there's a third option: you don't know what you're talking about. what you're doing is holding her to the same standard as someone who grew up in a normal household and didn't go through all the shit she went through. the girl has never been ok. what fraction of that is nature/nurture we don't know. keep in mind i'm not saying this in defense of her. the thing is, she's a ridiculous person. in that same vein, she's a ridiculous person because she's not well. the onlyfans isn't some kind of admission of her embellishing what's wrong with her. if anything's it's just another branch of the tumblrina shit, which was another branch of the myspace shit.
does she need to be surrounded by better people? oh, absolutely. but how does a person do that? like just think of all the shitty dynamics her father alone normalized for her. you think she has the tools to suss out a decent support group? it's unlikely she'll ever have a decent friend or healthy relationship. she's annoying af and keeps making bad choices. the former makes it hard to sympathize with the latter. i get it. but all you've done is said "these are the standards i set for her and since she didn't do them she must be a liar or stupid" like.....what???
also your false equivalence was especially ignorant