I go through phases where I eat very little, otherwise I have a tendency to binge eat. I'm always on one extreme or another. Anyway, my husband was concerned one night. He told me that I "looked smaller" and that he didn't want me to wither away. Me, being obsessed with keeping my weight down, I told him I'd rather wither away than roll away. He laughed and asked me if I came up with that myself.
It's too specific for most contexts, but it was a witty moment for me.
Also: a man asks his wife what she's thinking about when she starts giggling all of a sudden. She says to him, "I just thought of the perfect name for your penis — Mr. Dinky," as if it's the greatest burn in the world. He stares her square in the face and tells her, "that's interesting 'cause I was going to start calling your pussy Lucy."
Really fucking lame and unoriginal, but that's about as far as my head'll go.
