Let's Sperg Let's Sperg: Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition - The Adventures of Alabamy Tranny

  • 🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
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You don't see anything around, so you might have to look elsewhere.
Those were your initial thoughts before Jaheira hijacked a bucket of water from the stables and dunked it over your head. The water was still cold from the chilly morning air, prompting a shiver fit. You're so oppressed and cry like the great martyr Pixyteri.


Gather up a good bundle of these twigs and leaves. They will be crucial to us for the long journey ahead.
I think too many people have been demeaning to us. Its time to assert our righteousness as a black transwoman made ciswoman by an evil belt oppressively against her will by taking charge of this group, and boldly declare our intent to travel south with confidence!

.. you know, in a minute. We'll take a moment or two to tell ourselves we can do this so that we come across as extra confident.
 
Maybe we can make some alternative SJW art out of leaves and twigs. Is there anyone decided quest-giver-looking around? >.>
You talk to the guard and offer him a newly made sculpture. Maybe he'll give you gold for it?

He asks you why you're handing him a mess of twigs and leaves tied together.

It's not a mess, you inform him. It's a social commentary on the patriarchy.

Riiiiight. He looks unimpressed.

You ask him if he'd like to buy it, but he declines. He'll pass, thanks.

You screech at him defensively and run back to your group, tears in your eyes.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ogx8aMbo2Eg
Gather up a good bundle of these twigs and leaves. They will be crucial to us for the long journey ahead.
I think too many people have been demeaning to us. Its time to assert our righteousness as a black transwoman made ciswoman by an evil belt oppressively against her will by taking charge of this group, and boldly declare our intent to travel south with confidence!

.. you know, in a minute. We'll take a moment or two to tell ourselves we can do this so that we come across as extra confident.

You gather more twigs and leaves, despite Jaheira's complaints that all you'll accomplish is poking your eye out. Pffft. Like she knows anything.

You stand at the edge of the map, facing the way you came the night before, and take several deep, long breaths. This lasts for about 10 minutes, and the only thing surprising about the group - mainly Jaheira - complaining about it was that they didn't do so sooner.

The walk to the crossroads is uneventful and you aren't waylaid by enemies for the entirety of the trip. You still carry on your person the faint scent of vomit, but without a water source nearby everyone will have to deal with it for the time being. The familiar stone pillar was a welcoming sight, if one ignored the corpses of Xzar and Montaron being pecked upon by buzzards. You can hear Khalid trying his darnedest to keep her breakfast down.

Since going east was a bust last time, it's probably for the best to avoid that path for now. You can continue south, or you can go west.

I've been thinking of, instead of grinding, doing edits in EE Keeper. Just for flow, of course, since it can take forever to grind in BG1 due to its system. Let me know what you guys think of this idea.
 
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I've been thinking of, instead of grinding, doing edits in EE Keeper. Just for flow, of course, since it can take forever to grind in BG1 due to its system. Let me know what you guys think of this idea.

TL;DR Version:
Rule Zero.

TL Version:
You're the DM far as I can tell (I mean, the game engine is kinda co-dming, but..), We just happen to be like, 15 Kiwis all playing the same schitzo character in some perverse version of "Everybody is John." You know, except when we hijack another character in order to move the plot along when the hivemind fails to move forward BUUUT...

Anyways, all my rambling aside, whatever helps you keep producing kwality khantent, I'm in favor of.

If you want to "hide" the random level ups and such, I suggest making a bit of a game out of it. Anytime you deem the Kiwis did something clever or "complete a quest", you could give out a boost in exp. Did Albamy finally finish her quest to get a shower? Or in the very least, came up with some creative way to deal with the smell? 200 xp. That kinda thing.

Instructions unclear. Your girl-penis is stuck in a tree. You're really not sure how that happened, and neither are your party members.

Jaheira glares at you like you're a complete idiot.

Wait, aren't we wearing a magical belt that makes us a TRUE and HONEST womyn? Then...

... What was it that got stuck in the tree..?
[DRAMATIC STING MUSIC]

Furthermore even if we were to have girl cocks, which we're not entirely sure we do at this point (I'd ask for another inventory check, but perhaps ambiguity in this case is the best way to go least we start having to make sanity rolls), we should be able to stick them into whatever we damn well please. Keeping our womynly growth shackled away is just one more way the Patriarchy wins. But, in the future, lets try and find something with less danger of splinters, with... whatever it was that got stuck... there.

I think I'm still hungover.

Anyways, South is where all the cool kids go.
 
Oooh, clever! I like. I'll keep a virtual die handy for this.

... What was it that got stuck in the tree..?

Erm. Lets just head south until we find something interesting. And keep our girlcock in our panties.
Anyways, South is where all the cool kids go.
Southward you are bound, your head hurting from all of the logistics. Night soon falls upon you after you (accidentally) crash into slumber. This is exactly what based goddess Tumblr warned you about when she stated in her tenets that logic is the bane of all things.

