because she discovered "Native American" Lore in Arizona, replete with fake totem eagles and all. Plus, the temper tantrums she spewed on her team radio are the stuff of legend. And yes despite all of this, I consider racing drivers "athletes". To not do so is a No True Scotsman, especially considering the actual harm they face on the track, namely the risk of death despite years of advancements in safety tech. Especially considering that drivers, crew, marshals and even spectators are still killed on the track to this day, and in the case of Rallying, on the roads as well.
What's not "the stuff of legend" is this dopey slob of a "guy":
Say hello to Jon Allen Herb (born 1st of June 1970 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States of America), slow-as-shit Indycar and ARCA driver and Convicted Paedophile.
Herb's career was pathetic and slow, his only "notable" highlight as a driver was willing the essence of a thousand creepy gym teachers and finished 9th at Texas Motor Speedway in October 2001, nearly a full month after 9/11 happened. It was his only top-ten finish and soon after, he would barely finish in any of the subsequent seasons in Indycar, even failing to qualify for the Indy 500 twice. The only "other" highlight? Winning an Indy Lights (now known as "Indy NXT") race in Phoenix, Arizona, contributing to a 7th place table finish by the end of the 2005 season with 364 points, in a mediocre field that had drivers 10-15 years his junior (including one Scott Mansell, now known as "Driver 61" on YouTube) and yes, "his junior" would prove to be an aspect of foreshadowing as on the 4th of October 2013, his wife would make a horrorcow-level discovery: It turns out that after Herb sold his cars to former CART/Champ-Car teams in the aftermath of Champ-Car's memetic implosion, he used tons of that money to not only store gigabytes of Child Porn on his Laptop and other computers but also produce child porn of himself engaging in sexual activity with a four-year-old girl in his hometown of North Naples, Collier County, Florida.
Naturally, the police vanned this faggot hard and swift, tagging him on 246 charges of child pornography production, possession and solicitation before the subsequent trial. It was reduced to 13 at the end of the trial and on the 4th of January 2016, (after pleading "no contest" LOL) Jon Allen Herb was sentenced to 25 years in Prison and a Lifetime Probation for those 13 counts of possessing child porn and is currently incarcerated in some prison in Florida where he is presumably getting the shit kicked out of him/raped/potentially having someone plotting his inevitable death because, under Florida Law, Herby the Pervy is expected to serve 85% of his sentence, though considering how the State of Florida and most Floridians (including Null) despise pedo-wiggers like Herby here, not only is he going to serve all 25 years, he's also going to be likely forced by both economical circumstances and by social ostracism to live in a commune dedicated to housing sex offenders in the Sunshine State for the rest of his life when he gets out in 2041, by that point, Herb will be 70/71-years-old and poor, so if you do find yourself in Miracle Village, FL 17 years from now (at the time of this post's writing) you may find a balding Herby in the wild, don't post his ugly geriatric face here, but you CAN write to us about seeing him in the wild for the lulz.
Herby's not the only pedo-cunt in Motorsports either, the land of fast cars, ovals, desolate road courses that rednecks, middle-aged anoraks and 20-30 something autistic fantards on the Internet like EmpLemon, Josh Rivell and their teenaged, terminally on Discord, Twitter and Reddit ilk sperg over online also has another vile man on most prisoners' kill lists:
This is Gary Thomas Brabham (born 29th of March 1961 in Wimbledon, Surrey (now in the London Borough of Merton), United Kingdom) Middle son of Three-time Formula One Champion Sir Jack Brabham. Comically sluggish driver for Life in 1990 and an all-around cancerous blob of a human being who is "absolutely not" on anyone's kill list, allegedly.
