jokes thread - WE NEED MORE DEAD JOKES THREADS

[herefortheactualthreads]

0:50

stolen from: https://9gag.com/gag/a87QmB1?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=post_share

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

your mama is so fat, if i want to run over her, i'd have to fill up the gas halfway through.

 

[31 Black]

A guy gets pulled over.
"You know why I pulled you over?"
"No, sir," the guy calmly replies.
"You were driving a bit erratically back there. I'll need you take a breathalyzer test."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir," the guy calmly replies.
"Why not?"
"Because I have asthma, sir." The guy presents a medical note showing his diagnosis.
"I see. I'll need you to recite the alphabet backwards, then."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir," the guy repeats.
"Why not?"
"Because I have dyslexia, sir." The guy presents another medical note.
"I see. I'll need you to step out of the vehicle and do a line test, then."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir."
"Why not?"
"Because I have vertigo, sir." The guy presents yet another medical note.
"I see. I'll need to take you to the station for a blood test, then."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm on blood thinners, sir." The presents yet another medical note.
The officer shrugs. "Alright, then, I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Drive safe tonight, okay?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir."
"...why not?"
"Because I'm drunk, sir."

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

yo mama is so fat, on the bed, she falls from both sides.

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

0:29

https://9gag.com/gag/aE0yoxK

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

0:26

https://9gag.com/gag/a9yZDvL?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=post_share

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

https://9gag.com/gag/aGy6M86

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”

 

[KRAINOS]

stolen from someones profile
7320681-7a024c5b85d5603b4134b5e7a0d1e088.mp4

I love this clip, the sad little face after he says nigger "...no!....we don't say that"

Spoiler

YO MOMMA SO FAT
SHE NEED A CLOCK IN 2 TIMEZONES
SHEEEIIT

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

I love this clip, the sad little face after he says nigger "...no!....we don't say that"

Spoiler

YO MOMMA SO FAT
SHE NEED A CLOCK IN 2 TIMEZONES
SHEEEIIT

she was so sad after he said no, still makes me chuckle before and after saying nigger

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[Sugriva]

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

best tiktok npc hands down

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

 

[Go Fast Boats Mojito]

Little kids crack the funniest jokes, I swear. They're like:

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead".