Let's Sperg Let's Sperg: Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition - The Adventures of Alabamy Tranny

[Sammy]

Option 2. No self respecting black t r a nswomyn gnome follows the Patriarchy's Law.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Option 2. No self respecting black t r a nswomyn gnome follows the Patriarchy's Law.

Fucky you, you tell the guardsman. I do what I waaaaant.

Like hells you will, says the other guardsman. You'll follow the rules like everyone else! I suggest you stay out of trouble.

You feel very oppressed. You decide tell people that the guards beat you for being a black transwomyn as you're allowed inside. Gotta get those oppression points somehow.

Before doing anything else, you head to the local church. It's not one dedicated to Tumblr and you're an atheist anyway, but it's run by a woman so it's all good. It would be a good idea (hint, hint) to get some potions here, and maybe check out what that belt does. Of course, you could just put it on and find out...

 

[Sammy]

Wear that belt. And moving forward, equip every magical item we come across without any identification or caution. Life is short, and there's no time for studying!

Stock up on some potions, but insist that they have to be hypoallergenic and cruelty free.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Wear that belt. And moving forward, equip every magical item we come across without any identification or caution. Life is short, and there's no time for studying!

Stock up on some potions, but insist that they have to be hypoallergenic and cruelty free.

You buy a single potion, since that's all you have money for. You're pretty sure back towards Candlekeep you saw something gleaming in a hollowed out tree, but that's future you's problem.

You put on the girdle...

...and find your ugly growth gone.

Imoen is ecstatic.

 

[Sammy]

Finally! Now the world will see us for the woman we are on the inside!

But wait....
If-if we actually are a woman now, we can no longer condemn others for their cis-privilege! My identity as someone perpetually repressed by society because I am the specialist snowflake is in danger! Having exactly what I wanted has never been so triggering! This is horrible! I must free myself of the curse that has transformed me into a woman so I can continue to pursue my quest of being recognized as a woman in the body I was born in!

But as for Imoen's conversation, I'm really curious about this frog thing. 3. On the other hand, I'm going to actually have to learn a lot about biology now that was previously only something cis-women were concerned about, so maybe 2. Perhaps the next player should decide between the two, I'm just too triggered right now.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Finally! Now the world will see us for the woman we are on the inside!

But wait....
If-if we actually are a woman now, we can no longer condemn others for their cis-privilege! My identity as someone perpetually repressed by society because I am the specialist snowflake is in danger! Having exactly what I wanted has never been so triggering! This is horrible! I must free myself of the curse that has transformed me into a woman so I can continue to pursue my quest of being recognized as a woman in the body I was born in!

But as for Imoen's conversation, I'm really curious about this frog thing. 3. On the other hand, I'm going to actually have to learn a lot about biology now that was previously only something cis-women were concerned about, so maybe 2. Perhaps the next player should decide between the two, I'm just too triggered right now.

The Goddess of Indecisiveness has decided! Option 3 it shall be!

Alas, you learn nothing. Imoen denies any knowledge and suggests you get back on the road.

You're almost to the inn, so naturally this means another NPC will interrupt you.

 

[Sammy]

Option 3. I'm not in the mood for getting eyeball raped today by someone who doesn't understand my struggle.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Option 3. I'm not in the mood for getting eyeball raped today by someone who doesn't understand my struggle.

Go away, you tell the man. Your catcalling is triggering me!

It's the patriarchy, come to kill you. You take a moment to crywrite into your journal again before taking on this transphobic asshole.

As you fight, one of the guards notices the scuffle and takes your side, helping you kill this transphobic bastard. You won't thank him, however. He's a guard, and guards don't REALLY care about black transwomyn. You tell him so, but he just shrugs it off and gets back to work.

Whatever meager loot Tarnesh had is yours now. What's this? A note? And it's a bounty letter?

What's more, it's one about you! Someone thinks you're only worth 200 gold! ...Oh, yeah, and someone wants you - a beautiful black transwomyn - dead.

As soon as you take the scrolls, Imoen snatches them from you and shows great interest in them.

Wow! she says. Tarnesh has all sorts of stuff in this spellbook! Wonder if I can turn you into a frog?

 

[QI 541]

Option 3. I don't feel like a transamphibian today.

 

[Sammy]

Go inside the inn and find the darkest corner to brood in like Aragorn. That'll be a good place to hide the fact that we need a good cry after everything that's happened this night.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Option 3. I don't feel like a transamphibian today.

Well, says Imoen, looks like someone already turned you into a JERK. She sarcastically thanks you for your 'concern.' Despite you telling her not to be a spastic, she seems insistent on wanting to learn spells.

Go inside the inn and find the darkest corner to brood in like Aragorn. That'll be a good place to hide the fact that we need a good cry after everything that's happened this night.

In good time, friend. Imoen needs to not blow herself up first. Little siblings, amirite?

 

[alex_theman]

1, because we are not a shitlord

 

[caffeinated_wench]

1, because we are not a shitlord

You implore Imoen to be very careful. Magic isn't a toy!

She blows off your concerns, assuring you that she'll be fiiiiine. She has some good learning and she'll be slingin' spells in no time!

All of this was told to you in terrible backwoods Common.

The tavern is full of chatter and drunken louts, and you're pretty sure you saw one of said louts checking out your new C-cup milking breasts with tits and everything. Ugh! Disgusting how they sexualize transwomyn!

One of those louts approaches you, attempting to make conversation.

Naturally, he does this by talking about himself. For some reason, you're not feeling particularly bitchy right now.

 

[Sammy]

1.What his uncle does isn't important because it doesn't directly affect me.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

1.What his uncle does isn't important because it doesn't directly affect me.

Where have you been these past few months? There are bandits everywhere trying to take whatever iron they can off of travelers, he tells you. Surely you met some on your way here?

Er, right, you say. Bandits. That's totally what those guys you murdered were.

He's not really sure what's going on in that head of yours and he doesn't really care. Maybe you came from the west road, he guesses. That one's still open.

 

[IceGray]

Ask why is the west still open.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Ask why is the west still open.

You ask him why that road is still open.

That there road leads to Candlekeep, he replies, and ain't no way a bunch o' bandits are gonna steal from a library. They probably can't even read anyways.

He did have a point there. He also mentions something about Amn and Baldur's Gate and tension, but you were preoccupied with scoping out a corner to cry in. Jopi has to get back on the road now, so he wishes you well with whatever it is you're doing.

You find a nice spot near the entrance so that anyone coming in would be forced to pay attention to you.

You notice, however, that someone is occupying your precious corner, so you approach him to tell him to fuck off. Can't he see you're triggered?

Well, now you're just triggered further.

 

[alex_theman]

 

[Sammy]

Are you kidding me? We aren't going to take that kinda abuse from anybody, especially some smelly half orc! press so hard you break your keyboard to not support rape culture.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Are you kidding me? We aren't going to take that kinda abuse from anybody, especially some smelly half orc! press so hard you break your keyboard to not support rape culture.

Like an autist, you roll a 3d100 to decide.
The dice say , but your Tumblrite nature says .

Instead of picking either option, you screech at him about oppression while half-sobbing.

No matter what answer you managed to squeal out, the half-orc has already guessed it was a case of mistaken identity. Why are you bothering him if you're not there to serve him ale? Get out of his face!

You return to your corner to cry some more.

When you finally finish a few hours later, your distress only ending when Imoen orders you some hot wings, you take the chance to look around. There are two half-elves standing in the corner furthest away from you, on the other side of the room in fact, and a gnome manning the bar. There are stairs leading to the second floor, which are bound to have some goodies.

Press to check out this floor.
Press to find out what mischief we can get into.