For reasons that are mostly linked to daddy Jack's name, Gary's career, like his more successful elder brother (and multiple times endurance racing champion at IMSA in addition to winning Le Mans in 1993) Geoff and Younger Brother (also a Le Mans winner, this time in 2009 for the same marque as Geoff, Peugeot) David initially began in single-seaters. The general public didn't give a shit about him so Jack had to use his clout and riches to build a team for him to even compete in British Formula Three for the 1986 season. The only positive thing I can rationally say about Gary is that unlike Herby who was memetically slow, retarded and erratic to the point where he often couldn't turn left on an Oval at any speed is that some of that fast driver gene was passed down to him and he was often able to show what he COULD do in a car (such as challenging Australian Touring Car veteran and Orgone Energy Advocate Peter Brock at 1987 Bathurst 1000, defeating Eddie Jordan's legendary feeder series (and in later years, F1 efforts) in the inaugural British F3000 Championship in 1989 (which included a driver field that contained Damon Hill, Roland Ratzenberger, Perry McCarthy, and winning the 12 Hours of Sebring in 1991 alongside his elder brother Geoff and absolute mad lad and completely engorged man of culture, in addition to one of Ireland's favourite sons who isn't a terrorist, Derek Daly for Nissan. Gary would also mentor Comedian and Actor Rowan Atkinson CBE (or "Mr Bean" and "Blackadder" in the minds of non-car fans) and Olympic Equestrian medalist (Gold at Munich 1972, yes, the one where the Israelis got gunned down and Mossad agents got detained by the Norwegians for killing one of the gunmen there, and Silver at Seoul 1988 ) Captain Mark Phillips, first husband of Princess Anne, the sister of current (at time of writing) Limeystan Monarch and Cancer Patient, Charles III.
However, Gary is best known for driving at Life, one of the slowest racing teams of all time, he lasted for two races in the 1990 Formula One season, failing to pre-qualify at both Phoenix, Arizona and Interlagos, Sao Paulo, Brazil. At Pheonix, Brabham set a time of 2:07.147, this was 35.855 seconds slower than the Pole Time set by Gerhard Berger (1:28.664, which was the Q1 time, because the later sessions were called off due to rain, qualifying was also notable for Ken Tyrrell signing for Pirelli over Goodyear two days before the race, after 18 years and multiple titles won with Goodyear-clad rubber, due to the US brand's inability to deal with wet weather, in Arizona, a state known for having occasional monsoon-level rains). At Brazil, Brabham's Life threw a connecting rod, 400 meters in, on his first lap. Gary left Life in disgust. Poetically ironic, considering his later actions.
An image containing several articles detailing Gary's woeful time at Life Racing Engines, a 9-man team of Italian Privateers who thought it was a good idea to race around the world with a heavy, slow W12 Engine. Of note for Gary's future, of course, are the "Brabham gets two two-year Life sentence" and "Gary's Life expectancy" article titles. Sourced via the hive of motorsport Autism that is the Formula One Subreddit.
After retiring in 1995 due to complications relating to being too slow and irrelevant to race anymore.
Eight years later, Gary Brabham would rape a 6-year-old girl in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. He also molested the girl again in 2007. The victim, who can't be named because Australia loves censorship, described to police that Gary the Groper would digitally insert his fingers "...inside her vagina as she sat on his lap, wearing shorts, while he drove a car". Because Australia is a shithole former-Limey Penal Colony, they allowed this creepy cunt to censor his name during the hearings in 2009, which sent him to a high-security jail in Wacol, a Brisbane suburb for the charges of "Indecent dealing with a minor under 12 years". They also allowed him to serve a light sentence. He was convicted again in 2016 under separate charges of one count of Rape and one count of "Indecent treatment of a Child, then aged six". Of note are two things 1) The minor only told her mother of her ordeal in 2013 due to fear and passive intimidation of Gary's family name and 2) Gary's defence attorney and greater defence team pleaded with the judge (one Brad Farr SC) to have the victim's families leave separately because they were worried that a fight of Scottish Wedding proportions might arise. Though Justice Farr reminded them that he already requested extra security inside the courtroom for the case specifically for the hypothetical scenario where a fight MIGHT happen, he did, however, order (under strict recommendation) both families (the minor's family and the Brabham family) to depart the courtroom separately and silently, which the victim's family and the then-19-year-old victim herself (at the time of the court trial in March 2016) complied, without encountering any member of the Brabham family.