The journey continues as soon as you wake, and the group walks along the designated cobbled path at the behest of Jaheira. Jaheira is a strong independent woman with a whipped husband, so you don't question her judgement.

You feel yourself getting closer to the edge of the map your destination, but that isn't the only thing you feel. Something is watching your every move from the darkness of the woods.

UmoQR7S.png


Kobolds! Awww, how cute. They yip just like puppies! You're distracted long enough for one of them to gnaw on your ankles, and suddenly they're not so cute anymore. Screaming uncontrollably and attracting even more kobolds your way, you beat it in the head with a stick rather than the more logical action of stabbing it in the head with your sword.

Jaheira and her husband make quick work of them as you sit behind a giant boulder, crying and holding your poor, poor ankle.

Ya should bandage that, Imoen suggests.

But it hurts and you could get some pity points out of it, so you just continue crying. This goes on until it's clear you won't be getting any pity, save from the dirty - if submissive - cis male Khalid, so you dry your tears and bandage it yourself. It wasn't even that deep anyway, not that you'd readily admit it.

According to a stone sign you pass, you're headed to Beregost. Maybe once you're there you'll be able to get a nice bath in.

Just along the path, you meet a messenger. He doesn't really have anything interesting to say, save that he's headed to Beregost and blah blah blah.

Du7BEKc.png


There isn't anything to respond to, and he doesn't seem interested in conversing with a beautiful transwomyn anyway like the transphobe he is, so you let him be on his way.

nUFeblK.png


Uh, transphobic shitlord?

mFVw1Pj.png


???

You would assume that he's an... exceptional individual, but that would be ableist and you know how Tumblr feels about ableism. Of course, he's also a transphobe so maybe that tenet doesn't apply.

In a few hours' time, you arrive in Beregost.

gFhXWsh.png


Your first sight of the town is... a couple of cows. You're pretty sure they're stealthily insulting you and your beautiful transness, your proof of that your feelings of oppression. You remove your journal from your pack to crywrite some more when Imoen interrupts you, barely containing her excitement.

bUzb5Ct.png
 
God all three of those choices are good.

I say put on a blind fold, put three numbers up on your wall, throw a dart, take your roommate to the hospital for a completely unrelated dart wound, then just chose one at random using a six sided die.
 
God all three of those choices are good.

I say put on a blind fold, put three numbers up on your wall, throw a dart, take your roommate to the hospital for a completely unrelated dart wound, then just chose one at random using a six sided die.
Yep, either 1d3 it or 1d6 it with the choices in 2s (1/2=1, 3/4=2, 5/6=3)
 

But-but, rolling actual dice is so much more fun!

Still.

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 11.25.15 AM.png


I guess we're going to put or ravishing black transwomyn beauty to the test. I mean, I guess we can let Imoen talk (At least people will think she's the chatty, brain type, and continue to admire me for my beauty), but she'll probably just screw it up, so we'll be a good big transister and teach her the Tumblr Death Stare of Oppression.
 
But-but, rolling actual dice is so much more fun!

Still.

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I guess we're going to put or ravishing black transwomyn beauty to the test. I mean, I guess we can let Imoen talk (At least people will think she's the chatty, brain type, and continue to admire me for my beauty), but she'll probably just screw it up, so we'll be a good big transister and teach her the Tumblr Death Stare of Oppression.
If you want it to at least feel more Dicey: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm
 
I'm sorry for being absent for so long. Unfortunately, I return with bad news.

The laptop that had Baldur's Gate on it has died. Hardware failure, so there's no saving it and everything is gone. I don't know if I'll pick this up again or even when, but for now Alabamy Tranny's adventures have come to an end.

I really appreciate you guys playing along with this. It's been really fun.
 
I'm sorry for being absent for so long. Unfortunately, I return with bad news.

The laptop that had Baldur's Gate on it has died. Hardware failure, so there's no saving it and everything is gone. I don't know if I'll pick this up again or even when, but for now Alabamy Tranny's adventures have come to an end.

I really appreciate you guys playing along with this. It's been really fun.
did the hard drive fail?
 
I'm sorry for being absent for so long. Unfortunately, I return with bad news.

The laptop that had Baldur's Gate on it has died. Hardware failure, so there's no saving it and everything is gone. I don't know if I'll pick this up again or even when, but for now Alabamy Tranny's adventures have come to an end.

I really appreciate you guys playing along with this. It's been really fun.

You could just install onto whatever computer you're currently using and spend about 20 minutes getting back to where you left off.
 
did the hard drive fail?
Pretty much. It was at a point where nothing could be done to save it and and it would've cost an arm and a leg to do it even if I could've. At this point, I'm just saving up for a new(ish) computer altogether.

You could just install onto whatever computer you're currently using and spend about 20 minutes getting back to where you left off.
Unfortunately, that's not a good idea. This laptop is older (and really not made for gaming, not even something like BG) and I don't want to push my luck right now. Would if I could, but I'd rather this hold me out until I can get my hands on a new computer that I know can handle a game than take a gamble.
 
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