Unfortunately, the sentencing was equally lax and pathetic, as Geoff was only convicted to 18 months of prison time and despite his appeal in September 2016 deservedly failing, was released early on "compassionate grounds" after six months.
YES, you've heard that right motherfuckers, SIX MONTHS!
Of course, you're not the only ones pissed off by this verdict. The people of the State of Queensland were also infuriated, sickened and angered by such laxness demonstrated by the State's woeful court system. To the point where they drafted a petition on Change dot org to protest the decision AND other related decisions of leniency towards sex offenders and other paedophiles. It contains such gems as "Queensland’s child sex offender sentences are weak and offensive – they need urgent review. These dangerous laws sicken me", and "The judge reported that Gary showed ‘no remorse’. He even tried to appeal this lenient sentence. He’s now out, free to abuse innocent victims again." and my personal favourite, which sums up the level of failure that Queensland's legal system has demonstrated "Yet the Queensland justice system is allowing this behaviour, continuing to fail abused children, knowingly letting a child sex offender walk our streets." Need I say more?
Currently, the petition is still active. Why am I telling you this? And why am I even linking the Change dot org petition? Because right now as I am typing this post, it's at 185,297 signatures, and they need 200,000 for the public inquiry to even reach the State level in Queensland. If you're as upset about pedophiles as the people who created the petition, I am going to break the rules both on Kiwi Farms and Encyclopaedia Dramatica and recommend to all users here and elsewhere that YOU SIGN THE PETITION AND PROMOTE IT ONLINE! As Australia doesn't have a public sex offender registry, who knows what Gary is doing now? Unlike Jon Herb (who is eating a Florida Prison Delicacy with extra Semen and fists, face first, courtesy of his fellow inmates) and many lolcows listed on this forum, we do not know where Gary Brabham is, nor do we know if he isn't molesting children as we speak. Gary is currently 62, going on 63-years-old as of February 2024. There is no doubt in my mind that Gary WILL offend again, or is still molesting children right now. The bastard is a habitual sexual deviant and is more than willing to spend several years molesting a single child and use his clout to silence her for many years. This man is unfit to roam the outside world, he is too depraved to touch the same grass as any of us here or anywhere on this fucked up planet we call Planet Earth.
It's your choice to make a change after all.
- Registrado
- 23 de Feb, 2022
Oh, yeah, I forgot about her radio temper tantrums. They happened every single week. She complained about anyone and everyone, but nothing was her own fault. I think it was Dale Jr. who said something like "She'd run a red light and then blame you for hitting her."
I don't think there's anything particularly cow-ish about the people you listed, though. They're just depraved individuals who represent the worst of humanity. There's nothing really funny about a couple of chomos. Danica is a cow due to her meltdowns, the fake tough-guy posturing, and the off-track antics. Bubba Wallace is a cow due to his attitude and anger problems and activist grifting. Tia Norfleet is a cow for being an open scammer. The guys you listed aren't cows, just kiddie diddlers.
- Registrado
- 11 de Ago, 2020
Ronaldo celebrates breaking the single season goal record in the Saudi Pro League. It was set by some guy named Hamdallah in 2018. Al Nassr haven't won a trophy since he joined, and their main rivals have already won the league this year.
Just wanted to make sure you see this, bro.
- Registrado
- 1 de Jul, 2015
How were Danica's radio tantrums, in comparison to the Busch brothers's tantrums? And at least the Busch brothers actually can drive a race car properly. And both of them also did calm down on the radio in their later years.
- Registrado
- 1 de Dic, 2016
To Necro-reply here, they are cows in the sense that they are Horrorcows. Again, the Farms contain plenty of child molesters and sex pest creepazoids of the highest order. Some are even worse than both Herb and Brabham. Plus, they were shit and slow drivers to boot, especially Herb. One aspect of being a lolcow is to not only blame others for your failures, but you must also be bad at your job and chosen sport. And even when you're "good" at said sport, you can still demonstrate a level of either social weirdness, a lack of self-awareness and especially a certain level of criminal depravity. And again, ticking off one box in the list qualifies.